By Susan G. Bonella ~ M y husband and I were bouncing conspicuously through the dessert in a camouflage jeep. We were quickly approaching the barricade of armed soldiers ahead of us. As they moved into a defensive array, my husband and I gave each other a knowing look; I would do the talking and he would stay back in his threateningly masculine form until our identity was confirmed and our purpose was understood. We were there to pray, and people on the inside knew us from the underground church that we began. We certainly wouldn’t be shot, and our children were secure back at the safe house where they taught Jesus to the other children on this long missionary journey among strangers. It was my greatest hope as a mother that our children would grow up to become trained missionaries with an excellent knowledge of the bible. Such were the collective dreams of our fundamental family. We would leave the possibility of the kids going to college behind, rip them away from the rest of...

By Susan G. Bonella ~ E mpathy plays an important role in humanity. It can identify someone who is hurting or simply create a platform for peaceable relationships. It requires a certain level of intelligence, but we can see the process of empathy in the face of a small child who watches her friend’s pistachio ice cream fall to the ground and says, “I hate it when that happens.” It doesn’t matter if the child hates pistachio and would have chosen chocolate for herself; she still feels empathy for her friend because she knows what it’s like to have something she wanted and then lost. When I was a child I practiced empathy pretty well in school and with neighborhood friends. My class and I swarmed the first wheel-chair using kid to enter our tiny school and let him know he was welcome. We swarmed the first black girl to ever enter our tiny white neighborhood school and showered her with hair compliments and friendship. When someone cried, we were on it. When someone was absent, we ...

By Susan G. Bonella ~ B eliefs that lead to positive actions are commendable. “Don’t thank me; thank God” is a common phrase among kindhearted friends. It’s a reflection of their love for their god and the beliefs that keep them going. That the sentence is in the form of a command is a little hard for me to digest and even harder for me to form a response. Perhaps I could respond with “And I thank you for your free-will decision”. Given the general consensus that God doesn’t interfere with free will, making the choice to be thoughtful solely at the believer’s discretion, my response ought not be offensive. Whether or not the giver is trying to prompt me to acknowledge “God”, I recognize that the generosity really comes from the individual, and so I refrain from any discussion of opposing beliefs. I can’t imagine speaking the command, “Don’t thank me; thank humanity” when giving a generous gift. Not only does it sound pompous, but it would most likely make a religious person for...