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Dear God -- Part II

By atheistnurse ~

Dear God,

I am married to an idiot. I know you told us women to submit to our husbands in ALL THINGS, but, honestly, why do we have to submit to an idiot? We are losing money on our cattle and goat ranch because of his stupid “Jacob Breeding Program,” (which he got from YOUR book). I have a degree in business and he didn’t even finish high school, but he won’t listen to me. And he keeps trying to get me to drink some foul smelling concoction right after he butchers a steer and has piles of fat and entrails everywhere. It’s creepy.

The thing that is really concerning me is that we have three teenagers, and, well, you must know how teenagers are. Sometimes they are moody or mouthy or rebellious, but all in all they are good kids. Willy keeps telling them that You want disrespectful kids taken to the gates of the city and stoned to death. We all laughed the first time he said it, until we noticed this funny look in his eyes. And the growing pile of rocks by the back door. Now the kids get real nervous around him and just try to avoid him completely.

I tried to point out that Leviticus also says, "'Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard,” and "They (shellfish) shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination." I just wanted to show him that You don’t expect us to follow every silly rule in the Old Testament, but you know Willy. He now looks like a dang fool with his sideburns a good two feet long and his beard puffed out all over the place and he quit taking me to the Chew N Chat Seafood Buffet on Friday nights. Not that I want to be seen in public with him now anyway. He takes everything in the Bible LITERALLY! See the problem?

Willy got real interested in Leviticus after that. Shortly afterwards I noticed a couple of Mexicans in our barn and asked Willy about them. He said he bought them to work the farm. I told him slavery was illegal, but he just quoted YOUR word, “As for your male and your female slaves, whom you may have; of the nations that are around you, from them you may buy male and female slaves.” He says he follows YOUR law, not the US of A’s law. I gave the Mexicans a few dollars and a ride into town and told them not to come back. Willy was furious when I got back and started yelling at me that I wasn’t a submissive godly wife. Whatever. Like I said, he is an idiot. And I am beginning to wonder about You.

If You are real, you better do something quick because me and the kids are fixing to pack up and leave.

Betty L. Smiteme