10 Reasons ExChristians Can Look Forward to a Bright 2014

By Valerie Tarico ~

Days may be dark right now—after all, as the memes proclaim, axial tilt is the reason for the season. But things are looking bright for those who would like to see humanity more grounded in science and reason. If you are a nontheist in the mood for a party, here are ten reasons to celebrate.

1. Coming out atheist is up and coming. In May of 2013, after a deadly tornado destroyed her home, young mother Rebecca Vitsmun gave an unexpected answer when CNN’s Wolf Blitzer asked whether she thanked the Lord for her decision to flee. Vitsmun tells the story in a sometimes tearful interview with Seth Andrews, host of The Thinking Atheist. “I had this moment in which I realized you either lie or tell the truth, and I-I’m not a liar.” In that moment, Vitsmun outed herself not only to a national media audience but also to her Christian parents and friends.

Vitsmun’s situation was extraordinary, but candor about nonbelief is becoming more and more commonplace. From Hollywood celebs like Angelina Jolie to ordinary high school students, skeptics are opening up about their beliefs and values—or simply declining to lie when asked. A quick-read book, Mom, Dad, I’m an Atheist, offers tips for those who are contemplating when, where, and how best to come out.

2. The cutting edge of freethought is less cutting and edgy. In generations past, coming out as an atheist required a devil-may-care attitude. The social and even financial costs were so high that most admitted atheists were also unflinching social activists, people who had a high degree of zeal and high tolerance for conflict. Most were also white males who were comparatively safe taking on the religious establishment. Until recently, then, atheism was virtually synonymous with anti-theism, and even today people complain that pioneers of the New Atheist movement like Dawkins, Harris, Dennett, and the late great Hitchens are unnecessarily antagonistic.

But thanks in part to their courage and flame-throwing, a new generation is emerging, one that sees atheism not as an end point, but as a beginning. Alain de Botton’s TED talk and book, Atheism 2.0, simply posits the nonexistence of God and then goes on to discuss what humanity can glean from the rubble of old supernaturalist traditions. Many younger people are casting aside labels and adopting what fits from religious holidays and traditions, in the same way that they mix and match cultural, racial or sexual identity. As boundaries soften, more women, Hispanics, and Blacks are joining or even leading the conversations.

3. Biblical sexuality is getting binned. Finally. In the last part of December, marriage equality became law in two more states: New Mexico and — drumroll — Utah! Even more exciting is the fact that legal changes can barely keep up with shifting attitudes about queer sexuality. Things are changing when it comes to straight sex, too, and not in keeping with biblical priorities. Perhaps the most consistent sexual theme in the Bible is that a woman’s consent is not needed or even preferred before sex. By demanding an end to rape culture, today’s young women and men are making the Bible writers look as if they were members of a tribal, Iron Age culture in which women were property like livestock and children—to be traded, sold, and won in battle. Small wonder the culture warriors have ramped up their fight against contraception and abortion. Imagine if, on top of everything else, all women got access to expensive top-tier contraceptives and the power to end ill-conceived childbearing. The words, you’re fucked, might lose their meaning.

4. Recovering believers are reclaiming their lives. Most nontheists are former believers, which means that many carry old psychological baggage from childhood beliefs or some post-childhood cycle of conversion and deconversion. While many former believers slip out of religion unscathed, some do not, and believers in recovery now have a name, reclaimers. A small but growing number of cognitive scientists are exploring the relationship between religion and mental illnesses like depression, anxiety disorders and panic. For example, Marlene Winell, a California consultant who works full time with recovering fundamentalists, has brought attention to a pattern she calls Religious Trauma Syndrome. Dr. Darrel Ray has created a matching service for secular clients and therapists, while Kathleen Taylor at Oxford has raised the question of whether religious fundamentalism itself may one day be treatable.

5. Communities are coming together. When two British comedians, Pippa Evans and Sanderson Jones, launched a “sort-of church” for nontheists last January, their Sunday Assembly got media attention around the world. By December, they were on a 40 day tour of 40 cities from Auckland to Portland helping local groups launch assemblies of their own.

Their quirky effort is part of a much broader movement among non-theists who are exploring how to build communities that provide mutual assistance, outlets for wonder and delight, rituals to mark holidays, and organized volunteering. Some, like the Sunday Assembly or Jerry DeWitt’s Community Mission Chapel, deliberately draw on the structure of the traditional church service, with music and a brief lecture followed by tea or coffee. Others, like Seattle Atheists, use social media to organize a broad array of lectures, community service opportunities and recreation. Harvard’s Humanist Community opened doors on a new Humanist Hub for both students and locals on December 8. Even clergy who have lost their faith are banding together for mutual support and friendship.

6. Secular giving is growing. In times of crisis, faith communities often step in to provide emergency assistance or to help those who are most poor and desperate. Proselytizing aside, churches are able to provide real service because they have both the will and the necessary infrastructure. Increasingly, atheists and humanists are saying, we need to do the same. Since 2010, the Foundation Beyond Belief has given away almost 1.5 million raised from nontheists who can give as little as $5/month, and is now turning attention to building a corps of humanist volunteers, which is also a focus of the Harvard community. In July, the Foundation Beyond Belief will host their first conference, Humanism at Work.

7. The Religious Right is licking wounds. Bets are still out on whether the Catholic Bishops and the Southern Baptists are retreating or simply rebranding, but either one is good for people who care about science, reason, compassion, or the common good. What’s clear is that the two most powerful hierarchies in the Religious Right have realized that they can’t simply seize the reins of power and remake secular institutions along theological lines. Pope Francis has given a mixture of signals on how much evidence and compassion will guide church priorities—mostly along the lines of yes if you’re poor, no if you’re female or gay. Russell Moore, new head of the Southern Baptist Convention, has warned that Baptists shouldn’t be “mascots for any political faction.” The takeaway for all of us? Fearful, authoritarian conservatives have been smacked back in their patriarchal power plays, and they know it. Shining a light on cruelty bigotry and ignorance works.

8. Texas is evolving! The State of Texas is such a large textbook market that Texas standards can influence content across the nation. This means that a handful of well-placed wing nuts in Texas can reshape the next generation’s understanding of science or history. Thanks to the hard work of the Texas Freedom Network and young activists, public school texts in Texas will be teaching biological science rather than creationism. This fall, reviewers appointed by the Texas Board of Education pushed to include creationism in the texts, but publishers pushed back. Acceptance of evolution is growing across the country, and as Darwin said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” Ultimately, the review panel itself rejected creationist arguments. Now that’s evolution!

9. Millennials are booting religion out of the public square. When it comes to separation of church and state, young people are teaming up with established players like the Freedom From Religion Foundation for some real wins. Many of the most hopeful, inspiring freethought stories of 2013 had young protagonists, and we can expect more of the same moving forward. Zack Kopplin was still in high school when he took on the state of Louisiana over creationism in schools. Now he is a full time science advocate and columnist for the Guardian. “Evil little thing” Jessica Ahlquist, whose lawsuit forced removal of a prayer banner at her high school in 2012, has continued a path of secular activism. Inspiring stories of other young church-state activists can be found here.

10. Young freethinkers are also leading on fairness, curiosity and wonder. The list goes on. Young adults who grew up isolated in abusive homeschooling situations have created a network, Homeschoolers Anonymous, so that they can lend each other support and fight for change. When a Catholic school in Bellevue, Washington fired a gay teacher, hundreds of students walked out chanting, “Change the church.” Their protest was picked up by students at other schools and Catholic alumni.

A new documentary movie with a Millennial production crew, The Unbelievers, has been described as a rock concert love-fest between biologist Richard Dawkins and physicist Larry Krause and their fan base of science lovers. For freethinkers who want to find secular inspiration rather than to join a fight for rights and reason, young photographer Chris Johnson has created a coffee table book that challenges readers to grab hold of this one precious life: A Better Life—100 Atheists Speak Out About Joy and Meaning in a World Without God. Even independent of Johnson's project, the title says it all.

Together, these small changes add up to real progress for science and reason. According to a recent Harris poll, belief in gods, miracles, souls and heaven and hell are down by close to 1% a year over the last eight years, while recognition of evolution is up. Better yet, From Matures to Baby Boomers to Gen X to Echo Boomers, each generation surveyed reports a lower level of religious supernaturalism than the generation that came before. Let’s drink to that!

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Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light and Deas and Other Imaginings, and the founder of www.WisdomCommons.org. Subscribe to her articles at Awaypoint.Wordpress.com.

Related:

An Atheist Photographer Takes a Trip that Changes His Life

London’s “Atheist Church” Goes All Out to Celebrate Its First Holiday Season

Right Wing Finally Notices That Women Vote–Maybe.

Religion May Not Survive the Internet

Why do I have to suffer?

By John ~

I'm in so much pain.

My faith has been shattered into nothingness. I'm left in a state of confusion and dismay. I ask God sometimes why he does not show me he loves me and that he is real, but at lass, I get no answers. I tried 1000 times and I have failed 1000 over to go back to the faith. I feel like my mind has been played with, deceived for all those years for absolutely nothing.

It seems no amount of logic and reasoning, learning, thinking can bypass the fear and guilt of this God, yet how can I not believe in this God and yet hold onto such rigid feelings at the same time? I feel like I'm stuck in limbo and that I'm a living paradox it-self.

I long for a soul to exist. I cannot fancy myself the way some nonbelievers do to say life is full of so many wondrous things. it's full of repetition and trite things, bad and evil things, unfairness, a system that is governed by it's king, I call it money. I cannot accept that this is it and yet I cannot force myself to believe in the soul concept anymore right now, thus I'm stuck in limbo on this as well.

I cry on the inside from my pains, pains that have both to do with my former faith and my life itself. Some people tell me to take the magic happy pills called depression pills, but I refuse to undertake such flawed methods when are understanding of the mind is too limited.


My anger at times boils because I got screwed out of a real life and it is I who wants a soul to be real more then many would think...I see a world where everyone is fighting. arguing and talking behind each others back. hypocrites I see in both theist's and atheist's alike.

My anger at times boils because I got screwed out of a real life and it is I who wants a soul to be real more then many would think, yet it is I who has to try to accept that we live and then all we have will be taken from you in the end.

My agonies are great in number, even in my dreams I cannot escape it. why has God forsaken me I sometimes ask, but at lass this sounds like I still believe. maybe I do? how do I believe in a God that can do all things because he can just do it? what little of logic and reasoning my mind is capable of cannot see how it's possible for such a being to really exist, yet the fear and guilt of the God of Christianity is still there, and it seems worse then ever.

Why, why do I have to suffer all this agony both because of the faith and things outside of it. why?

My tears matter not, my pain is all in vain. I feel lost in the dark not knowing what the hell I'm doing anymore. I say to myself sometimes...never mind that part.

I cannot worship such gods that torture people eternally even if they were to exist. if they could read my thoughts they would see I think their evil for doing so. I would want real logical answers in to why god or gods allowed so much suffering all the way down to insects. I have heard the answers so far in in to why and yet they do not add up to me. and the idea I have to conform to a reality that a wizard in another realm that can hear my every thought and can do all things with his super powers is so patently absurd to me now, yet I still have the fear and guilt. I do not comprehend how this can be at this point.

I hate what the faith has done to me and it's all based on lies at the same time.

I feel so sad and helpless.

Speak of the Devil…

By Daniel out of the Lion's Den ~

My wife asserts that I am being blinded by Satan, and that he uses science to bring about my unbelief. This certainly attributes a great amount of ability to this creature. That he can telepathically implant thoughts and ideas in my brain to alter the process of how I arrive at rational conclusions? That he has just the right biochemical substance to create a neurotransmitter, injecting it at just the right location in my frontal lobe to be carried across just the right synapses to bring about doubt in the existence of God, the deity of Jesus and the inerrancy of Scripture? Whoa, if somebody could bottle that…

Thinking about Satan was a big part of my deconversion. Consider all the human perspectives of this being, everything from a hideous monster to a beautiful angel. All these images concerning a being that has never been seen! Yet, 57% of Americans assert that Satan is real. It’s all a part of the clergy casting their net of fear as a means of control. After all, why be afraid if there is no Satan or his band of demons? What would the preacher substitute for the imagery of a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour? (notice in the Bible that “lion” is used as a metaphor for both Satan AND Jesus. Does that make any sense?) If a god exists without supernatural opposition, then its omnipotence is somewhat diminished. The whole idea that there has to be an Antagonist, a Yang to the Yin, in the great cosmic story makes it appear even more mythical.

The Firing of the Accuser


Evidently, part of Satan’s job description in heaven was to bring charges against humans, as is recorded in the Books of Job and Revelation:

“Does Job fear God for nothing? …But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face.” (Job 1:9-11)

“…for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night.” (Revelation 12:10)

I wonder what Satan’s job was before God created Adam and Eve? But all good things must come to an end, and Satan’s gig in heaven reached its conclusion. The account of Satan being thrown out of heaven like a disgruntled employee escorted out by security, swearing that he will get his revenge. It in essence sets up the impending mother of all battles at the end of time:

“I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the Most High.” (Isaiah 14:13-14)

And it wasn’t enough that Satan alone was cast out. He must have put together quite the coup d'état, getting 33% of the angels to join with him. Now, it’s one thing for us wicked, sinful, faithless humans to reject the never-before-seen Almighty Creator of the Universe. But for an angel who has spent eternity in the presence of this perfect god in its heavenly paradise to decide he will oppose it? Wait, does that mean angels can sin and are in need of a redemptive blood sacrifice? Oy-vey, my mind is doing contorted gymnastics! Nevertheless:

And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. (Revelation 12:9)

Why cast them to Earth? Why not Jupiter, where they can’t bother us? The part of the story about one-third of the angels siding with Satan (And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth) comes a few verses prior.

Can Satan Physically Harm Me?

Sometimes I think that if I were to die in an automobile accident or have an untimely heart attack or cerebral hemorrhage, my wife would attribute my death to this verse:

…To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. (I Corinthians 5:5)

At least then she would be able to sleep thinking that I’m in heaven. But what is this verse implying? That this Fallen Angel, Satan, can murder me? Particularly, if church elders gather and decide that it’s best for the eternal fate of my soul that my life ends as soon as possible so my spirit might be saved? What if one of them thinks he has received a message from God that he is to carry out this merciful act? This may seem extreme, but as Richard Dawkins has pointed out, the existence of moderate religion enables religious extremism. I certainly have been acquainted with at least one Christian who was capable of such an act.

Did I really used to believe this?

Most of my Facebook friends are Christians. Since my coming out, the amount of facebook comments that they will make on my status or photos have greatly diminished. I suppose I have also been more reserved in my comment-making. But I do pay a bit more attention to the links they will post, mainly to compare the link to what I used to believe. These links range from websites of big name evangelicals like Beth Moore or Joel Osteen, to countless memes. One friend recently posted the following link:

http://www.aheartforgod.org/2013/06/18/10-mistakes-people-make-with-the-devil-plus-1-bonus/

Why cast them to Earth? Why not Jupiter, where they can’t bother us? I have never heard of this Pastor Mike Campagna, but evidently he has a series of these lists of “10 mistakes people make with…” various things, and always adds “plus 1 bonus”. So, doing my usual “Did I really used to believe this?” exercise, I am embarrassed to admit that, yes, I did. You can look at these 11 points yourself, but three items stand out:

1. The pastor believes that Satan himself does not personally harass people, but assigns demon underlings to do his dirty work.
 
2. The pastor believes that Satan can plant thoughts and recognize responses, but cannot read our minds.
 
3. The pastor believes that people are under the spell of the Satan.

The Cultivation of Mental Illness

As the husband of a psychologist (how’s that for a credential?), I would assess that anyone who believes these three points are demonstrating psychotic behavior. Have they demonstrated a loss of contact with reality? Yes. Have they demonstrated delusions of persecution? Yes. When my wife was in her graduate studies, she would come home fuming that the students were being taught that there was a connection between religious belief and mental illness. At the time, my reaction as a Christian was arrogant – “Of course they teach that, they don’t have the Holy Spirit to reveal truth like we do.” Today, I’m convinced that religion cultivates mental illness. Many years ago while in the military, I saw a psychologist who diagnosed me as being borderline psychotic. This was due to an extreme religious belief and the fact that my actions demonstrated that I could not tell right from wrong (using religion to justify disobedience). This was something I was taught by my pastor. So I come to this conclusion not only by observation but by personal experience.

A Need for Satan?

I have been taught by more than one pastor that Satan is to be respected, for he wields great power. Look at what gets attributed to Satan and demons: People who leave religion for rational and logical thought; Disease and illness; Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Typhoons, Sinkholes; The fall of hypocritical clergy; Just about anything considered adverse has been attributed to Satan. Sometimes I think, “What would Christians do without Satan?”

Once one is convinced that the idea of Satan is mythical, there are other paramount implications. Since Jesus, as recorded in the Gospels, believed that Satan was real and could do many of the things listed above, his credibility as a god-man is crushed. Since Paul, as recorded in many epistles, believed that Satan was real and could do many of the things listed above, his credibility as a Holy Spirit-filled Apostle of the one true God is greatly diminished. Since the Old and New Testaments contain these and many other assertions that Satan is real, it becomes not much more than a book of rants by crazy, ancient Middle-Eastern nomads. Since there was no real Satan in the form of a snake to tempt Eve with the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, then there was no first sin, and no need for redemption of the human race via the atoning blood sacrifice of the Lamb of God. And no need for… Christianity.

"D" is for Duck Dynasty…and Double Standard: Why Conservatives are Freaking Out and Why LGBTQIA is Rightfully Upset

By xxkindofboredxx ~

Why Everyone Is Freaking Out In The First Place

Excerpt from GQ Magazine’s interview with Phil Robertson:

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

“We’re Bible-thumpers who just happened to end up on television,” he tells me. “You put in your article that the Robertson family really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let’s get on with it, and everything will turn around.”

What does repentance entail? Well, in Robertson’s worldview, America was a country founded upon Christian values (Thou shalt not kill, etc.), and he believes that the gradual removal of Christian symbolism from public spaces has diluted those founding principles. (He and Si take turns going on about why the Ten Commandments ought to be displayed outside courthouses.) He sees the popularity of Duck Dynasty as a small corrective to all that we have lost.

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong,” he says. “Sin becomes fine.”

What, in your mind, is sinful?

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

During Phil’s darkest days, in the early 1970s, he had to flee the state of Arkansas after he badly beat up a bar owner and the guy’s wife. Kay Robertson persuaded the bar owner not to press charges in exchange for most of the Robertsons’ life savings. (“A hefty price,” he notes in his memoir.) I ask Phil if he ever repented for that, as he wants America to repent—if he ever tracked down the bar owner and his wife to apologize for the assault. He shakes his head.

“I didn’t dredge anything back up. I just put it behind me.”

As far as Phil is concerned, he was literally born again. Old Phil—the guy with the booze and the pills—died a long time ago, and New Phil sees no need to apologize for him: “We never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

Robertsons’s comments have (unsurprisingly) gained serious attention within the past few days on sites like Facebook and Twitter. The conservative right has put in their own two cents, including former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin (R):

"Free speech is an endangered species. Those ‘intolerants’ hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us,”

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (R) says:

"Phil Robertson and his family are great citizens of the State of Louisiana. The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with. I don’t agree with quite a bit of stuff I read in magazine interviews or see on TV," said Jindal, who began serving as governor in 2008. "In fact, come to think of it, I find a good bit of it offensive. But I also acknowledge that this is a free country and everyone is entitled to express their views. In fact, I remember when TV networks believed in the First Amendment. It is a messed up situation when Miley Cyrus gets a laugh, and Phil Robertson gets suspended."

And of course, many ordinary citizens have taken to Facebook as well to show their support for Mr. Robertson. In fact, a page on FB called “Boycott A&E Until Phil Robertson is Put Back on Duck Dynasty” has - as of 2:00 PM on Friday, December 20 - gained 1.5 million likes.

And according many, his suspension from A&E is a free speech issue.

Free Speech Infringed Upon?

The problem with this argument is that (no offense) it doesn’t make any sense. Robertson has not faced jail time or been told by the United States Government that he was not allowed to make those comments.

What has happened is that his private employer, A&E, has suspended him because they saw his comments as contradictory to their own beliefs as to how they run their business. A&E responded with this statement:

"We are extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are based on his own personal beliefs and not reflected in the series Duck Dynasty. His personal views in no way reflect those of A&E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community. The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”

When the controversial comments were made by Robertson, he was doing an interview for GQ Magazine about the show he is in on the channel A&E. This interview dealt with his private employer, which reserves the right to suspend him for misrepresenting their company. What he said might have been his own personal views, but from a business perspective, he was on record, in a business situation, making these comments while also talking about a show that his private employer owns the rights to. Although his views didn’t deal with the show directly, he is in the public eye because of Duck Dynasty; while he is still working for A&E, he knows that there is a certain image that he - and the rest of his family - are expected to portray.

"But He Has a Right To His Own Opinion!!!"

This has been the consensus around social media for the past few days. And it’s completely correct. He has the right to his opinion, and he stated it. As stated before, his private employer suspended them and they had every right to. Now every one is angry at A&E.

Why Robertson’s Remarks Were Offensive

Robertson grouped gay people with “drunks” and “terrorists” in the latter part of his interview. While he did say that he and his family “loves them,” it was inappropriate to group these people with the likes of terrorists, who have been responsible for thousands of deaths all over the world. He paraphrases the Biblical book of Corinthians and says that “homosexual offenders” will not “inherit the kingdom of God,” aka, they will burn forever. Gay people have heard this kind of stuff their whole lives in many cases, and it is insulting to think someone casually assumes you will burn for the rest of an eternity because you love another human being.

He says that being gay leads to having rampant sex with many people and eventually having sexual relations with animals. As I said before, this is insulting to gay people on a ridiculous level. If straight Christians were told by a gay person on national television that their “sinful” lives would lead to eventually shamelessly having sex with anyone they see and then having sex with animals, everyone would be up in arms, because a statement like that is ridiculous and insulting.

What It’s Really About: Many Christians and Religious People Feel Threatened by the Growing Acceptance of the LGBTQIA Community

Yes, I said it, and everyone (even Christians) know it’s true. It really boils down to the fact that most American Christians (not all of them, but most) who are fairly conservative disapprove of LGBTQIA and feel that our country’s moral fabric is being threatened by this “sinful” behavior. They are afraid that acceptance will become so widespread that their impressionable children will be raised in a society that accepts the fact that human sexuality is wide and diverse. They are afraid this will cause their children to be influenced by these “demonic powers” of Satan and therefore “decide” to become gay. And then God, who loves everyone, will burn them forever in fiery torture lest they repent. Well, some people don’t believe that sends you to hell. Depends on who you ask.

Okay, minus the sarcasm, I feel that this is what this whole Phil Robertson thing is really about. For those of you who don’t know, the Bible teaches that God laid down a set of rigorous rules for the ancient Jews to follow. This included not wearing clothes of mixed fabrics, not eating shellfish or pork, and complicated rules regarding animal sacrifices which were required for forgiveness of sins. It was stated in these rules that if two men had sex, they were to be stoned to death. Many Christians refer to the Bible to state that homosexuality is wrong and should not be accepted as normal behavior.

The problem with this is that they are getting their morals from a book that requires those who pick up sticks on the Sabbath be stoned to death. That the throats of calves be slit, that their blood be sprinkled on the altar; cut into pieces and given to God as a burnt offering. The Bible says this was a pleasing aroma to God.

God said that if a man and a woman have sex while the woman is on her period, that both of them should be “cut off from among their people.” That if a betrothed virgin is raped within a city, and doesn’t cry out loud enough, that the men of the city were to stone her to death.

God’s champion, Joshua, killed thousands upon thousands in the name of his Lord, and by his command. The armies of Israels were to take the virgin women for themselves in many instances. Slavery was okay, and you weren’t in trouble if your slave got up within three days of beating him/her.

No, I am not making any of this up. This is only the tip of the iceberg regarding these types of things that can be found within the Bible.

So why do Christians insist on ignoring these other rules? Why do they insist on deriving their morals from a book that obviously has some rather hideous demands?

"But That Was The Old Testament."

Honestly, why should that matter? It was still something that God supposedly ordained. I’m not trying to attack the Christian faith: I’m trying to illustrate that deriving your moral standard from this book is probably not a good idea.

Why the LGBT Community Gets Upset When Stuff Like This Happens

Christians wonder why the LGBT community gets angry with people like Phil Robertson- he says that gay people are going to hell, and that they are under some kind of spell from “sin” and that this spell leads you to have rampant sex with many people and also start having relations with animals. This is insulting to LGBTQIA people, who do not exactly see it the same way that you do.

Actually, being gay, etc. isn’t exactly something you can help. Christians and people of other religious persuasions do not believe this statement. They feel that it is some excuse that the Community has made up in order to make themselves feel better about their “sin”. In fact, human sexuality (while fluid in many cases) is not something that can be chosen. Do you really think that someone would choose to make it difficult on themselves? To have strife between themselves and their parents? To be laughed at and bullied at school? Christians say, “that is the power of sin. Gay people have no shame. They are proud of their sin and don’t care what anyone thinks.” No. No, gay people are born the way they are. They have deal with the shit they do because of people who think their God’s rules trump human rights and acceptance. They are tired of being put down for how they were born. And since when was it bad to be proud of who you are?

This is why the LGBTQIA Community gets upset. For years and years they have simply wanted to be treated as equals. They aren’t out to make you gay, they aren’t mad at you because you are straight or Christian. They are mad because you push the bronze-age rules of your religion on the rest of society. These rules do not make sense to them and many other people. And if these rules came from any other religion other than Christianity, Christians would also see them as abhorrent and vile.

The Community gets upset because every time someone like Robertson gets up and says this kind of stuff, a hoard of people flood the social media to show their support of this outdated mentality that being gay is sinful. It perpetuates the hate and the judgment from other people, no matter how much you aren’t judging them.

You can’t help who you love. End the hate and judgement.

#NoH8

Website: http://xxkindofboredxx.tumblr.com

An Atheist Photographer Takes a Trip that Changes His Life

By Valerie Tarico ~

When freelance photographer Chris Johnson climbed into the passenger seat of a borrowed Honda Civic and set off with his brother Peter to see the Southwest, he thought he was in for a journey of at most a few thousand miles. He had no idea.



In the summer of 2011, Chris and Peter set out from San Antonio, Texas. Their destination was their hometown of Seattle, Washington for an annual family vacation. On the way, they found themselves looking out over the snow-like dunes of White Sands National Monument, New Mexico, with the sun sinking behind the San Andres Mountains. Chris pulled out his camera. “You should do a photography book,” said Peter.

Chris shrugged him off. “There are so many books out there,” he said. “Nobody knows who I am.”

But Peter persisted, “You just have to find some way to make it different.”

Between towns, tourist stops, and national monuments, the brothers had been passing time by listening to podcasts about religion and atheism. Though Chris was not religious himself, the topic was a longstanding interest; he had minored in religious studies in college. Now, his brother’s nudging fused in his mind with the podcasts and the intense power of the landscape. So many people thought that the awe and wonder he was experiencing required religion. What if he created a book that showed otherwise?

Two years later, Chris’s Southwestern excursion has become a journey of over 75,000 miles. His book, A Better Life: Joy and Meaning in a World Without God, is due out in January and comprises portraits and interviews with a hundred atheists from across the U.S., Canada, and Western Europe. In this interview he discusses the experience and how it changed him.

You came home from your trip and picked back up the pieces of an ordinary life. What happened next?

CJ: I was doing freelance photography, just going about my life, but the idea kept coming back to me. I pictured an art book, one that could sit on your coffee table. Someone might come into a house and pick it up and read a single page. I pictured something that might make religious people reconsider how they think about atheists. (Take, for example someone like Oprah. We all heard about her comment.) I pictured something that might change how atheists think about their own lives.

Then I came across Kickstarter, and I thought, “Ok, this completes the puzzle.” So, I put it out there.

And the response?

CJ: In the end, it just took off! But it took a lot of work to get the word out. I wasn’t involved in the secular or atheist community at all. I didn’t know anybody. I just emailed people I’d never met and said, “Do you want to be in this book? Will you help me publicize it?” Some were hesitant because they didn’t know who I was. Maybe they thought it was a prank or I was pulling a scam. People in the atheist/skeptic community are, well, skeptical. I had to convince them I was legit.

I had been doing freelance photography, but I stopped so I could focus full time on this. I was living off of my savings, so there was a lot riding on doing this project and getting the funding. The stress of trying to raise all the money [laughs]—let’s just say it was a stressful two months. I look back and think, “I was absolutely crazy. What was I thinking?”

But it happened. And you hit the road.

CJ: I started at the end of June 2012 and just finished all of the shoots this past September. It was an incredible journey but I had a lot of support. My father is a liberal Christian who has always let us make up our own minds. My mother is non-religious. So, my family was very supportive of my drive to do this book. I also have many friends who are religious and have encouraged me throughout the process. For example, one of my Catholic friends was in grad school at Notre Dame, and when I was in Chicago for the book, he drove up the two hours from Indiana so we could have dinner and talk about how the project was coming along.

How did you find the 100 people you interviewed?

CJ: Some people I knew of, like Dawkins, and had read their books or seem them lecture before. Some were recommended to me. One time I was watching the CBS news magazine, 60 Minutes. There was a segment on extreme sports, and they featured a young guy named Alex Honnold who is one of the greatest free-solo climbers in the world (meaning he mainly climbs without ropes). And I thought, “Wow, if this guy were an atheist he would be great in this project!” I ended up going out to Yosemite National Park to meet with him. Yosemite is one of the most beautiful places in the country.

What have these 2 years been like?

CJ:. My travels took me all over the U.S, Canada, U.K. and Germany. I did shoots in a wide range of places: from swimming in San Francisco Bay, to the English Countryside, to small towns in the Midwest, to Central Park here in New York. I would have loved to travel to other continents but I didn’t have the resources. Maybe the next book [laughs]. I did, however, try to include people from many different backgrounds and experiences. I wanted to show the diversity within the atheist community.

I pictured something that might make religious people reconsider how they think about atheists. I pictured something that might change how atheists think about their own lives.It was a huge challenge. I spent months and months traveling to places I’d never been, and it was just me doing all the logistics; arranging travel and hotels; how I get from A to B, etc. That being said, it was wonderful, connecting with all these people from all walks of life, for example: joining in a Kurdish celebration for Houzan Mahmoud’s 40^th birthday in London, spending the afternoon with Julia Sweeney and her daughter in Chicago, or having lunch with James Watson. Each one of them welcomed me into their homes and lives and introduced me to the people, places, experiences, activities and ideas that bring them joy.

Are there memories that particularly stand out?

CJ: One time that sticks out was a moment I shared with illusionist James “the Amazing” Randi. I was at his home in Florida, and after our shoot I called a taxi but they told me it would be 45 minutes. Randi proceeded to take out an enormous scrapbook, and while we waited he flipped through this book of photographs and clippings from his life. He told me stories and explained the photos. It was incredible to be able to sit down with someone like Randi (who is 85 years-old) and have him tell me about his life.

How has it changed you?

CJ: You know how once in a while we have conversations with friends or family about—We each have this one precious life—What matters? I was having that conversation every day with people from around the world. A couple months into the trip I was on an airplane and it really hit me. I found myself thinking about my mortality, my relationships with other people, the good things I’ve done as well as the mistakes. It made me acutely aware of making my own life better, try to enjoy the moments more and reflect on my own behavior and choices. I’m someone who has dealt with depression in my life, so doing a project that focuses on joy is personally relevant.

Are there particular perspectives that you have claimed as your own?

CJ: People who believe in an afterlife say things like, “If this is the only life you have why don’t you just look out for yourself? Why don’t you just go kill everybody?” For me, if this is all we have -- this brief moment of time together -- then the experiences are that much more important because they are so limited. Living fully means trying to savor the moment. It means realizing that just because all things end doesn’t mean they weren’t worth doing.

So how do you, personally, find joy and meaning in a world without gods?

I get joy and meaning from many aspects of life. My relationships with those around me mean a great deal, and I’m lucky to have a supportive family and wonderful group of friends. Simple things like going to see a musical or watching a film can fill me with euphoria, as can traveling. For example, I remember hiking up Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh in the rain to visit the ruins of St. Anthony’s Chapel. I found myself standing alone and wet, immersed in history and beauty, fully present in the moment. It was unforgettable.

---

A preview of Chris Johnson’s book can be found at A Better Life (www.theatheistbook.com).

Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light and Deas and Other Imaginings, and the founder of www.WisdomCommons.org. Subscribe to her articles at Awaypoint.Wordpress.com.

Finding new meaning in Christmas

By Christina H ~

At this time of year I listen to Tim Minchin’s ‘White Wine in the Sun’ over and over again. It’s on my Christmas playlist twice.

"I really like Christmas
It’s sentimental I know
But I just really like it."

Because I do. Almost in spite of myself. When I realised four years ago that I was no longer a Christian, an atheist even, I had to reorganise so many of my attitudes about life. There were so many questions to answer: What can I tell people about why I stopped attending church? Is it possible to avoid aggrieving the people I love? How do I make my parents understand that this is not a decision motivated by booze and sex? I worked through my questions, slowly, and then suddenly Christmas was upon me.

I hadn’t anticipated it, but this was one of the Hard Things to Deal With. Christmas had always been one of my favourite times of year, so deeply invested in meaning, but now all of that meaning had been ripped away from me. This favourite holiday was suddenly painful. In the past I had loved decorating and playing Christmas carols, but now the Christmas carols taunted me with a baby Messiah I couldn’t believe in and a promise of peace that rang hollow.

Throughout the month of December, not a day went by without me facing the impossible question: what is Christmas supposed to mean now? And then Christmas came. And I still really liked it.

"I’m looking forward to Christmas
Though I’m not expecting a visit from Jesus."

This year, I think I have finally put my finger on what it is that I still love about Christmas. I mean, there is obvious appeal in getting together with the people you love and in cheerful music and in pretty decorations in cosy colours and in delicious food, but none of that is what has invested my post-Christian Christmases with meaning. There is pretty much near-universal appeal in messages of peace and stories in which a hero is destined to make the world right but I don’t really believe in those things, so they aren’t invested in meaning for me either.

Here is what makes Christmas meaningful for me:

The exchange of gifts.

I know. It sounds so capitalist, so buying-right-in-to-commercialisation, so contrary to the ONE thing people of all creeds and none can get together on when it comes to Christmas: the commercial aspect of it is excessive and far too many people spend far too much money on junk at Christmastime. But hear me out.

As I clicked through to the fifth article I read this week about the evils of gift-giving traditions, something in me went ‘Screw you.’ Screw you and your advice to agree not to exchange gifts with family, or to Spend Quality Time as my gift to them, or to make the same cookies for everyone to save money and to spare me the Stress of Buying the Wrong Thing.

I really like buying gifts for my family and receiving them in return, and you can stop being all Holier Than Thou because you consider yourself Above gift-giving traditions.

Sure, gift giving isn’t for everyone but it is for *us*. For many people t is an unnecessary stressful obligation, but gift giving is part of how my family does relationships. When people complain about the evils of gift-giving traditions, I can’t help thinking they’re doing it wrong. It’s like buying spam and some tinned cranberry sauce for Christmas dinner and complaining about how unsatisfying the Christmas-dinner tradition is. If you don’t care to go to the effort of preparing a grand meal that’s fine, but don’t complain that Christmas dinners are soulless and an inconvenient obligation. Do Christmas whichever way best suits you.

Here is why gift-giving is so important to me:

Growing up, we didn’t have very much. Our parents couldn’t afford to give us things we wanted throughout the year (necessities were expensive enough) but at Christmas they always surprised us with how much they had managed to scrape together to answer our heart’s desires. They were always thoughtful in what they bought us, and I pitied my friends whose well-off parents simply bought whatever some retail assistant had told them the kids were crazy about this year. While they got impersonal ipods, I got books by my favourite authors, brain-teasing games, clothing I had mentioned a liking for in passing.

Now that I am grown up and participate in gift giving, my family still practices thoughtful gift giving. We are a broken family now, in more ways than one: my parents are divorced, I am an atheist while the rest are still devoted Christians with varying levels of commitment to church, my sister is married and has a whole family-in-law which has nothing to do with the rest of us. We have so many differences. But on this one day a year we all get together and exchange gifts. Our gifts say things we don’t know how to express in words. They say:

I care about you enough to know what your interests are. I know we have differences but I respect you enough to get you something you want rather than something I think you should have. I accept whoever you choose to love and bring into our family and I care about you enough to learn their interests and get them something too. I love you. It’s a difficult thing to communicate, sometimes, but here is a token of that love.

This is our Christmas peace, the grace that we extend to each other. We are no longer united by name or by faith, we were never united by aspirations or passions, but we extend acceptance and respect and warm attachment. It is wrapped in green and red paper and decorated with bows.

What really happened in the field that night...

By slave2six ~

Sadly, the Heavenly Host was lost. They were, after all, from Heaven and had no knowledge of Earthly topography.

Today was the big day and they were supposed to sing for the new child when he arrived. It was going to be a spectacular event and all of Bethlehem would be astounded.

But they were lost.

And it was getting late.

"Hey, Hend-el! You better hurry up angel! We have midnight mass duty tonight and you know we can't be late."

"Shut up. Of course I know."

"Remember when Lucifer was late and God told him he was being rebellious?"

"Yes. Now will you shut up?"

"He threw Lucifer and his entire choir out of Heaven."

"Alright already!"

Hand-el was metaphysically sweating. Golly gosh darn it, he thought.

There, in the distance. A light. Hand-el shot forward like a comet and the choir, who was also getting nervous, followed closely. Ah! People! This was good.

Hand-el showed himself.

"I say. Excuse me!"

The shepherds crapped themselves and fell to the ground.

"Good heavens! Don't do that. Do you know how much trouble I could get in? Stand up for Christ's sake."

"Who's Christ?" asked one of the shepherds.

"Ah! Well, good question. He's the savior. He was born to you this day in the city of David. We're sorta looking for him. Do you know of a place called Bethlehem my good man?"

"Yeah. It's just a couple miles thataway."

"Lovely! So, were looking for a baby, obviously."

"Wasse look like?" asked another shepherd.

"Well, just your basic baby human, I suppose," Hand-el replied.

One of the angels decided to be helpful, "Yo, Hand. He's wearing swaddling clothes. Says so in the program."

Hand-el said to the shepherds, "He's wearing swaddling clothes."

"Well," replied the first shepherd, "he would be wouldn't he? I mean swaddling is what you do to babies isn't it?"

"Hand! Tell him that the child is lying in a mangler."

"He's lying in a mangler," Hand-el offered helpfully.

"A what?"

"A mangler."

"Woss that then?"

Another angel chimed in, "Oi, Hand-el. I think it's a soft G. Manjer. No L."

"What do you mean Noel?"

"No. I mean there's no letter L in the word."

The shepherds, only able to see Hand-el, were a bit flummoxed. "Who you talking to, eh?"

"Manger!" he shouted. "Do you know what a manger is?"

"Wut? You mean the trough that the animals eat from?" asked the second shepherd. "Wass a baby doing in a manger?"

"Oh! I know this one," said the first shepherd. "Remember when Rebekka popped out her fifth brat and they was in the barn? They bunged it into a haystack to keep it warm. I bet it's something like that."

"This is taking too long. We are so getting thrown out of Heaven," murmured the other angels.

Hand-el was beside himself. He turned to the choir and was about to ball them out. His hands flew into the air and the entire choir took this as their cue. He started to say, "Will you please just shut the f..." when his hands came down and suddenly the Heavenly Host appeared to the shepherds and sang, "Glory to God in the highest..."

The original score was supposed to last thirty minutes but Hand-el, realizing his mistake and also realizing that he had to cut it short to be back worshipping God in time, cut off the song right after "good will towards men." Consequently, they never got to the part of the song that warned that anyone who decided not to take this whole thing seriously would wind up in a fiery torment.

The shepherds were dumbfounded.

The choir disappeared and bolted back to Heaven. Hand-el turned to the shepherds and said, "OK, look fellas. You just go on into Bethlehem and tell the Baby that we showed up and sang to you. Hopefully he won't smite you, or us."

And so the shepherds left their sheep, looked through every barn in town and found the baby. They had woken half of Bethlehem in the process, what with all the breaking and entering, and had to tell the same story over and over again. They looked particularly shiny, like Moses was reported to have looked when he saw God's backside, which caused people to wonder if they might not just be telling the truth, and so the shepherds avoided arrest.

They eventually found the right place. When they busted in, Joseph and Mary were snoring. They woke the baby who screamed loudly. This not only woke the parents but freaked out all the horses, donkeys and cattle in the barn. Joseph rose up and slipped on bits of the placenta that one of the cows had been eating and cursed, "Goddammit!" Fortunately, God had been constrained by having no vocabulary as a newborn.

"What do you want?" Joseph demanded.

"Oh, well," said an exhausted and rather smelly shepherd, "you see, some angels showed up and told us that the savior was born and was in a manger so we've been looking all over the place..."

Joseph looked at Mary, "Is this what' it's gonna be like? Paparazzi everywhere we go?"

"May we see the child?" asked another shepherd. Quite a few of the townsfolk were there as well.

Joseph shrugged. He picked up the child, which wasn't even his after all, and let the people gawk.

To their credit, none of the people actually recoiled in horror. Newborns aren't beautiful to anyone except the parents, after all.

And they all returned to their homes, each engaging in the same conversation that ran along the lines of, "That's the messiah? Figures."

Jews had a very keen sense of their own history.

---

Hand-el and his choir made it to midnight mass with just seconds to spare. God on his throne glanced down at Hand-el then gestured to the moondial and smiled grimly.

Message received, thought Handel. And he led the choir in a particularly sycophantic worship song, which made God happy.

What do we mean by a Primitive Belief?

By Ubi Dubium ~

Recently I was responding to a long-winded Xian commenter on a lengthy comment thread on Friendly Atheist. At the end of a really preachy comment, he finished with:

“Think about it, God abhors human sacrifice, and yet he decided to go against his own feelings and permitted the death of his only son for your salvation. Sounds like a pretty generous God to me.”

To which I replied:

“Sounds like a bunch of mythology made up by primitive humans to me.”

In the following comments on that thread he took exception to his beliefs being described as “primitive”, and there was some discussion among other commenters about the idea. But that got me to thinking about what we mean when we describe a person, or especially a belief system as “primitive”? I’d like to have a good definition worked out, so the next time I describe something like creationism as a “primitive belief” and I’m challenged on it, I’ll have a good response.

An example of why this is tricky:

In a reverse of the usual anthropological studies, six representatives from a “primitive” tribe in New Guinea visited Britain. They were not impressed with most of what they saw of modern culture, and had no interest in adopting western ways, except for two things. First, they loved the idea of adding feathers to arrows to make them fly straighter, and planned to adopt that innovation immediately. The second thing they decided to adopt?

Facebook. (http://www.salon.com/2011/10/13/the_tribesman_who_facebook_friended_me/)

So are we dealing with primitive people here or not?

We could restrict the definition of “primitive” people to those who lived a long time ago. But that’s not necessarily a help, since there were decidedly non-primitive philosophers living in Athens at the same time that Judea was full of superstitious goatherders. We could include “uneducated” in our definition, except that I’m sure ancient priests spent years studying their holy texts, and would have considered themselves educated, but I’d still probably describe many of them as “primitive”.

So maybe we should see if we can come up with a definition of a “primitive belief system” instead.

The fact that a belief is old doesn’t necessarily relegate it to being “primitive”. The beliefs that things fall when you drop them, that tigers are dangerous, and that killing members of your social group is bad are all very old ideas, but we still think they are valid. And I’d want to have a definition that we could apply to tribal superstitions, cargo cults, and long-dead religions, as well as to old institutional beliefs still held by modern people.
So how about this to start:

A “primitive belief system” includes:

1. Belief in some kind of supernatural forces actively working in the world, that substitutes confirmation bias and wishful thinking in place of concrete evidence.
2. Belief that those supernatural forces want specific things from humans.
3. Belief that those supernatural forces can be propitiated by sacrifice or ritual.

That’s my first stab at a definition, but I’d like to throw it open to discussion to refine the idea. What would you add or change?

Website: http://boldquestions.wordpress.com

Walked Away!

By Stefanie Lynn ~

Being a Christian... Just those words alone bring pain, loneliness, regret for my children and for myself. The beliefs that are pumped into you, you believe them just as a child believes in Santa Claus. Child like faith. But children don't know any better, and one day, I had to grow up and take a real look at the damage blind faith had done to my family. I was so blind.... I was angry when I opened my eyes.

I grew up with little attention. Little care. Passed onto this person then to the next. The adults in my life made up what ever lies they wanted to make it as though I was the problem as they didn't want anyone to know that they were the ones that fell short. One adult after another adding their horrible story of what ever they wanted to say. I gave up at a young age. Nobody would ever get to know me, cause everyone was to busy listening to these stories, or telling them. I would look up and ask god when I would get something in turn. Always giving myself to these stories, living alone with in myself. I lived through my drawings, and writing stories. I usually threw them away as I was greatly made fun of for being good at anything.

At age 15 to 17 I began to party. Not because I really wanted to party, but because I saw it a way to make friends and find another family. Maybe one that actually cared about me. I so needed even just one person that cared. I didn't get myself into to much trouble, although I was in situations where I could have gotten really hurt quite a bit. When I look back, it makes me mad that had I just had a real family, I never would have done those things. I didn't care to do them at the time. Just wanted to find people that cared.

At the end of my 17th year I found religion. I thought that if no one will love me, I found a god that does. And I let people know they couldn't hurt me anymore cause I had god, and he is with me and they will get it in the end. But I hoped that they would become Christian with me, cause then they would change into this nice kind loving person........ because I really believed that this religion would change people. I allowed people to walk on me, walk on my children and to hurt them and to hurt me because I really believed that doing this will save others. I was out witnessing to people thinking that because I was willing to put myself out there, for gods people and to bring them to him, it didn't matter what happened to us in this life cause the next one would be better. To stand behind a husband that only laughed at me and showed everyone I was the least important person in their life. The church always treated me the same as they did as they believe that the man is most important as the head and if he devalued anything in his life, the church did too. I was always there, always taking my children, always on my face and always giving all I had when we were barely eating at home. Always believing god would turn thing around and scared out of my mind of anything that could be evil. I wouldn't even have a dirt devil because of its name. I was afraid of things I didn't understand and if I didn't understand because the church told me its a sin to understand, then I was also afraid to learn. I was afraid to ask questions. Was afraid to that I was going to hell at any whim and began to get suicidal because I couldn't take all the fear, and back stabbing and the pain I got from the church and that I allowed others to put on me. "Christians" are the worst when it comes to judging. Cause understanding a person is not in their programing. Anything I did wrong, it was because I was a bad sinner. And anything I did right, wasn't really me, it was god through me. So I was left with all the bad and all the good was given credit to someone in the sky. I wanted to die cause I didn't want to be this bad person. I couldn't live with all the bad.

One day I opened my eyes. After years of not going to church because after starting to ask questions, I was kicked out of one then another and another. Churches don't like questions that they don't have an answer for. They always turn to "have blind faith" or "have child like faith" or "your supposed to just believe" Wow, really? A part of me still wants to believe in Santa, but I still buy my kids gifts and cover his bill cause blind faith that he will show will only hurt them! And I realized.... my blind faith, hurt my kids. I let all these people abuse them and me in life in blind faith that god would rescue us all. I have been married 3 times and I'm not even the marrying type. I thought I was going to hell if I had someone without a ring. I didn't want the ring, but was still looking for love. I chose. This is pain that will keep my son in counseling his whole life. He is 20 now. But we work hard together to get passed the things that we have gone through. My middle daughter hurts because religion made it possible for a very bitter woman to tell crazy stories about me to her. My x helped it along in higher then though ways. My youngest was very little when I started to walk away.

I was a very very angry person about the choices I made in life. If I had not had religion, I would have made very different choices. Better ones. I hated Christians, and hated anyone that had anything to do with church. A couple years later I started to feel less hateful. But it still made me angry that if anyone found out I wasn't a christian, I had the zombie Christians at me all at once. But now I could see through their fake smiles and the pretend to care. I was only one more notch they were trying to get to be closer to their god. To use me as a trophy, to say see, I turned her for us. They would say the exact same things I would always say. And they think they are the first to say it, the first to spew it to me. I never knew how meaningless these words were when I said it, till it came back at me.

Our life has been much better without Christianity. One of the first things I found out about me was that I really was a good person. I really do enjoy helping people. It wasn't god through me. It really was me. I am not afraid of the devil every time I turn around. The fear doesn't keep me up at night. I protect my family now instead of offering ourselves up in hopes that god will see our sacrifice. Some days feel normal and we have a better life, and some days we remember the pain and have to get through it. Its a process. Its like dealing with an old cult. Its hard sometimes to remember the teachings and have to remind myself why none of its true. When you give any religion control over your life, your mind.... Nothing good comes from it. And that's why I will never belong to another.

I have now moved back to my home town unwillingly. The Christian people I once knew don't yet know that I am not one. They try to be nice in my face when I come across them. But I can see the fakeness that comes with that religion. The belief that they are better because of the things my ex's have done to me and said about me. All that higher then though that people really think they are because they go to church. They don't know I have no interest in their religion, none at all in their way of life. They don't know that I am aware that they are not better then me. That I feel bad for them for being stuck in an old religion. They are the ones that really need to open their eyes. And one particular, I feel bad that she is in this line of thought because I got her to turn for the church. I feel sad that she really thinks she is better. When really, we are all the same. And now that is what I have to live with.

21 years as a Christian. That's what it took to ruin my life. I will spend the rest of my life picking up the pieces.

Website: http://leadcreatures.blogspot.com

Merry Atheist Christmas!

London’s Atheist Church, the Sunday Assembly, Goes All Out to Celebrate Its First Holiday Season

By Valerie Tarico ~

Last January, a small Sunday morning gathering in London dubbed “atheist church” by the local press went viral globally. Pippa Evans and Sanderson Jones, two British comedians, had organized the event in a decommissioned Anglican church. They called it “Sunday Assembly,” and described it “like TED for the soul.”

As Sanderson puts it, "We wanted to do something like a church for people who don't believe in God," said Sanderson. "Life is such a wonderful thing to have been given -- and frankly, it's as transcendent as any one god. We come from nothing and go to nothing and in between we have these short glazing moments of awareness and consciousness to love and sing and mess up and try again. We should celebrate it."

Pippa moved away from religion as an adult but missed the ritual and community she had experienced in her youth, while Sanderson noticed that Christmas carol concerts really brought people together and allowed us to experience a togetherness with strangers. Each individually toyed over the years with the idea of a sort-of-church, but without the focus on a supernatural world they didn’t believe in. Then a conversation between the two of them catalyzed it into existence.

Word got out, and come Sunday, January 6th 2013, the Nave, Islington was bursting at the seams. And then, afterwards, messages started pouring in from around the world: This is what I have wanted, what I’ve been looking for, what we need here. By fall, the two unexpectedly famous comedians had launched an international tour called 40 Dates and 40 Nights to help kick off similar assemblies in places ranging from Nashville to Brisbane. With the tour wrapping up, both will be back in London this week, and looking forward to their first ever Sunday Assembly holiday celebration. They’re expecting a small crowd of 400. In this interview Pippa talks about their upcoming celebration--and about the wild ride she and Sanderson have been on for the last twelve months.

As I understand it, you and Sanderson have spent the last month helping to launch Sunday Assemblies around the world. If I were a Christian I might be deeply suspicious. Here we are with “Holly Jolly Snowman” and “Little Drummer Boy” playing in every store, and you’re rallying atheists!

Pippa: The idea of Sunday Assembly is very much in keeping with the holiday spirit. Our motto is: live better, help often, wonder more. When people ask about starting an assembly in their own community, we tell them that a defining feature of Sunday Assembly is that everyone is welcome, regardless of their beliefs. We don’t believe in God, but that is just a point of departure. What comes next?

Sunday assemblies are about expressing and experiencing joy and wonder together. They are a place you can go for an hour and just focus on being alive. We celebrate the gifts of life and take time for gratitude—and, of course!—music and cake.

So you aren’t declaring “War on Christmas”?

Pippa: I love Christmas. It’s an excuse to watch Home Alone. I’ve got the boxed set, all four.

Ouch.

Pippa: Hey! The first two are pretty good. Number 4 is most painful thing I’ve watched. But it’s a tradition!

More seriously, I see holidays—any holiday, but especially this time of year—as a great excuse to stop and process and take time with loved ones, to reflect and really see what we have. We can do that with or without a religious context. I myself will go to church on Christmas Eve, to the church I grew up in. It’s the same vicar since I was a kid, and I cherish the familiarity and comfort there. For some people the Christmas story is literally true. For others like me is a beautiful myth. It’s a lovely story, and timeless. Like Noah and his ark. It’s a great story whether or not you believe literally, and even Christians are in disagreement about that. Sometimes, I wonder, in 200 years will it be like Jason and the Argonauts?

What makes it lovely for you?

Pippa: It’s about a baby being born and bringing peace. It’s about hope.

Some people would say it’s about a baby coming in to the world to be a human sacrifice.

Pippa: When I think of the nativity what I most remember is being cross that I didn’t get to be Mary. The story brings back happy memories of childhood. I don’t have a horrible religious background that makes me react badly. Doing Sun Assemblies has made me aware of how people react differently to these things. I had to go on this trip to really understand why Americans can be so prickly about religion. These issues are much more conflicted in the U.S. We spoke to people in America who can’t even say they are an atheist because they are afraid of losing their job or family. We can’t even imagine that here because the UK is so highly secular. American Atheists and the humanist associations are fighting the fight for rights and visibility for atheists and they do an amazing job. Sunday Assembly is, however, more of a celebration and if we're fighting for anything, it's for community.

So let’s talk about the community you are building. What do the holidays mean for Sunday Assemblies?

Pippa: I can’t speak in specifics for the 40 communities we visited over our 40 day tour, but all of the Sunday Assemblies are doing something. In Melbourne, for example, they’re having a celebration they’re calling Festivus, complete with Mariah Carey songs.

What is your home congregation in London doing for the holidays?

Pippa: We’re celebrating! We’re expecting about 400 people. It’s this Sunday, and we’re calling it Wonderland. We’ll be singing Christmas songs and wearing Christmas jumpers. We talked long and hard about whether we would sing Christian carols, but that would make some uncomfortable, and there are loads of places you can do that if you want, so we’ll stick with other music. “Fairy Tale of New York,” for example. Do you know it? We have to change some of the words because they’re quite rude—not very appropriate for small children. It's amazing how many songs have cheeky lyrics when you look a bit closer!

Tell me more.

Pippa: Like always, we have a band and a choir. We’ll have a speaker talking about feasting together—the history of feasting. We’ll have a poet do some poems. We’ll have a magician to entertain the kiddies. Afterwards comes the actual feasting. We sent around a sign-up sheet last time and about 60 people signed up to have Christmas dinner together at a pub. And of course we made sure there was extra room so no one would show up in the morning and end up in the cold because they didn’t know!

Who pulls this all together? You and Sanderson?

Pippa: Well, Emma runs the choir. There are twelve in the choir, and she picks the songs. Roger runs the seven person band. Carolien pulls it all together. She’s Dutch and wonderfully direct; and she makes a spreadsheet of who does what. Beth does the tea on the day. Cat and Nick organised the Christmas dinner. Plus around seven million volunteers.

Tea, not coffee? I’m from Seattle. Where’s the coffee??!

Pippa: We always have tea and cake after. As like Victoria sponge cake. Flap jacks—I think they’re like your granola bars. Cupcakes. We’re very like the Anglican Church in that regard. (laughs) People come for the free tea and cake. The tea is really nice because people stay for tea and then start talking. We have volunteers who are conversation fairies. They make sure that people who come on their own aren’t left standing awkwardly alone. You know how British people are.

The holidays also are a time for giving. The Salvation Army looks after the entire homeless community. I mean, not the whole of it, obviously, but you know what I'm saying. We should be doing that as well! So we’re doing a collection for Crisis for Christmas, a hostel for homeless people. We’ll collect you-know -- roll-on deodorant, toothbrushes, clothing, tins of food—things homeless people run out of. We’ll drop it all Monday at the depot. Also, we’ve got a mystery benefactor who has promised to match any donations for the last few days of our 40 in 40 drive. That person doubles all donations and will give an equal amount to the Against Malaria Foundation.

That sounds like the holiday spirit all right! So what comes after the holidays?

Pippa: The next London assembly is January 5. Our speaker is Alom Shaha who writes the Young Atheists Handbook.

That sounds like an ant-theist thing.

Pippa: Actually not. We make sure to tell speakers that they aren’t allowed to bash religion. He’s talking about diversity.

For the New Year, we have events scheduled through April. The first Sunday of each month is assembly. The second Sunday is community action day. We have a community action team of four people who plan the second Sunday actions. January 12 we’re going to work with Hackney Pirates, a group that helps young people who are having trouble in school. We’ll be decorating the learning room as a pirate ship.

This whole godless congregation thing has taken off so fast, I want to understand the magic a little more. Remind me how it all got started. When was the first conversation between you and Sanderson?

We’ll have a speaker talking about feasting together—the history of feasting. We’ll have a poet do some poems. We’ll have a magician to entertain the kiddies. Afterwards comes the actual feasting.Pippa: It was about two and half years ago. We were in a car going on a tour gig and we started talking about my wedding because I wanted a traditional feeling wedding but not in a church, so we got married in an old time music hall and played Beatles songs instead of hymns and it felt great. It had some of the pomposity of a wedding. (laughs) Then we talked about how we didn’t like it when comedians made fun of Christians for believing in God, and then we talked about atheist church, and one thing led to another.

Did you think it would turn into something real?

Pippa: You know how it is when you say let’s go jogging tomorrow morning? You actually have to haul your butt out of bed. Once you say it to another person, you can’t back out. We thought we get 50 people for that first meeting, and we got over 200.

Has the Sunday Assembly project taken over your life? How can you stay on top of all this and still earn a living?

Pippa: (laughs). I’m right now in Brighton doing a comedy show tonight. But I’ve spent all day emailing, sorting things out. And now I’ve been on the phone with you for 45 minutes!

It has been a thin year financially. The Indiegogo campaign will let us cover expenses and perhaps a thin wage. This year Sanderson had some ad work, but that’s not ongoing. We just have to find a way to make it sustainable, that’s all.

How has the fact you and Sanderson are comedians affected the shape of it all?

Pippa: I think a lot of the success is that we know how to put together a show on a shoestring. We can make it entertaining on the cheap because we’ve had many years of doing that. For example, the talk is 10-15 minutes. The timing is based on stand-up comedy where the perfect set, some say is 15 minutes as after that, people start to drift off. We suggest that groups forming Sunday Assemblies stick with our format for three months because we know it works. As they go along, they can decide, well in Portland we want one song and two seven-minute speakers and a singing giraffe. They can play around with it after they’ve nailed.

Sometimes people think that because we’re comedians, we’re not serious. Also, we’re both outsiders to organized atheism, so some people asked, who are these guys? Are they denying the work that the atheist community has done? Other just dismissed us: it’s two comedians being stupid. It’s nothing.

But we are both very playful and totally serious. We did a Remembrance Day assembly –for people who died in the war. It was really serious, somber in tone but still, in another sense joyful. The joy comes in really recognizing and experiencing the gift of life. It always comes back to that.

Here in London, we have a thing we do sometimes—Sanderson gets credit--where if you’re in a grump you just choose things and say thank you to no-one. Thank you road for being a place that cars can move, thank you tree for working as a carbon dump, thank you hair for behaving today. The attitude of gratitude gets your head out of that funk. It sounds ridiculous unless you try it, but it works. In the Sunday gathering we’ve done it a few times where people just speak up and express gratefulness for whatever and to whatever.

What is your big dream?

Pippa: When we started I was thinking just in terms of London. It hadn’t crossed my mind that global would be coming, let alone so soon. But seeing the response, and what is possible, my dream has changed. I would love for there to be hundreds of Sunday assemblies (and other godless congregations). My dream is that everybody who wants one has a place where they can go and reflect and think, a place of positivity and encouragement, where they can express wonder and joy, not just in the holiday season but all year long.

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Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light and Deas and Other Imaginings, and the founder of www.WisdomCommons.org. Subscribe to her articles at Awaypoint.Wordpress.com.

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