Skip to main content

Raise up a child in the way he should go.......

By Laura ~

I was adopted into a stable loving family in 1965. From the time I can remember (preschool), I was taught the Christian doctrine.

WarmImage by Casey David via Flickr
Vacation Bible School was never a choice, I had to go. The only kids I knew were from my church. I thought everybody lived this way.

By the time I was 8 I had learned every song that I was told would help me be a "good christian example"

That same year I was enrolled in a private Christian school. The only thing I remember about that school was that they had my parents permission to spank me. I was hit by these teachers from this "christian" school in the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade.

When I went back to public school for 6th grade,I was very naive. I can still remember my first traumatic experience.

That day I was out playing during recess and I remember hearing these new kids screaming and cussing at the top of there lungs. I was terrified. I really thought that the heavens were going to open up and a lightening bolt was going to strike down those "bad" kids. I remember thinking wow, I can't be friends with "non-Christians". What would my parents think? I wanted friends but who would my parents approve of?

When I turned 16 my thinking started to change. I had lived in a very sheltered environment all of my life. The only thing I wanted was to get away from these people who kept telling me that I was to live as an example of a "Child of God".

About that time I decided that I was the "prodigal son" that the bible told me, so I set out on my own path. At 17 I became pregnant. This was my 2nd traumatic religious experience. The bible said that I was not to have sex before marriage.

From then on I did a lot of things the bible told me not to. When the guilt crept in I turned to my friends who made me feel OK about what I was doing. By then I discovered just how naive I really was. Typically, their jokes went right over my head. I remember how embarrassed I was.

I had no point of reference to a lot of things. I didn't know what homosexuality was except what I was told the bible said. I also didn't know what my emotions were all about. I came from a home that was never hostile or angry. And I defiantly was not permitted to show anger at my parents. These people seemed to come from a different planet. I felt like such a black sheep around my parents and siblings. I was sure they could see my guilt and shame I carried with me.

Black sheep of the family, yes that is what I was. The 3rd religious trauma experience I had was the worst.

24 months after I graduated from high school, I had left the flock for freedom and a boyfriend and moved with him to Fresno, CA. Soon after, my 3 years of drug abuse finally caught up with me.

During a series of stressful events and culture shock from living "in sin" I became very emotionally sick. I couldn't sleep or eat. I felt judged by everyone in my life. I didn't know the first thing about taking care of myself. I became afraid and paranoid. My mind was playing tricks on me and I didn't know why. Soon my psychosis was very apparent. I began to believe that God was going to come down and take me to heaven or take everyone to heaven except me. That was very hard. But I still had more to learn.

A few years later I had an opportunity to find my paternal parents. I learned that my mother was an alcoholic and had an 8th grade education and my father was also an alcoholic and was obese and illiterate too. Many questions I had were answered. Turns out I came from 2 very dysfunctional and addicted people. They have since died from their disease.

Now at 46 I am able to see a clearer picture of who I am and why things happened the way they did.

Currently I am studying the disease of addiction and I hope to counsel people who want to stop their "internal" pain with drugs. I've sure had my share.

Thank you for your website. I am learning about this trauma I experienced and I thank-you for your research and tools to help me heal.


Popular posts from this blog

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo


By David Andrew Dugle ~   S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden –  Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not

Why I left the Canadian Reformed Church

By Chuck Eelhart ~ I was born into a believing family. The denomination is called Canadian Reformed Church . It is a Dutch Calvinistic Christian Church. My parents were Dutch immigrants to Canada in 1951. They had come from two slightly differing factions of the same Reformed faith in the Netherlands . Arriving unmarried in Canada they joined the slightly more conservative of the factions. It was a small group at first. Being far from Holland and strangers in a new country these young families found a strong bonding point in their church. Deutsch: Heidelberger Katechismus, Druck 1563 (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) I was born in 1955 the third of eventually 9 children. We lived in a small southern Ontario farming community of Fergus. Being young conservative and industrious the community of immigrants prospered. While they did mix and work in the community almost all of the social bonding was within the church group. Being of the first generation born here we had a foot in two