By True Anathema ~ I t has been one year now since I let go of my religious beliefs. I realized that the God I worshipped since I was less than three was not real, that he was a figment of my parents' imagination and that I had believed that he was real, but was deceived. At first, I was elated because of the new found freedom. Then came the grief and anger. Next came the anxiety and depression, then an ever present despair. Image by geirt.com via Flickr Since I have attended many churches over the years, breaking with a particular group was not really a problem, but now there is no social construct for me in which to gain a sense of worth or purpose. I continually have to remind myself that my worth comes from within, not from without. The interaction I get now is from a group of freethinkers that is more than one hour away. With a full time job, family, and the price of gas, I obviously don't get to interact with them very much. My husband and I were joking the oth...

By True Anathema ~ A theist . It used to be a dirty word. It's still a secret word in my vocabulary, but not secret to me. At least I can be honest with myself. I am the only God in control of my life now. No hell and no rules other than these laws we live by and my own conscience. Mine. That's a word that I haven't used with any freedom for years. Pride is supposed to be an origional sin , after all. But in the absence of sin, it really is a beautiful word. Mine. This life...mine. These thoughts...mine. This job, this money...mine. My time...mine. My future and my decisions...mine. I don't say this out of selfishness, but ownership. It is an ownership I have NEVER had, until recently. My successes and failures are also mine. This is pride. Now that's another dirty word for a Christian , isn't it? That's what made Lucifer fall from heaven and what made Adam and Eve sin isn't it? But there's nothing wrong with pride. Pride is good. Pride mean...

By True Anathema ~ T he love chapter ( I Corinthians 13 ) takes on a whole new meaning for me these days. The trappings of religion are nothing…these being tongues, prophecy, even preaching. Love is the measure. If one measures love by defining it as God, there might be a problem here. If one measures love as defined by the depth from which actions toward a fellow human being spring, when those actions seek his or her freedom, peace and well being, then love turns all else into vanity. Verse three states, “If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” If this verse is true, then those who seek solely to build the kingdom of God gain nothing. If I sacrifice truly for the well being of another: to be the voice of the oppressed, to make sure the poor have food and shelter and do it not for any type of gain, that is the reward. Faith does not remain…that is gone. But I have hope and love. If love alwa...

By True Anathema ~ I was raised in the C harismatic movement in the North during the "revival" of 1976. I gave my heart to Jesus and " Baptized in the Holy Spirit " before the age of 6. I moved in the gifts of the spirit and had several tangible experiences in my early childhood and teen years (which I now recognize as psychotic episodes because of bi-polar disorder ). At the age of 31 I began questioning the inerrancy of the Word of God and the person-hood of Jesus Christ, along with the existence of hell. Most recently, I disposed of that faith altogether, but it is still a very hard journey. I have a family member that has given me permission to speak my doubts and the freedom I have experienced has been very liberating. However, the journey with my family is a difficult one as some made it very clear they are not willing to have me question, so I lead two lives and am being patient until I am able to be the person I believe I am. I have written a letter ...