By Rudy -- W hy do I read and write about atheism every day? Why do I love to find and collect bible verses that demonstrate that the character God is a sadistic, murdering, baby killing, slave promoting, misogynistic, and jealous jerk? Why do I spend hours every day on the computer reading and posting atheistic content, much to the chagrin of my wife and consternation of my non-atheist Face book friends? Image via Wikipedia I think it is because I am still unconsciously afraid of Hell. I do not consciously believe in Hell, but I must still be unconsciously shivering in my boots about Hell; otherwise I would not need, want, and love to devour anti-theist readings. It is my passion. It is my drug. I compare myself to a rocket trying to get out of the powerful gravitational pull of the planet religion. Every time I feel I have reached an easy cruising orbit, I feel like I am falling back down and I need another rocket boost of heretic heathen literature. When will I ever be in or...

By Rudy -- R ecently I have been reflecting on the difference between me as a not-yet-deprogrammed atheist for 35 years and me as an almost deprogrammed atheist. I first became an atheist in 1975 after studying evolution in college. I kept my beliefs to myself, although if anyone asked, I would admit that I was atheist. I never read any books about atheism and I never learned much more about my atheism, until recently. Image by ~C4Chaos via Flickr As a not-yet-deprogrammed atheist, I was not upset by religion. I could easily go to church for a friend or relative without any negative emotions. In fact, after having two sons, I joined my wife's Catholic Church so that we could be together as a family and my sons would get training in "morals." However, just about the time the priest pedophile scandal started to gain visibility, I started to have feelings of disgust about priests and going to church. I continued going to church until my sons grew up and I found out t...

By Rudy -- D ear Atheism, Why am I so joyfully obsessed with you? Why do I consider the highlights of my day to be when I check my Facebook (FB) notifications? Why do I write a letter to you as if you were a being with which to communicate? Image by yorkville via Flickr Is it because I need something to replace my Christian God? How can someone be so happy that something doesn’t exist? I have an atheist friend who does not care much about you. You are not a topic of much interest to him. He knows you are his but he is not obsessed with you. How can he get on with his life without making you the centerpiece of his life? I suspect that atheists like this who were raised by atheist parents have no need to spend much thought on you because they are not bound to Christianity by pangs of fear and guilt. For me, though, you have replaced Christianity, which was my life’s purpose at one time. Maybe I am replacing one life’s purpose with another. Before, I was on a mission to conver...

By Rudy -- T his is my ex-Christian story. My parents were both raised in very religious protestant farming families in Iowa. I was born in 1957 while they were attending Los Angeles Chiropractic College. We attended the church in which my parents were raised. This church was called Christian Conventions, but if you asked a member what the name of their church was, they would say they did not have a name. However, they would gladly refer you to one of their missionaries, called workers, who could explain the religion to you. In fact, I did not even know their name until I recently Googled them based on their hymnal. Christian Convention members claim their religion does not need a name because they were the original and only Christians. Christian Conventions members believe that they are the only people going to heaven because only they follow the Bible precisely. During their Sunday worship at members’ houses, the members sang hymns off key, without a leader or a piano. They took ...