By American Apostate ~
I must first start off by saying how grateful I am that this forum exists. I have been encouraged by the fact that I am not alone in this very personal journey. The fear, anxiety, and loneliness that accompanies walking away from a religion you've had your whole life can be overwhelming at times. It is during those times I have come here for encouragement, and keep the fear at bay.I have read many, many stories here, and now I feel confident enough to share mine.
I was six years old when I first prayed the sinner's prayer. My family are Christians, so I became one too as soon as I understood that I was going to go to hell if I didn't accept Jesus into my heart. Seriously. That's what prompted me to do so that first time. I was taken to see this evangelical drama designed to "win souls" for the Lord. It was called, "Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames." It was basically an anthology of stories featuring people discussing Christian Theology right before they died. Unlikely, yes, but it got the point across. Some people went to heaven to be with Jesus and others were dragged to hell kicking and screaming. Imagine a young first grader sitting there, watching this. It was absolutely terrifying. I remember sitting in that pew, curling my knees to my chest, shaking, praying desperately to Jesus, begging that he wouldn't send me to hell. And that was the start of my Christian experience.
As I got older, I had some trouble dealing with stress at school. Also,my hormones were out of wack and I was frequently depressed and I went through a rebellion phase, as many 14&15 year olds do. I still went to church, but not as much. My parents weren't sure how to deal with my getting into trouble and my bouts of depression, so they sent me to therapy. The Therapist put me on medication, and that's when things got worse. I suddenly had thoughts of suicide and obsessed with harming myself. After being sent to the mental hospital when I got caught at school cutting myself in the bathroom, my therapist decided to take me off the medication. My condition immediately improved. The suicidal, self harming thoughts were gone but I still felt very lost and in a fog of confusion. Teenage hormones have a way of producing that lost, foggy feeling....but I didn't know that. I needed a refuge, a place of peace amidst the chaos in my life. So I turned back to God.
I went to Bible college and decided I was going to be a pastor. It was there that things started... I went to this Baptist Tent Revival in town, and that was where I was told that Jesus loved me, and he wanted me to love him back. I was told that he didn't want to send me to hell, but that he wanted a personal relationship with me. It was that moment that I truly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. I felt very peaceful and very happy for the first time in a very long time. I felt like I truly had the answer to every problem in my life: Jesus. I immersed myself into hard-core Christianity. I was a complete, total Jesus Freak. I went to Bible college and decided I was going to be a pastor. It was there that things started to get a little strange for me. I took several theology courses and I started to see some strange inconsistencies in the Bible. My theology stated that God is a loving, merciful God, and never changes. But He also committed mass genocide and had His people do the same. The God of the Old Testament, Yahweh, was angry and violent. I was taught that this was the same God who incarnated himself as Jesus and died on the cross for our sins because he loved us. Logically, it didn't add up. God incarnated himself....to make a blood sacrifice....to himself.....to appease himself....because we are a flawed creation and He is so Holy and just. Okay. I did some mental backbends to reconcile this, as I was always instructed not to think too deeply about it,lest I "reason my way away from God". Yeah. People told me that. I noticed other believers got really uncomfortable when I asked too many questions. They told me to just pray and let the Holy Spirit reveal the answers to me whenever I asked super hard questions. Questions like, how did Noah fit 100 million species of animals on his ark, and how did he take care of 12 tons of feces a day, and what did everyone eat for a whole year? Why did God destroy Sodom and Gomorrah for sexual immorality, yet immediately afterward, Lot's two daughters got him drunk and raped him....not once, but twice (Genesis 19:30-36)...why was God completely silent about it? I searched for answers, prayed, and got nothing.
So, with doubt's creeping in, I plunged deeper into ministry and church, accepting a Youth Pastor job at a small church. O figured the doubt's were from the devil and the only way to get rid of them was to push harder spiritually. So That's what I did. After a couple years, I got fired from the youth pastor job, because the pastor's wife accused me of looking at pornography on the church computer. That was absurd, because I never was interested in pornography back then, and even if I was I would have used my own computer, not the church computer, duh. I was later vindicated when the pastor's daughter confessed that she was the one, not me. I was still heartbroken from the ordeal and left that church anyway. I continued seeking after God and was active in ministry for several more years, but similar situations kept arising. I was always under the thumb of a controlling pastor and something would happen where I would get really hurt. Burned out, frustrated, and sick of ministry, I just quit.
Lately, I have been revisiting my doubts,and I have been immersing myself in my real passion, science. I always had an aptitude for it and I love reading research papers and watching the science channel. I have given serious thought to the problems Christian theology has, and I have decided to walk away from Christianity completely. I still have faith in God, but I find myself clinging very hard to this faith, but I don't know why. I struggle with fear and anxiety from time to time, and that may be part of it. Letting go of a faith I've had my whole life is very difficult. I think back on the pain this religion has caused me and that makes it a little easier. In the end, common sense and rationality tends to win over everything. I figure that of God is real, all the things I have been told about Him is a lie and he's not going to be angry at me for waking away from this religion. He wouldn't want me to be so afraid all the time and cling hard to something that makes no sense. These thoughts put my mind at ease when I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from a nightmare of burning in hell for being an apostate. Hopefully over time, all of these fears will fade and I can continue living my life to the fullest, religion free, faithful, or faithless.
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Sunday, May 31, 2015
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Living by Faith: Always the WRONG Things to Do
By Ben Love ~
This is straight from the New Testament, words penned by Paul in one of his letters to the Corinthians. To be quite blunt, this might be the most incoherent statement I’ve ever heard. On the surface, it sounds profound and admirable, but some light dissection quickly reveals that there is actually nothing under the surface except hot air.
“We don’t live by sight.” What does this mean, exactly? I think the implication is that “sight” in this instance really refers to our collective five senses. Or perhaps a more accurate interpretation would be to say that “sight” refers to the natural world, and living by faith, then, refers to depending on the unseen or supernatural world (this existence of which you as a believer are taking for granted). Question: how do you not live by your senses? Name one activity that you do on a daily basis that does not depend solely upon that which you can smell, taste, touch, hear, and see.
“Thoughts,” you say.
Wrong. Thoughts are the product of human brains and are therefore still in the realm of the natural world.
“Prayer,” the Christian says.
Ah, but prayer, whether it is verbal or nonverbal, is still a process that is taking place in your physical brain. Synapses are transferring “thoughts” through the cells of your brain. These thoughts might be “addressed to God” (whoever or whatever that means to you personally), but prayer is still a physical process occurring in the natural world. Whether or not these prayerful thoughts punch through to some unproven spiritual realm is mere conjecture at best. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. In either case, you are still living your life in the natural world even as you pray.
Moreover, have you ever seen a Christian tie a blindfold over his eyes and then drive to work? Have you ever seen one walk into traffic without looking both ways first? When was the last time a Christian just threw caution to the wind and drank poison? If there was an atheist solider and a Christian solider in World War II, and both were standing next to a foxhole, and a shell was about to explode nearby, would only the atheist jump into the foxhole or would the Christian do so as well? I’m pretty sure that Christian would have his ass in the foxhole just as quick as the atheist would. What does it mean, then, to live by faith? Does faith only apply when you’re in need of a parking spot or when you’re trying to find a lost item? One would think that “living” by faith means absolutely nothing about your life depends on the natural world. Okay, well, show me one Christian whose entire life is not totally dependent on the natural world.
Better yet, how about I demonstrate an occasion where two Christians attempted to live by faith rather than by a dependence on the natural world, an attempt that backfired and resulted in tragedy. I recently heard of another case in the media about a couple who refused to take their infant to the hospital to get treatment. The baby was, apparently, very ill. But rather than put their trust “in men” (the natural world), the parents chose to put their trust “in God.”
Big surprise: the baby died.
What are the curious spectators to make of this? The parents were Christians. They were clearly demonstrating their faith in God. Their faith was clearly translating into action. And their action was...not rewarded. It’s not as though God, if he is who the Christians say he is, didn’t hear their prayer. And it’s not as though he didn’t want to answer it (I mean, does God want to let children die?). Further, the media was watching this case, and through the media, the whole world was watching this case. God had a chance to live up to his “reputation” and show the world that trusting him, that living by faith is the way to go.
But...big surprise: the baby died. As it turns out, the parents stood a better chance trusting in men (or, living by sight) rather than in God (living by faith). Had they trusted in men, the baby would most likely not be dead right now. As it is, these parents attempted to live by faith, and it resulted in the death of their child.
I submitted this question to two very good friends of mine, both of them solid believers, both “men of God,” as it were. The first man said that God chose not to answer this prayer because he doesn’t respond to such an ultimatum. What he meant, I think, is that the Christian God apparently doesn’t like being pushed into a corner with a life or death request. Personally, I think that if this God is accessible for the small stuff but is reluctant to address the more important stuff, he not only fails to live up to his own alleged description of himself, but he also shows himself to be, well, useless. Also, one has to wonder why faith, when it is demonstrated in a matter that involves life or death, would irk God. Isn’t that kind of faith exactly the type he supposedly wants to see demonstrated by those who believe in him?
The second man took a different route. He said that it was foolish of the parents to interpret “living by faith, not by sight” as a useful axiom for this situation. “Living by faith,” he said, “applies only to a degree. At some point, when it is a matter like the health of your baby, parents ought to do the right thing. They cannot expect God to answer that prayer because he has already done so through modern medicine, which they should have trusted.” This, to me, raises more concerns than the first man’s response. Living by faith is only practical and applicable up to a degree? Okay, but where is that line drawn? Who gets to draw it? Furthermore, if living by faith isn’t useful for something as important as the life or death of your baby, why “live” by it at all? Also, shouldn’t this also cause us to revisit the definition of “living by sight?” Is it only “living by sight” when the matter is trivial, or does “living by sight” apply to any example of a person trusting human intelligence (the natural world) rather than the providence of God? It would seem to me that either a human being lives by faith and that this theoretically reaches into every aspect of his life, or he is living by sight, by his senses, by his own intelligence and that of his species (the natural world). Besides, I cannot help but feel there is an unjust double standard floating around here. The Christian professes to live by faith up to a certain point, or up to a certain “degree,” as my friend put it, but he is excused from doing so when the going gets tough? In other words, he is saying this: “If it is a matter of life or death, trust in human medicine. Otherwise, look to God.” I see a problem here. Oh, and one more thing. It is interesting that my Christian friend differentiated between “living by faith” and “doing the right thing.”
Without beating a dead horse, let us continue to press this point. Seriously, why do these faith babies die every time? Every time. Why? As I see it, we have three options:
Of those three, only one option does not create painful and horrible questions for faith, because that option totally rejects faith. The conclusion must be that living by sight, by our senses, and depending on the natural world is the only sane way to approach life. If living by sight is the right thing to do when death is on the line, then it is always the right thing to do. Living by faith, then, no matter how admirable, how noble, or how inspirational it might be, is always the wrong thing to do.
And yet the Bible says that without faith you cannot please God. Think about that. Really, truly think about that. Without faith, you cannot please God. Period. This God must therefore be as incoherent as the idea of living by faith is. And guess what, he is. There may very well be a “God” out there, but it is not this mess of a flawed deity offered up by the errant pages of the Christian Bible.
hereticforum.weebly.com
“We live by faith, not by sight.”
This is straight from the New Testament, words penned by Paul in one of his letters to the Corinthians. To be quite blunt, this might be the most incoherent statement I’ve ever heard. On the surface, it sounds profound and admirable, but some light dissection quickly reveals that there is actually nothing under the surface except hot air.
“We don’t live by sight.” What does this mean, exactly? I think the implication is that “sight” in this instance really refers to our collective five senses. Or perhaps a more accurate interpretation would be to say that “sight” refers to the natural world, and living by faith, then, refers to depending on the unseen or supernatural world (this existence of which you as a believer are taking for granted). Question: how do you not live by your senses? Name one activity that you do on a daily basis that does not depend solely upon that which you can smell, taste, touch, hear, and see.
“Thoughts,” you say.
Wrong. Thoughts are the product of human brains and are therefore still in the realm of the natural world.
“Prayer,” the Christian says.
Ah, but prayer, whether it is verbal or nonverbal, is still a process that is taking place in your physical brain. Synapses are transferring “thoughts” through the cells of your brain. These thoughts might be “addressed to God” (whoever or whatever that means to you personally), but prayer is still a physical process occurring in the natural world. Whether or not these prayerful thoughts punch through to some unproven spiritual realm is mere conjecture at best. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. In either case, you are still living your life in the natural world even as you pray.
Moreover, have you ever seen a Christian tie a blindfold over his eyes and then drive to work? Have you ever seen one walk into traffic without looking both ways first? When was the last time a Christian just threw caution to the wind and drank poison? If there was an atheist solider and a Christian solider in World War II, and both were standing next to a foxhole, and a shell was about to explode nearby, would only the atheist jump into the foxhole or would the Christian do so as well? I’m pretty sure that Christian would have his ass in the foxhole just as quick as the atheist would. What does it mean, then, to live by faith? Does faith only apply when you’re in need of a parking spot or when you’re trying to find a lost item? One would think that “living” by faith means absolutely nothing about your life depends on the natural world. Okay, well, show me one Christian whose entire life is not totally dependent on the natural world.
Better yet, how about I demonstrate an occasion where two Christians attempted to live by faith rather than by a dependence on the natural world, an attempt that backfired and resulted in tragedy. I recently heard of another case in the media about a couple who refused to take their infant to the hospital to get treatment. The baby was, apparently, very ill. But rather than put their trust “in men” (the natural world), the parents chose to put their trust “in God.”
Big surprise: the baby died.
What are the curious spectators to make of this? The parents were Christians. They were clearly demonstrating their faith in God. Their faith was clearly translating into action. And their action was...not rewarded. It’s not as though God, if he is who the Christians say he is, didn’t hear their prayer. And it’s not as though he didn’t want to answer it (I mean, does God want to let children die?). Further, the media was watching this case, and through the media, the whole world was watching this case. God had a chance to live up to his “reputation” and show the world that trusting him, that living by faith is the way to go.
But...big surprise: the baby died. As it turns out, the parents stood a better chance trusting in men (or, living by sight) rather than in God (living by faith). Had they trusted in men, the baby would most likely not be dead right now. As it is, these parents attempted to live by faith, and it resulted in the death of their child.
I submitted this question to two very good friends of mine, both of them solid believers, both “men of God,” as it were. The first man said that God chose not to answer this prayer because he doesn’t respond to such an ultimatum. What he meant, I think, is that the Christian God apparently doesn’t like being pushed into a corner with a life or death request. Personally, I think that if this God is accessible for the small stuff but is reluctant to address the more important stuff, he not only fails to live up to his own alleged description of himself, but he also shows himself to be, well, useless. Also, one has to wonder why faith, when it is demonstrated in a matter that involves life or death, would irk God. Isn’t that kind of faith exactly the type he supposedly wants to see demonstrated by those who believe in him?
The second man took a different route. He said that it was foolish of the parents to interpret “living by faith, not by sight” as a useful axiom for this situation. “Living by faith,” he said, “applies only to a degree. At some point, when it is a matter like the health of your baby, parents ought to do the right thing. They cannot expect God to answer that prayer because he has already done so through modern medicine, which they should have trusted.” This, to me, raises more concerns than the first man’s response. Living by faith is only practical and applicable up to a degree? Okay, but where is that line drawn? Who gets to draw it? Furthermore, if living by faith isn’t useful for something as important as the life or death of your baby, why “live” by it at all? Also, shouldn’t this also cause us to revisit the definition of “living by sight?” Is it only “living by sight” when the matter is trivial, or does “living by sight” apply to any example of a person trusting human intelligence (the natural world) rather than the providence of God? It would seem to me that either a human being lives by faith and that this theoretically reaches into every aspect of his life, or he is living by sight, by his senses, by his own intelligence and that of his species (the natural world). Besides, I cannot help but feel there is an unjust double standard floating around here. The Christian professes to live by faith up to a certain point, or up to a certain “degree,” as my friend put it, but he is excused from doing so when the going gets tough? In other words, he is saying this: “If it is a matter of life or death, trust in human medicine. Otherwise, look to God.” I see a problem here. Oh, and one more thing. It is interesting that my Christian friend differentiated between “living by faith” and “doing the right thing.”
Without beating a dead horse, let us continue to press this point. Seriously, why do these faith babies die every time? Every time. Why? As I see it, we have three options:
- God exists, but did not want to save the baby
- God exists, but was unable to save the baby
- God doesn’t exist
Of those three, only one option does not create painful and horrible questions for faith, because that option totally rejects faith. The conclusion must be that living by sight, by our senses, and depending on the natural world is the only sane way to approach life. If living by sight is the right thing to do when death is on the line, then it is always the right thing to do. Living by faith, then, no matter how admirable, how noble, or how inspirational it might be, is always the wrong thing to do.
And yet the Bible says that without faith you cannot please God. Think about that. Really, truly think about that. Without faith, you cannot please God. Period. This God must therefore be as incoherent as the idea of living by faith is. And guess what, he is. There may very well be a “God” out there, but it is not this mess of a flawed deity offered up by the errant pages of the Christian Bible.
hereticforum.weebly.com
Too Good to be True
By Carl S. ~
A fascinating offer came in the mail yesterday. The Trust Insurance Company, whose motto is: "Trust works both ways," offers a policy that really is different. (They claim to have 6.72 million satisfied subscribers.) Here's the contract: For the sum of twenty dollars per month and as long as my payments are made monthly, they will assure me of complete happiness for the remainder of my life. "Complete happiness" is defined in the contract as: "freedom from physical and emotional stress and all suffering, including pain, worry, and anxiety as resulting from or pertaining to natural causes." This contract would become effective "the first of the month following receipt of the initial payment." In the included brochure, this policy is described by personal endorsers as "heavenly." Question. In What way do you think I should handle this offer? What should be my next step?
There is something familiar about The Trust Insurance Company: I am already approached by organization representatives who are competing for my "soul," offering their contracts, so "it" must mean some kind of sales advantage to them, signing me up.
"Soul." What does it mean? You'd think that defining a word constantly used from the pulpits and stages, with such powerful emotional responses, would be so... obvious. We could say that the word soul has more power than the name God, for without a definition of soul, God, gods, spirits, and spiritual, likewise will fall under the category of... "Well, you know what I mean, okay?" Soul is a big money-maker. Consider soul food, soul music, soul mate, soul-stirring entertainment, soul saving self-help books, and the coffers of the soul saving hawkers, aka, clergy.
How do you go about proving a soul "really" exists, when "explanations" don't prove anything? Well, one man invented an apparatus to measure the weight of a soul. He connected a scale to a deathbed. When people died, he compared each person's weight before and after death. It turned out that the loss of weight due to the "departure" of the soul was essentially the same as a human fart. (This experiment has not been used to determine the soul-weight of a chimp, gorilla, nor the (believed by some) "eternal" soul of a pet.) And now that that’s settled...
The habitat of the soul? Where does the soul of an animal or vegetable, germ, bacteria, etc., live? Every human claims it's in a body, except for Thomas Aquinas, who claimed that the human body actually lived in the soul, and he knew that, right? Is it everywhere in a body? What if one loses a toe, appendix, or gall bladder; does one lose part of one's soul each time? Some say the soul/self is in the heart or brain. Ancient scripture writers spoke of the bowels of God, and of the human soul being located in the gonads. (I wonder where they got that from. Does the soul produce both sperm and egg?)
When I asked, "What do you mean by soul?" one believer said, "Essence." I think Essence is an Afro-American magazine, speaking black soul rhetoric. Could it be a perfume containing the "odor of sanctity" smelled by Catholics near one of their many saints? Maybe she believed her own unique “essence" existed before her birth, from eternity (yes, some people do have that belief), before she became a conscious person, and she's hoping to get back to that state again?
Now this is where I have a problem with soul. What good is entity without consciousness? Doesn’t “essence" describe a rock or iceberg or vapor, using that description? Let's be honest. We are talking babble, as when Hindu scriptures define the godhead as "isness" or "suchness," or as the wafer-into-Christ as "transubstantiation." But the self has never been proven to be separate from the brain and the body; the evidence is there. Back to the beginning. So what's a soul?
Doesn't "essence" mean something devoid of personality, character, incapable of change, without intelligence - that is, without attributes requiring a physical body? It makes sense, which is one reason why no true believer would agree with it. The abilities of seeing, hearing, choosing, and changing, understanding, character, and especially memories, are all attributed, by believers, to souls without bodies to experience or remember them!
You can confirm this unthinking belief for yourself. Go into any funeral parlor and listen to the believers in attendance. They will be talking about their experiences with the deceased in life as he/she lived coherently and aware. No one mentions the time when they first noticed that the person's soul began to leave, in an Alzheimer's or dementia state. Instead, true believers will say, "We will greet each other in Heaven," when in reality they, a.k.a., the "we," will be in the same state as the deceased!
On that subject, this reminds me of something Woody Allen said, "I don't mind dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens." I think of all the time I spent with people I've known who became victims of dementia or Alzheimer’s diseases. Or of the neighbor who died recently, in his 50's. In the hospital, his nurse spoke to him, turned her back, and turned around to find he had died. Were any of them, "there” when they died?
Perhaps primitive humans had to believe in or cling to the hope of a soul lasting beyond death, and found solace in that belief. After all, the need for self-preservation is in all sentient beings, not just humans. But humans, via their imaginations, think themselves exempt from an obvious law of nature. They desperately fear non-existence, and came to make their "souls," via their self-projected gods, equally immortal by osmosis with them. Why - there must be spirits controlling things, disembodied and knowing the unknowable, in control of the universe, just like our minds have learned to control our selves and surroundings, right?
In spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the mighty spirit belief is still with us. There is still "God and gods, ancestor spirits, and ghosts." There are still the primitive body/soul, good/evil, temporal/eternal dichotomies hanging around. In spite of the fact that humans have been "playing God” for centuries now, people still believe in a god-essence, and believe in the god experts selling that hope of an eternal life of bliss. But aren't those believers buying a placebo against returning to the non-existence from which we all come? Isn't "redemptional saving" just another word for "selling?"
We have arrived at a place in our history where survival and a short life are not our primary concerns. Kings never lived as well as we do, with hundreds of years of accumulated music, arts, and the acquired wisdom available at our fingertips we take for granted. We also take for granted sanitation, inoculations, indoor plumbing, central heating, air conditioning, disease- free food, etc. There are pension plans and elder care available to us. Obviously, these life benefits are not enough for believers. They amass stuff on Earth; some buy into to the prosperity gospel movement. They want the good stuff now as well as after they die.
When I consider belief in an eternal soul with an eternal future, I am joyful to have a mortal soul. I enjoy the contradiction which is, "Oh! it hurts so good!" Who wants to live an existence without that, without grief, without continual discoveries, or anger over injustice, ignorance, stupidity? Without disappointments? One really needs to experience reconciliations, have the freedom to make mistakes, and the body/mind/conscious awareness, i.e., to be oneself. Existence without them; forever? Far from hopeful, that's depressing.
By the way, another interesting offer came in the mail today. This company's president assures me that if I sign a contract with him, anything I ask for in his name will be given to me! Anything. I've not read the small print in the contract, but, if I were a true believer, I would have the faith to know that if it's much too good to be true,... it's true.
A fascinating offer came in the mail yesterday. The Trust Insurance Company, whose motto is: "Trust works both ways," offers a policy that really is different. (They claim to have 6.72 million satisfied subscribers.) Here's the contract: For the sum of twenty dollars per month and as long as my payments are made monthly, they will assure me of complete happiness for the remainder of my life. "Complete happiness" is defined in the contract as: "freedom from physical and emotional stress and all suffering, including pain, worry, and anxiety as resulting from or pertaining to natural causes." This contract would become effective "the first of the month following receipt of the initial payment." In the included brochure, this policy is described by personal endorsers as "heavenly." Question. In What way do you think I should handle this offer? What should be my next step?
There is something familiar about The Trust Insurance Company: I am already approached by organization representatives who are competing for my "soul," offering their contracts, so "it" must mean some kind of sales advantage to them, signing me up.
"Soul." What does it mean? You'd think that defining a word constantly used from the pulpits and stages, with such powerful emotional responses, would be so... obvious. We could say that the word soul has more power than the name God, for without a definition of soul, God, gods, spirits, and spiritual, likewise will fall under the category of... "Well, you know what I mean, okay?" Soul is a big money-maker. Consider soul food, soul music, soul mate, soul-stirring entertainment, soul saving self-help books, and the coffers of the soul saving hawkers, aka, clergy.
How do you go about proving a soul "really" exists, when "explanations" don't prove anything? Well, one man invented an apparatus to measure the weight of a soul. He connected a scale to a deathbed. When people died, he compared each person's weight before and after death. It turned out that the loss of weight due to the "departure" of the soul was essentially the same as a human fart. (This experiment has not been used to determine the soul-weight of a chimp, gorilla, nor the (believed by some) "eternal" soul of a pet.) And now that that’s settled...
The habitat of the soul? Where does the soul of an animal or vegetable, germ, bacteria, etc., live? Every human claims it's in a body, except for Thomas Aquinas, who claimed that the human body actually lived in the soul, and he knew that, right? Is it everywhere in a body? What if one loses a toe, appendix, or gall bladder; does one lose part of one's soul each time? Some say the soul/self is in the heart or brain. Ancient scripture writers spoke of the bowels of God, and of the human soul being located in the gonads. (I wonder where they got that from. Does the soul produce both sperm and egg?)
When I asked, "What do you mean by soul?" one believer said, "Essence." I think Essence is an Afro-American magazine, speaking black soul rhetoric. Could it be a perfume containing the "odor of sanctity" smelled by Catholics near one of their many saints? Maybe she believed her own unique “essence" existed before her birth, from eternity (yes, some people do have that belief), before she became a conscious person, and she's hoping to get back to that state again?
Now this is where I have a problem with soul. What good is entity without consciousness? Doesn’t “essence" describe a rock or iceberg or vapor, using that description? Let's be honest. We are talking babble, as when Hindu scriptures define the godhead as "isness" or "suchness," or as the wafer-into-Christ as "transubstantiation." But the self has never been proven to be separate from the brain and the body; the evidence is there. Back to the beginning. So what's a soul?
Doesn't "essence" mean something devoid of personality, character, incapable of change, without intelligence - that is, without attributes requiring a physical body? It makes sense, which is one reason why no true believer would agree with it. The abilities of seeing, hearing, choosing, and changing, understanding, character, and especially memories, are all attributed, by believers, to souls without bodies to experience or remember them!
You can confirm this unthinking belief for yourself. Go into any funeral parlor and listen to the believers in attendance. They will be talking about their experiences with the deceased in life as he/she lived coherently and aware. No one mentions the time when they first noticed that the person's soul began to leave, in an Alzheimer's or dementia state. Instead, true believers will say, "We will greet each other in Heaven," when in reality they, a.k.a., the "we," will be in the same state as the deceased!
On that subject, this reminds me of something Woody Allen said, "I don't mind dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens." I think of all the time I spent with people I've known who became victims of dementia or Alzheimer’s diseases. Or of the neighbor who died recently, in his 50's. In the hospital, his nurse spoke to him, turned her back, and turned around to find he had died. Were any of them, "there” when they died?
Perhaps primitive humans had to believe in or cling to the hope of a soul lasting beyond death, and found solace in that belief. After all, the need for self-preservation is in all sentient beings, not just humans. But humans, via their imaginations, think themselves exempt from an obvious law of nature. They desperately fear non-existence, and came to make their "souls," via their self-projected gods, equally immortal by osmosis with them. Why - there must be spirits controlling things, disembodied and knowing the unknowable, in control of the universe, just like our minds have learned to control our selves and surroundings, right?
In spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the mighty spirit belief is still with us. There is still "God and gods, ancestor spirits, and ghosts." There are still the primitive body/soul, good/evil, temporal/eternal dichotomies hanging around. In spite of the fact that humans have been "playing God” for centuries now, people still believe in a god-essence, and believe in the god experts selling that hope of an eternal life of bliss. But aren't those believers buying a placebo against returning to the non-existence from which we all come? Isn't "redemptional saving" just another word for "selling?"
We have arrived at a place in our history where survival and a short life are not our primary concerns. Kings never lived as well as we do, with hundreds of years of accumulated music, arts, and the acquired wisdom available at our fingertips we take for granted. We also take for granted sanitation, inoculations, indoor plumbing, central heating, air conditioning, disease- free food, etc. There are pension plans and elder care available to us. Obviously, these life benefits are not enough for believers. They amass stuff on Earth; some buy into to the prosperity gospel movement. They want the good stuff now as well as after they die.
When I consider belief in an eternal soul with an eternal future, I am joyful to have a mortal soul. I enjoy the contradiction which is, "Oh! it hurts so good!" Who wants to live an existence without that, without grief, without continual discoveries, or anger over injustice, ignorance, stupidity? Without disappointments? One really needs to experience reconciliations, have the freedom to make mistakes, and the body/mind/conscious awareness, i.e., to be oneself. Existence without them; forever? Far from hopeful, that's depressing.
By the way, another interesting offer came in the mail today. This company's president assures me that if I sign a contract with him, anything I ask for in his name will be given to me! Anything. I've not read the small print in the contract, but, if I were a true believer, I would have the faith to know that if it's much too good to be true,... it's true.
Now My Eyes Are Open
By WidePathGirl ~
I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian family, we went to church twice every Sunday, once every Wednesday, and every night of Revival which was usually held in the Spring and would last from 6 pm until midnight or later. In the summer while all my friends were going to exotic locations and theme parks for vacation I went to 2 weeks of church camp where we attended service 3 times a day. Growing up I could not wear shorts, a 2 piece bathing suit, go to school dances, any movies other than rated G. I could not watch all the fun television shows my friends at school watched, we only watched Little House and the Waltons, Hee Haw, Lawrence Welk, etc. Oh and every Sunday before church we watched the church shows. If I said "gee" or "heck" I'd get beaten.
On Sundays I could not go to the movies, swim, fish, or buy and sell anything, or "work". I was not allowed to play school sports or attend most school functions. We prayed before every meal and every night before bed.
At church we were taught that the pastor was the same as God, his wife was next in line. NO ONE did anything unless he sanctioned it. If he disapproved of something he would preach about it in church then everyone would suddenly stop trick or treating or having jack-o lanterns on Halloween because it was "evil". My church believed in demons, if you were stricken with cancer or some other horrible illness they taught that you had probably sinned and this was your punishment. Repent and you'd be healed! If you had a mental illness then you had a demon. You were not allowed to seek mental health, you were to speak to the pastor instead.
I'll never forget when I was around ten years old the pastor's wife decided to teach us in Sunday School the book of Revelations. I've never been so terrified in my life. She spared no details in telling us how if we weren't "saved" we'd be thrown into hell and be ravaged by demons, burning for eternity. She told us all about the Anti-Christ, how he was already here and he'd make us all have #'s tattooed on our foreheads, etc etc etc.
I grew up alternating between hating church and being too terrified not to worship God, I was always told he'd strike me down, that he saw everything. To this day I get scared if I curse him, like a bolt of lightening will zap me. I know it sounds stupid but that's how deep the brainwashing goes.
Everyone in my family is religious except for me and my brother. All of my cousins have clung to the church with a blindness that astounds me and makes me sick. They preach on Facebook constantly, ranting and raving about sinners, especially attacking homosexuals, abortion., liberals. They hate Obama and the democratic party. Truth be told I'm so scared of them I'm afraid to like your facebook page for fear they'll see it.
After years of seeing the church and so called "christians" treat people so horribly, I left. I don't attend any church and if I have go into one, I feel such horrible feelings I want out. (maybe I have a demon ha ha!) Hearing these people spew their hate makes me sick. My husband is an atheist, our children our being raised w/ no religion at all. My oldest daughter has expressed recently a desire to be Wiccan. My family would freak out more over that then me being an athiest, LOL But I don't care what my children choose, if they want to be religious, whatever, but I will give them the freedom to choose their own path. I won't be brainwashing anyone!
Now with this Duggar crap coming out I felt the need to share my story. I don't want to be a part of a community that would defend someone like Josh Duggar. Even though I'm still scared of what my family might say I am glad my eyes are open, and I gladly choose the wide path of freedom over the narrow path of ignorance! Thanks for letting me share.
I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian family, we went to church twice every Sunday, once every Wednesday, and every night of Revival which was usually held in the Spring and would last from 6 pm until midnight or later. In the summer while all my friends were going to exotic locations and theme parks for vacation I went to 2 weeks of church camp where we attended service 3 times a day. Growing up I could not wear shorts, a 2 piece bathing suit, go to school dances, any movies other than rated G. I could not watch all the fun television shows my friends at school watched, we only watched Little House and the Waltons, Hee Haw, Lawrence Welk, etc. Oh and every Sunday before church we watched the church shows. If I said "gee" or "heck" I'd get beaten.
On Sundays I could not go to the movies, swim, fish, or buy and sell anything, or "work". I was not allowed to play school sports or attend most school functions. We prayed before every meal and every night before bed.
At church we were taught that the pastor was the same as God, his wife was next in line. NO ONE did anything unless he sanctioned it. If he disapproved of something he would preach about it in church then everyone would suddenly stop trick or treating or having jack-o lanterns on Halloween because it was "evil". My church believed in demons, if you were stricken with cancer or some other horrible illness they taught that you had probably sinned and this was your punishment. Repent and you'd be healed! If you had a mental illness then you had a demon. You were not allowed to seek mental health, you were to speak to the pastor instead.
I'll never forget when I was around ten years old the pastor's wife decided to teach us in Sunday School the book of Revelations. I've never been so terrified in my life. She spared no details in telling us how if we weren't "saved" we'd be thrown into hell and be ravaged by demons, burning for eternity. She told us all about the Anti-Christ, how he was already here and he'd make us all have #'s tattooed on our foreheads, etc etc etc.
I grew up alternating between hating church and being too terrified not to worship God, I was always told he'd strike me down, that he saw everything. To this day I get scared if I curse him, like a bolt of lightening will zap me. I know it sounds stupid but that's how deep the brainwashing goes.
Everyone in my family is religious except for me and my brother. All of my cousins have clung to the church with a blindness that astounds me and makes me sick. They preach on Facebook constantly, ranting and raving about sinners, especially attacking homosexuals, abortion., liberals. They hate Obama and the democratic party. Truth be told I'm so scared of them I'm afraid to like your facebook page for fear they'll see it.
After years of seeing the church and so called "christians" treat people so horribly, I left. I don't attend any church and if I have go into one, I feel such horrible feelings I want out. (maybe I have a demon ha ha!) Hearing these people spew their hate makes me sick. My husband is an atheist, our children our being raised w/ no religion at all. My oldest daughter has expressed recently a desire to be Wiccan. My family would freak out more over that then me being an athiest, LOL But I don't care what my children choose, if they want to be religious, whatever, but I will give them the freedom to choose their own path. I won't be brainwashing anyone!
Now with this Duggar crap coming out I felt the need to share my story. I don't want to be a part of a community that would defend someone like Josh Duggar. Even though I'm still scared of what my family might say I am glad my eyes are open, and I gladly choose the wide path of freedom over the narrow path of ignorance! Thanks for letting me share.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Sex criminals for Jeesus
By Sofronia ~
So.
Another christian man is discovered to be a sex criminal. That would be Josh Duggar, oldest son of the Duggar family, of "19 and counting" fame. The show is a "reality" show that features the Duggars doing their best to look like freshly scrubbed, wholesome, models of christian family life.
Here's a link to the story: http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/19-kids-and-counting-son-named-in-underage-sex-probe-58751
Long story short, Josh Duggar reportedly molested five girls, including some of his sisters. Jim Duggar, the divinely appointed control freakhead of household, knew about it and waited a year to report it to the police. When he did, Dad Duggar told a cop who was a family friend. Friend kept his mouth shut and failedto investigate the case until the statute of limitations ran out. How convenient. And it gets worse. Family friend turned out to possess child porn, gotprosecuted, and is in prison. No wonder he didn't investigate. Any bets on whether he was a regular church-goer?
Andwhen the police asked Mom Michelle Duggar, if Josh had gotten treatment, she said he had gone to counseling. Later she says Josh had just been sent to live with a friend who is in construction for a few months.
Wait, it gets better. Josh Duggar (until today) was an exec with the FamilyResearch Council. That's right, the gay and lesbian hating, anti-woman, pro-child beatingFamily Research Council. Ugh.
There's so much wrong here, it's hard to know where to start. Christian bigots harboring a sex criminal, failing to protect the victims who have to live in the same house with him, obstructing justice by failing to notify police, and lying to investigators.
Yep, christians sure have the truth, yessirree bob.
Another christian man is discovered to be a sex criminal. That would be Josh Duggar, oldest son of the Duggar family, of "19 and counting" fame. The show is a "reality" show that features the Duggars doing their best to look like freshly scrubbed, wholesome, models of christian family life.
Here's a link to the story: http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/19-kids-and-counting-son-named-in-underage-sex-probe-58751
Long story short, Josh Duggar reportedly molested five girls, including some of his sisters. Jim Duggar, the divinely appointed control freakhead of household, knew about it and waited a year to report it to the police. When he did, Dad Duggar told a cop who was a family friend. Friend kept his mouth shut and failedto investigate the case until the statute of limitations ran out. How convenient. And it gets worse. Family friend turned out to possess child porn, gotprosecuted, and is in prison. No wonder he didn't investigate. Any bets on whether he was a regular church-goer?
Andwhen the police asked Mom Michelle Duggar, if Josh had gotten treatment, she said he had gone to counseling. Later she says Josh had just been sent to live with a friend who is in construction for a few months.
Wait, it gets better. Josh Duggar (until today) was an exec with the FamilyResearch Council. That's right, the gay and lesbian hating, anti-woman, pro-child beatingFamily Research Council. Ugh.
There's so much wrong here, it's hard to know where to start. Christian bigots harboring a sex criminal, failing to protect the victims who have to live in the same house with him, obstructing justice by failing to notify police, and lying to investigators.
Yep, christians sure have the truth, yessirree bob.
First Do No Harm
By Carl S. ~
These words are in the very beginning of the Hippocratic Oath, which dates from the 4th century B.C.E. Be aware that this oath is never taken by the agents of god, which explains a lot about their attitudes, actions, and policies. There are powerful consequences as a result of this.
A person who swears upon this oath is dedicated to healing the patient placed in his or her hands. It is understood that doing no harm does not mean healing without pain, which might be unavoidable. Whether in the home or hospital, or on the battlefield, healing and ending suffering are the only goals. Are these words, "first do no harm," a basis for trust, integrity, and dedication? And why are they the first? Can we trust religions to do no harm?
Ask any religious person to explain why his religion is morally superior to ordinary human goodness, and you will be given examples of the good works, the "charity" the religions do. They always avoid, like a plague, any references to the harm they do and are doing. (As one example, one Jewish spokesman said, "Don't tell me about ‘Christian charity.’ We have experienced two thousand years of it.")
Christians are very fond of citing Jesus the healer of body, mind, and soul, and not the Jesus who condemns those who don't believe in him to eternal torture. As a parent, would you entrust the well-being of your child to a doctor who tells you that if the child does not believe in him, that child will be tortured? Would you entrust the mental well-being of your child to a clergyman with that same “oath?" Wouldn't that clergyman feel empowered to do anything harmful in order to keep that child from the fate of eternal torture?
Wait: Isn't that the oath of the Inquisition jury? We will have you believe or you will be harmed? Isn’t that the same basic creed of Islam; submit to belief or we will "torture or kill the body to ‘save’ the soul?“ How many have suffered because of their oath, their Protestant souls saved for Catholicism, their Catholic souls saved for Protestantism, their Shia faith souls saved from the Sunni faith, and on and on, all "heretics to each other?" And what of those other "martyrs," not for, but against the faiths, those nonbelievers throughout the centuries? All of these good human beings have been tortured and/or killed, and nothing, nothing, in all the faith claims has ever been proven to be true.
Would you entrust the well-being of your child to a doctor who tells you that if the child does not believe in him, that child will be tortured?Neither Jesus, nor Mohammed, nor any other Abrahamic religion adherent finds anything evil in the drowning of children in the Noachian flood, of biblical genocides, nor the eventual horrific destruction of humankind. In fact, doing harm is what most religions regard as a necessity for their survival and growth, as merely a means to their ends. You can't trust religion, because it's like a malignancy: You cannot predict the times nor places when it will erupt again and find justifications for doing harm.
Has religion done more harm than good? Already, we have mentioned the Inquisition, to which believers reactions are,"We don't talk about that." What about the deaths of women in childbirth because Catholic bishops refuse to allow them to have life-saving abortions? Or of the clerical mandates denying end of life self-termination to the hopeless, purposely so that they may endure agonizing torture for "the privilege of the grace of God to suffer?" Harmless? Or at present, children being harmed as "witches” in Africa? Let us not forget kidnappings, tortures, beheadings, crucifixions, girls sold into slavery. Sectarian violence is causing the agonies from loss of family and country suffered right now, today, as a result of deeply held religious beliefs overpowering decency and morality.
Think of the rapes of thousands of children allowed because of religious exceptionalism to civil laws. Religious "charity" covers up a multitude of sins! And what about hundreds of millions of dollars to date paid out to settle pedophile clergy settlements? That money was intended to go for good works. It is paid out to some, but not all, victims of Christian, Jewish, Muslim, "charity." No harm done? Think of child sacrifices to the gods throughout history. Think of the millions of sweating, back-breaking and life-threatening hours spent erecting temples, churches, pyramids, and mosques. All that money dedicated to the glory of gods, was not, is still not, expended to alleviate pain and suffering, thus making life better for everyone. No harm in that? But isn't doing nothing, harmful?
Sure, you can argue that without religion many evils would still exist. After all, dictatorships and monarchies have employed rules and methods much like those of theocracies. Unchecked power corrupts. Those systems have not stood the tests of time, however, whereas religions, with their facade of goodness, are still alive and kicking, and doing harm.
Wouldn't life have been much different if, instead of religion, mankind had embraced the oath of Hippocrates in our relationships to each other, and the philosophy of Lucretius to live and let live and embrace and enjoy life, and help others to do likewise?
“First do no harm.”
These words are in the very beginning of the Hippocratic Oath, which dates from the 4th century B.C.E. Be aware that this oath is never taken by the agents of god, which explains a lot about their attitudes, actions, and policies. There are powerful consequences as a result of this.
Papyrus text: fragment of Hippocratic oath. |
Ask any religious person to explain why his religion is morally superior to ordinary human goodness, and you will be given examples of the good works, the "charity" the religions do. They always avoid, like a plague, any references to the harm they do and are doing. (As one example, one Jewish spokesman said, "Don't tell me about ‘Christian charity.’ We have experienced two thousand years of it.")
Christians are very fond of citing Jesus the healer of body, mind, and soul, and not the Jesus who condemns those who don't believe in him to eternal torture. As a parent, would you entrust the well-being of your child to a doctor who tells you that if the child does not believe in him, that child will be tortured? Would you entrust the mental well-being of your child to a clergyman with that same “oath?" Wouldn't that clergyman feel empowered to do anything harmful in order to keep that child from the fate of eternal torture?
Wait: Isn't that the oath of the Inquisition jury? We will have you believe or you will be harmed? Isn’t that the same basic creed of Islam; submit to belief or we will "torture or kill the body to ‘save’ the soul?“ How many have suffered because of their oath, their Protestant souls saved for Catholicism, their Catholic souls saved for Protestantism, their Shia faith souls saved from the Sunni faith, and on and on, all "heretics to each other?" And what of those other "martyrs," not for, but against the faiths, those nonbelievers throughout the centuries? All of these good human beings have been tortured and/or killed, and nothing, nothing, in all the faith claims has ever been proven to be true.
Would you entrust the well-being of your child to a doctor who tells you that if the child does not believe in him, that child will be tortured?Neither Jesus, nor Mohammed, nor any other Abrahamic religion adherent finds anything evil in the drowning of children in the Noachian flood, of biblical genocides, nor the eventual horrific destruction of humankind. In fact, doing harm is what most religions regard as a necessity for their survival and growth, as merely a means to their ends. You can't trust religion, because it's like a malignancy: You cannot predict the times nor places when it will erupt again and find justifications for doing harm.
Has religion done more harm than good? Already, we have mentioned the Inquisition, to which believers reactions are,"We don't talk about that." What about the deaths of women in childbirth because Catholic bishops refuse to allow them to have life-saving abortions? Or of the clerical mandates denying end of life self-termination to the hopeless, purposely so that they may endure agonizing torture for "the privilege of the grace of God to suffer?" Harmless? Or at present, children being harmed as "witches” in Africa? Let us not forget kidnappings, tortures, beheadings, crucifixions, girls sold into slavery. Sectarian violence is causing the agonies from loss of family and country suffered right now, today, as a result of deeply held religious beliefs overpowering decency and morality.
Think of the rapes of thousands of children allowed because of religious exceptionalism to civil laws. Religious "charity" covers up a multitude of sins! And what about hundreds of millions of dollars to date paid out to settle pedophile clergy settlements? That money was intended to go for good works. It is paid out to some, but not all, victims of Christian, Jewish, Muslim, "charity." No harm done? Think of child sacrifices to the gods throughout history. Think of the millions of sweating, back-breaking and life-threatening hours spent erecting temples, churches, pyramids, and mosques. All that money dedicated to the glory of gods, was not, is still not, expended to alleviate pain and suffering, thus making life better for everyone. No harm in that? But isn't doing nothing, harmful?
Sure, you can argue that without religion many evils would still exist. After all, dictatorships and monarchies have employed rules and methods much like those of theocracies. Unchecked power corrupts. Those systems have not stood the tests of time, however, whereas religions, with their facade of goodness, are still alive and kicking, and doing harm.
Wouldn't life have been much different if, instead of religion, mankind had embraced the oath of Hippocrates in our relationships to each other, and the philosophy of Lucretius to live and let live and embrace and enjoy life, and help others to do likewise?
Sunday, May 24, 2015
An Atheist's Response to Common Christian Arguments
By Ben Love ~
I have been an atheist for six months now. They’ve been an incredible six months, comprising both good and bad experiences. The bad experiences came from other people’s reactions to my new stance. The good experiences came from my own reactions to my new stance. (Thus, as it is most things in life, we must observe that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your choices as long as you know they are right.)
Not all of the reactions of have been ugly, though. Many people, even ones from a Christian background, have seemed honestly perplexed by my choice, as though to them atheism is not too far from insanity. Still others have expressed a genuine interest in knowing what made me choose this; even they themselves would never choose the same. What’s been the most interesting, however, is that people who have had no prior experience with either Christianity or atheism and who therefore stand in the middle ground of uninformed agnosticism (as opposed to informed agnosticism) suddenly discover, upon hearing of my views, that they do have an opinion on an issue that they previously felt indifferent to. For instance, I was talking to a distant family member about my atheism, and she suddenly decided after years of indifferent agnosticism that she was a hardcore theist, whereupon she began to debate me as though she’d been a passionate theist for decades. To me, this is an interesting look into the psyche of the human being. The fact of the matter is that we love to argue. All of us. Even those among us who say they don’t and who even think they don’t will still discover, when the issue is one that affects them in some particular way, that they’re much more confrontational than they previously thought. We’re all debaters when the right issue is at stake.
I therefore thought it would be interesting to write an article about some of the most common rebuttals I receive when people hear about my atheism. Perhaps, upon reading them, you can decide where you stand.
I bought into this for a while, but upon closer inspection, I do not think this is the case. Allow me to explain. The Christian passionately believes that a personal God exists (personified in the character of Jesus Christ). The atheist passionately maintains that no such God exists. We are therefore both passionate about our stances. Thus, you could say that, passion for passion, we are even. But the true differences emerge when we include the issue of faith. The Christian says, “I don’t care what evidence you say you have or what evidence you show me, or what might or might not be proven; I am a believer, and that is what I am going to remain. After all, the Word of God is clear.” Thus, the Christian is immovable in his stance. Without trying to offend him, I might even say that the Christian is somewhat stubborn. And this determination to “remain right” even in the face of mountainous evidence which proves him wrong is precisely what makes him a fundamentalist. The atheist, on the other hand, is what he is because he has followed the evidence to his stance rather than doing what the Christian has done, which is to adopt a stance in spite of evidence. The atheist is therefore much more “movable.” When and if new evidence for this view or that should come under scrutiny, the atheist will respond in precisely the manner which the evidence demands. He is therefore anything but a fundamentalist. He is an evidentialist. Does he fundamentally stand by the evidence? Yes, he does. But when the evidence moves, he will move with it. You cannot say this about the Christian. He will stand planted in the spot he currently occupies regardless of what may or may not come to light around him. So let us hear no more about atheists being the inversion of fundamentalists. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I usually hear this from Christians after I have listed out the many reasons why the God described in the Bible cannot qualify as a true deity. What they don’t seem to understand is that the atheist cannot sit in judgement on a Creator he doesn’t believe exists. For instance, if we were to discuss the dealings of Zeus as chronicled in the writings of Greek mythology, we might observe that Zeus has shady motives, that he has a terrible temper, that he commits atrocities, and that he demonstrates too many human traits in order to qualify as a perfect deity. Even the Christians would nod their heads and say, “Yes, yes, quite right.” But that’s okay for them to do because they don’t believe for one instant that Zeus is a real person or a true deity. They rightly believe him to be exactly what he is: a figment of the Greek mythos. When the atheist is similarly denouncing the acts of Yahweh in the Old Testament, he is doing precisely the same thing as was done with Zeus: he is demonstrating that A, B, and C, chronicled as they are in the very scriptures the Christians believe in, negate this character from being a real deity. It is the exact same thing we have just done with Zeus, only now the Christian is affronted and accuses you of sitting in judgement on the Creator. It never seems to occur to them that you cannot sit in judgment on that which does not exist. You can only observe the reasons why that thing does not and could not exist in the first place. Therefore, when I say that Yahweh could not be a true deity because he orders genocide, I’m not shaming a real deity; I’m pointing out that this deity is false. If there was a real Creator, then yes, no created being could criticize it, but that is not the case with Yahweh. He is no more real than Zeus is. The only difference here is that the Christian has faith in one and none in the other. Okay, fine. But the atheist has faith in neither.
The person making this statement is committing a common error; he is confusing deism with theism. It is one thing to say that you think it is likely that some sort of Creator-Being exists somewhere (deism). It is quite another to say that a Creator-Being exists and it is most definitely the God you happen to believe in and if others do not share this belief they are destined for hell (theism). Do you see the difference? Even the atheist can be a deist. Even the atheist can look at the natural world and say, “Hmmm, it might be likely that someone is out there.” He will also then be fair and responsible enough to claim no exclusive knowledge about that possible “someone.” This is the not what the theist does. He views the natural world as a confirmation of his particular beliefs. The Christian will look at the stars or the Sun or the intricacies of human DNA and conclude that the Apostles’ Creed has just been verified. This is always dangerous, because it brings absolutism into that which is, by its very nature, rife with mystery. As Obi-Wan Kenobi observed, “Only a Sith deals with absolutes.” Besides, not having an answer to a massive mystery, such as the origins of the natural world, is not the same as concluding that no such answer exists. This is the same thing ancient man did when he attributed earthquakes and thunderstorms to the workings of an angry deity. He didn’t have the information that adequately explained these phenomena, so he filled in the blank with a God. Similarly, when we look at the Universe and observe that we do not have adequate information to explain its origins, some among us fill in that blank with God. Filling in a blank with your Band-Aid answer is not the same thing as having solid proof that your answer is correct. Perhaps the natural world does beg for a supernatural answer (or perhaps not), but the problem comes when you think your particular answer is the correct one and when this attitude leads to you cast aspersions on everyone else’s answers. That, by the way, is the hallmark of theism. And that will always lead to division and enmity—the two things that, more than anything else, have been most common fruits of theistic religion in the world.
Let us assume, for the sake of argument, that the Christian is indeed wrong. If this is the case, he has put all of his hope into an afterlife which does not exist. He has ordered the tenets of his life around a lie. He has made decisions based on faulty information. He has spent energy and passion worshiping a person who is not real. And he may even be persecuted for his beliefs—even unto his own death. Does this sound like a better bargain than the one the atheist has? The Christian, if he is wrong, may as well not have even existed at all. He squandered his only chance to truly live, preferring to leave his mark in eternity, an eternity that turned out to be nonexistent, which then means his mark turned out to be nonexistent. Now, I would never contend that the atheist has nothing to lose if he is wrong (but even that is contingent upon assuming that just because an afterlife does exist it must certainly be the heaven vs. hell scenario spoken of in Christian theology). The atheist may find out, upon his death, that hell is very real and he is indeed going to be spending eternity there. But this is only one out of an infinite number of scenarios one could imagine in an afterlife. No one, not even the Christian, knows for a certainty what happens when a person dies. Suppose the afterlife exists but is nothing like what the Christian thinks? No one knows. Therefore, the atheist can at least say that he is definitely making the most of that time he knows he has: now. The atheist knows he is alive now. He is therefore doing everything he can to fully live now. Will he exist in some sort of afterlife? He could, but the atheist doesn’t know this for a certainty, which is why he chooses not to worry about it. There is no point in fretting over that which you have absolutely no idea. The Christian, on the other hand, has invited the theoretical afterlife into hisnowlife and is using what may happen in that afterlife as the impetus for decisions he makes in his nowlife. If he is wrong, he loses the afterlife and has also wasted his nowlife. And this is to be considered preferable? Let us be honest: both the Christian and the atheist are taking a certain risk here, but one is no more worse than the other is. It depends on what you yourself believe about the matter. But your beliefs on the matter do not necessarily echo the truth. This is therefore a weak argument to throw at the atheist, because even I know that I was much more miserable in my nowlife as a Christian than I have ever been in my nowlife as an atheist. And “now” matters much more than the Christian wants to admit. In fact, now is all you ever really have.
First of all, Christianity isn’t all that unique. It borrows a lot from its Judeo predecessor, to say nothing of the traits one can find in Christianity that mirror Buddhist thought (which predates Christian theology). Also, let us observe that in the first century there were similar dying god-man cults all over the civilized world, most notably in the form of Mithraism. One can even find hints of Zoroastrian thought and shades of Egyptian mythology in the farther recesses of Christian doctrine. To say that Christianity is unique is, in a sense, a grossly misinformed and slightly naïve statement to make. The truth is that most of the world’s religions are merely various manifestations of one web: the web of the human imagination. However, there are elements of Christian theology that are unique to this particular religion. But so what? How does that necessarily prove its truth? All of the religions share similarities, but all of them also have their unique elements. There are aspects of Buddhism that categorically set it apart from Islam, just as there are aspects of Christianity that categorically set it apart from Buddhism. Adherents of all the major religions can point to this or that about their particular set of beliefs that standout as unique; Christianity does not have the monopoly on that. And if a religion’s uniqueness is grounds for us accepting its theology as solid truth, we must then accept of all of the religion’s theologies.
I have heard this one time and time again. And it is, if I may say so, utterly ridiculous. There is too much information to prove the Christian story? Really? Where is this information? Why isn’t it being distributed to the masses? “It is,” the Christian says. “Anyone can buy a Bible.” Ah, yes. This statement brings us to the truth of the matter: the information that the Christian has at his disposal, the information that allegedly falls under the category of “too much,” is that information to be found in his religion’s own scriptures. I don’t mean to be offensive when I say that this is quite convenient. In a sense, the Christian is saying that he knows the Bible is true because the Bible itself tells him it is true. In other words, the Christian believes the Bible is true because he believes in the truth of the Bible. Whatever else this may be (such as terrible circular reasoning), one thing it is not is “too much information.” If there was an abundance (and I do mean “abundance”) of information outside of the Bible that confirmed the Christian story, then perhaps the above argument would have merit. But there is not. The Christian himself knows this, but rather than admit that this is his undoing, he asserts that God oriented things this way so that a person might have faith. Okay, but which is it? Either you have too much information not to believe this and faith is actually unnecessary, or not enough information to believe it and faith is necessary. Which is it? It cannot be both. The fact of the matter is that faith and certainty are polar opposites. If you are certain, you don’t need faith. If you are uncertain, you do need faith. So, while the Christian maintains that he is saved by faith, that faith is the only true doorway to God, he then turns to us nonbelievers and says that there is enough information out there to make faith unnecessary. Seems to me the Christian needs to pick one. Besides, this argument is superfluous to the fact that the information we humans have, if it is looked at objectively, screams that Christianity cannot be anything other than pure fantasy.
There you have it. These are the most common arguments I receive, and this is my response to them. What are your thoughts on the matter?
http://hereticforum.weebly.com/
I have been an atheist for six months now. They’ve been an incredible six months, comprising both good and bad experiences. The bad experiences came from other people’s reactions to my new stance. The good experiences came from my own reactions to my new stance. (Thus, as it is most things in life, we must observe that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your choices as long as you know they are right.)
Not all of the reactions of have been ugly, though. Many people, even ones from a Christian background, have seemed honestly perplexed by my choice, as though to them atheism is not too far from insanity. Still others have expressed a genuine interest in knowing what made me choose this; even they themselves would never choose the same. What’s been the most interesting, however, is that people who have had no prior experience with either Christianity or atheism and who therefore stand in the middle ground of uninformed agnosticism (as opposed to informed agnosticism) suddenly discover, upon hearing of my views, that they do have an opinion on an issue that they previously felt indifferent to. For instance, I was talking to a distant family member about my atheism, and she suddenly decided after years of indifferent agnosticism that she was a hardcore theist, whereupon she began to debate me as though she’d been a passionate theist for decades. To me, this is an interesting look into the psyche of the human being. The fact of the matter is that we love to argue. All of us. Even those among us who say they don’t and who even think they don’t will still discover, when the issue is one that affects them in some particular way, that they’re much more confrontational than they previously thought. We’re all debaters when the right issue is at stake.
I therefore thought it would be interesting to write an article about some of the most common rebuttals I receive when people hear about my atheism. Perhaps, upon reading them, you can decide where you stand.
“Your atheism is just an inversion of Christian fundamentalism.”
I bought into this for a while, but upon closer inspection, I do not think this is the case. Allow me to explain. The Christian passionately believes that a personal God exists (personified in the character of Jesus Christ). The atheist passionately maintains that no such God exists. We are therefore both passionate about our stances. Thus, you could say that, passion for passion, we are even. But the true differences emerge when we include the issue of faith. The Christian says, “I don’t care what evidence you say you have or what evidence you show me, or what might or might not be proven; I am a believer, and that is what I am going to remain. After all, the Word of God is clear.” Thus, the Christian is immovable in his stance. Without trying to offend him, I might even say that the Christian is somewhat stubborn. And this determination to “remain right” even in the face of mountainous evidence which proves him wrong is precisely what makes him a fundamentalist. The atheist, on the other hand, is what he is because he has followed the evidence to his stance rather than doing what the Christian has done, which is to adopt a stance in spite of evidence. The atheist is therefore much more “movable.” When and if new evidence for this view or that should come under scrutiny, the atheist will respond in precisely the manner which the evidence demands. He is therefore anything but a fundamentalist. He is an evidentialist. Does he fundamentally stand by the evidence? Yes, he does. But when the evidence moves, he will move with it. You cannot say this about the Christian. He will stand planted in the spot he currently occupies regardless of what may or may not come to light around him. So let us hear no more about atheists being the inversion of fundamentalists. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
“You are sitting in judgement on the Creator, and you can’t do that.”
I usually hear this from Christians after I have listed out the many reasons why the God described in the Bible cannot qualify as a true deity. What they don’t seem to understand is that the atheist cannot sit in judgement on a Creator he doesn’t believe exists. For instance, if we were to discuss the dealings of Zeus as chronicled in the writings of Greek mythology, we might observe that Zeus has shady motives, that he has a terrible temper, that he commits atrocities, and that he demonstrates too many human traits in order to qualify as a perfect deity. Even the Christians would nod their heads and say, “Yes, yes, quite right.” But that’s okay for them to do because they don’t believe for one instant that Zeus is a real person or a true deity. They rightly believe him to be exactly what he is: a figment of the Greek mythos. When the atheist is similarly denouncing the acts of Yahweh in the Old Testament, he is doing precisely the same thing as was done with Zeus: he is demonstrating that A, B, and C, chronicled as they are in the very scriptures the Christians believe in, negate this character from being a real deity. It is the exact same thing we have just done with Zeus, only now the Christian is affronted and accuses you of sitting in judgement on the Creator. It never seems to occur to them that you cannot sit in judgment on that which does not exist. You can only observe the reasons why that thing does not and could not exist in the first place. Therefore, when I say that Yahweh could not be a true deity because he orders genocide, I’m not shaming a real deity; I’m pointing out that this deity is false. If there was a real Creator, then yes, no created being could criticize it, but that is not the case with Yahweh. He is no more real than Zeus is. The only difference here is that the Christian has faith in one and none in the other. Okay, fine. But the atheist has faith in neither.
“How could something come from nothing? You have to admit there is a God. Look around you!”
The person making this statement is committing a common error; he is confusing deism with theism. It is one thing to say that you think it is likely that some sort of Creator-Being exists somewhere (deism). It is quite another to say that a Creator-Being exists and it is most definitely the God you happen to believe in and if others do not share this belief they are destined for hell (theism). Do you see the difference? Even the atheist can be a deist. Even the atheist can look at the natural world and say, “Hmmm, it might be likely that someone is out there.” He will also then be fair and responsible enough to claim no exclusive knowledge about that possible “someone.” This is the not what the theist does. He views the natural world as a confirmation of his particular beliefs. The Christian will look at the stars or the Sun or the intricacies of human DNA and conclude that the Apostles’ Creed has just been verified. This is always dangerous, because it brings absolutism into that which is, by its very nature, rife with mystery. As Obi-Wan Kenobi observed, “Only a Sith deals with absolutes.” Besides, not having an answer to a massive mystery, such as the origins of the natural world, is not the same as concluding that no such answer exists. This is the same thing ancient man did when he attributed earthquakes and thunderstorms to the workings of an angry deity. He didn’t have the information that adequately explained these phenomena, so he filled in the blank with a God. Similarly, when we look at the Universe and observe that we do not have adequate information to explain its origins, some among us fill in that blank with God. Filling in a blank with your Band-Aid answer is not the same thing as having solid proof that your answer is correct. Perhaps the natural world does beg for a supernatural answer (or perhaps not), but the problem comes when you think your particular answer is the correct one and when this attitude leads to you cast aspersions on everyone else’s answers. That, by the way, is the hallmark of theism. And that will always lead to division and enmity—the two things that, more than anything else, have been most common fruits of theistic religion in the world.
“You have more to lose if you’re wrong than the Christian does if he is wrong.”
Let us assume, for the sake of argument, that the Christian is indeed wrong. If this is the case, he has put all of his hope into an afterlife which does not exist. He has ordered the tenets of his life around a lie. He has made decisions based on faulty information. He has spent energy and passion worshiping a person who is not real. And he may even be persecuted for his beliefs—even unto his own death. Does this sound like a better bargain than the one the atheist has? The Christian, if he is wrong, may as well not have even existed at all. He squandered his only chance to truly live, preferring to leave his mark in eternity, an eternity that turned out to be nonexistent, which then means his mark turned out to be nonexistent. Now, I would never contend that the atheist has nothing to lose if he is wrong (but even that is contingent upon assuming that just because an afterlife does exist it must certainly be the heaven vs. hell scenario spoken of in Christian theology). The atheist may find out, upon his death, that hell is very real and he is indeed going to be spending eternity there. But this is only one out of an infinite number of scenarios one could imagine in an afterlife. No one, not even the Christian, knows for a certainty what happens when a person dies. Suppose the afterlife exists but is nothing like what the Christian thinks? No one knows. Therefore, the atheist can at least say that he is definitely making the most of that time he knows he has: now. The atheist knows he is alive now. He is therefore doing everything he can to fully live now. Will he exist in some sort of afterlife? He could, but the atheist doesn’t know this for a certainty, which is why he chooses not to worry about it. There is no point in fretting over that which you have absolutely no idea. The Christian, on the other hand, has invited the theoretical afterlife into hisnowlife and is using what may happen in that afterlife as the impetus for decisions he makes in his nowlife. If he is wrong, he loses the afterlife and has also wasted his nowlife. And this is to be considered preferable? Let us be honest: both the Christian and the atheist are taking a certain risk here, but one is no more worse than the other is. It depends on what you yourself believe about the matter. But your beliefs on the matter do not necessarily echo the truth. This is therefore a weak argument to throw at the atheist, because even I know that I was much more miserable in my nowlife as a Christian than I have ever been in my nowlife as an atheist. And “now” matters much more than the Christian wants to admit. In fact, now is all you ever really have.
“Christianity must be true because of all the world religions, it is the most unique.”
First of all, Christianity isn’t all that unique. It borrows a lot from its Judeo predecessor, to say nothing of the traits one can find in Christianity that mirror Buddhist thought (which predates Christian theology). Also, let us observe that in the first century there were similar dying god-man cults all over the civilized world, most notably in the form of Mithraism. One can even find hints of Zoroastrian thought and shades of Egyptian mythology in the farther recesses of Christian doctrine. To say that Christianity is unique is, in a sense, a grossly misinformed and slightly naïve statement to make. The truth is that most of the world’s religions are merely various manifestations of one web: the web of the human imagination. However, there are elements of Christian theology that are unique to this particular religion. But so what? How does that necessarily prove its truth? All of the religions share similarities, but all of them also have their unique elements. There are aspects of Buddhism that categorically set it apart from Islam, just as there are aspects of Christianity that categorically set it apart from Buddhism. Adherents of all the major religions can point to this or that about their particular set of beliefs that standout as unique; Christianity does not have the monopoly on that. And if a religion’s uniqueness is grounds for us accepting its theology as solid truth, we must then accept of all of the religion’s theologies.
“There’s too much information that proves the Christian story and not enough to disprove it.”
I have heard this one time and time again. And it is, if I may say so, utterly ridiculous. There is too much information to prove the Christian story? Really? Where is this information? Why isn’t it being distributed to the masses? “It is,” the Christian says. “Anyone can buy a Bible.” Ah, yes. This statement brings us to the truth of the matter: the information that the Christian has at his disposal, the information that allegedly falls under the category of “too much,” is that information to be found in his religion’s own scriptures. I don’t mean to be offensive when I say that this is quite convenient. In a sense, the Christian is saying that he knows the Bible is true because the Bible itself tells him it is true. In other words, the Christian believes the Bible is true because he believes in the truth of the Bible. Whatever else this may be (such as terrible circular reasoning), one thing it is not is “too much information.” If there was an abundance (and I do mean “abundance”) of information outside of the Bible that confirmed the Christian story, then perhaps the above argument would have merit. But there is not. The Christian himself knows this, but rather than admit that this is his undoing, he asserts that God oriented things this way so that a person might have faith. Okay, but which is it? Either you have too much information not to believe this and faith is actually unnecessary, or not enough information to believe it and faith is necessary. Which is it? It cannot be both. The fact of the matter is that faith and certainty are polar opposites. If you are certain, you don’t need faith. If you are uncertain, you do need faith. So, while the Christian maintains that he is saved by faith, that faith is the only true doorway to God, he then turns to us nonbelievers and says that there is enough information out there to make faith unnecessary. Seems to me the Christian needs to pick one. Besides, this argument is superfluous to the fact that the information we humans have, if it is looked at objectively, screams that Christianity cannot be anything other than pure fantasy.
There you have it. These are the most common arguments I receive, and this is my response to them. What are your thoughts on the matter?
http://hereticforum.weebly.com/
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Who Is to Blame?
By John Shores ~
It has been five years since I left Christianity.
My own personal struggle can best be defined as a search for "understanding why." Why did I believe the Christian story? Why did I leave? Why didn't I see the truth sooner? This seems to be a common path for people like me who are trying to cope with a whole new reality.
What I recognized in myself, though, was that I really wasn't looking for an answer to "why." I was looking for someone to blame for not having seen the truth sooner.
So, I sought for the answer to this question instead. What I discovered was surprising.
Where the Blame Does Not Lie
"Christian doctrine" is not the problem. I know this sounds astounding, but that's the long and the short of it.
Here is why.
Religious doctrine has no power of its own. As Reza Aslan said in a recent interview:
Quote
I think this is a truth that is easy to overlook. When we feel aggrieved and angry, we want to assign blame and there is no easier target then The Bible and the works of Christian theologians. But these are not worthy targets.
We can see this in our own experiences. A person gravitates toward a religion that supports what they already think and feel. A liberal Christian uses the same Bible to support his or her humanistic worldview as the Westborough Baptist Church uses to support their bigotry.
There is nothing transformative about the Bible or so-called "Christian" ideas. A human being holds an idea and then looks for those passages in the Bible (or Koran...) that support that idea.
Christianity did not ruin my life. Nor was it the cause of the abuses that I suffered. It was merely an implement. To blame Christianity is like blaming the belt that Dad used to beat me. The belt was designed to hold one's britches up. It was not designed as an assault weapon. The fact that it was used to inflict pain was not the fault of the belt.
Where Does the Blame Lie?
So who or what is to blame for the experiences that I suffered in the name of Christianity?
I think the primary blame falls to human biology.
We are social animals who need to belong to a group. Validation of our ideas and thoughts is of great importance to us. (That's why we are all here on this site, isn't it?)
Once I realized this, I began to recognize just how much bullshit I was willing to swallow so that I could remain "in good standing" (for want of a better phrase) among the people in my church.
There were many times that I thought "This ain't right" but rather than using that as a foundation for independent thinking, I would instead go on a journey to find sources that agreed with the thing that I struggled against so that I could find some way of making it "OK" to believe it. I held the position that I was wrong and the group was right.
Sad to say, I wasn't as interested in Truth as I was interested in Belonging.
Two other characteristics of human beings also have an impact on this:
When I first left the faith, I was tempted to blame my parents for failing me somehow. Upon reflection, however, I don't know that this is really fair. They were happy in their faith and remained so for life. Is it reasonable to expect that they would to teach me how to think independently when they did not know how to do so themselves? Is it realistic for me to demand that they should have presented me with other options?
Even if they had not been particularly happy in their beliefs, going against the herd is contrary to human nature. I don't know that I would be holding any moral high ground by laying at their feet the accusation that they failed to break away from the herd.
Actually, I Am to Blame
I am grateful that I live in a time and place where breaking away from Christianity is not a solo experience.If I'm being honest, I don't know how long I would have lasted on this journey if I didn't have a group like this one to help me. If I lived in the seventeenth century Europe, I am pretty confident that I would have the stones to walk away from Christianity, even if it didn't carry with it the threat of physical torture. I still feel the need to belong somewhere, after all.
I am grateful that I live in a time and place where breaking away from Christianity is not a solo experience. Unlike previous generations, questioning religious belief is a very big topic for mine. There are many sources out there to help people who want to look at Christianity from a non-theist viewpoint. Heck! There are even open debates between non-theists and theists going around.
If anyone is to blame for the decades I spent as a Christian as an adult, it is I. It is my own failure that I did not give any credence to the opponents of theism. It is my fault that I never looked at my faith objectively until I was completely disillusioned.
No matter how loud the voices on either side of the discussion, ultimately I am responsible for thinking and making decisions for myself.
Knowing this, I find it difficult to lay blame elsewhere. And in searching my own motives, I find that the only possible net impact of trying to lay blame anywhere else only serves for me to fuel the angst and distress that I first felt after leaving the faith.
I have no desire to be at odds with other people simply because of their declared belief system. Rather, I am finding that an individual can only be won to my way of thinking when I treat them respectfully and demonstrate that I am a good person.
Personal interactions between theists and atheists are the means by which theism will die away.
Groups clash. Individuals can find common ground. Attacking a group is not only a complete waste of effort but it is unhealthy for each of us. The path to healing, either as individuals or as a society, is not found is blaming and attacking one another. It is found in accepting the role that we played in keeping ourselves bound to the Christian herd and allowing ourselves to move forward with greater understanding and empathy for those who have not yet become brave enough to question their own faith.
It has been five years since I left Christianity.
My own personal struggle can best be defined as a search for "understanding why." Why did I believe the Christian story? Why did I leave? Why didn't I see the truth sooner? This seems to be a common path for people like me who are trying to cope with a whole new reality.
What I recognized in myself, though, was that I really wasn't looking for an answer to "why." I was looking for someone to blame for not having seen the truth sooner.
So, I sought for the answer to this question instead. What I discovered was surprising.
Where the Blame Does Not Lie
"Christian doctrine" is not the problem. I know this sounds astounding, but that's the long and the short of it.
Here is why.
Religious doctrine has no power of its own. As Reza Aslan said in a recent interview:
Quote
There's this misconception that people derive their values from their scriptures. And the truth is that it's more often the case that people insert their values into their scriptures.
In this country, not two hundred years ago both slave owners and abolitionists not only used the same Bible to justify their viewpoints, they used the same verses to do so.
I think this is a truth that is easy to overlook. When we feel aggrieved and angry, we want to assign blame and there is no easier target then The Bible and the works of Christian theologians. But these are not worthy targets.
We can see this in our own experiences. A person gravitates toward a religion that supports what they already think and feel. A liberal Christian uses the same Bible to support his or her humanistic worldview as the Westborough Baptist Church uses to support their bigotry.
There is nothing transformative about the Bible or so-called "Christian" ideas. A human being holds an idea and then looks for those passages in the Bible (or Koran...) that support that idea.
Christianity did not ruin my life. Nor was it the cause of the abuses that I suffered. It was merely an implement. To blame Christianity is like blaming the belt that Dad used to beat me. The belt was designed to hold one's britches up. It was not designed as an assault weapon. The fact that it was used to inflict pain was not the fault of the belt.
Where Does the Blame Lie?
So who or what is to blame for the experiences that I suffered in the name of Christianity?
I think the primary blame falls to human biology.
We are social animals who need to belong to a group. Validation of our ideas and thoughts is of great importance to us. (That's why we are all here on this site, isn't it?)
Once I realized this, I began to recognize just how much bullshit I was willing to swallow so that I could remain "in good standing" (for want of a better phrase) among the people in my church.
There were many times that I thought "This ain't right" but rather than using that as a foundation for independent thinking, I would instead go on a journey to find sources that agreed with the thing that I struggled against so that I could find some way of making it "OK" to believe it. I held the position that I was wrong and the group was right.
Sad to say, I wasn't as interested in Truth as I was interested in Belonging.
Two other characteristics of human beings also have an impact on this:
- We are wired to recognize authority
- We imitate others
When I first left the faith, I was tempted to blame my parents for failing me somehow. Upon reflection, however, I don't know that this is really fair. They were happy in their faith and remained so for life. Is it reasonable to expect that they would to teach me how to think independently when they did not know how to do so themselves? Is it realistic for me to demand that they should have presented me with other options?
Even if they had not been particularly happy in their beliefs, going against the herd is contrary to human nature. I don't know that I would be holding any moral high ground by laying at their feet the accusation that they failed to break away from the herd.
Actually, I Am to Blame
I am grateful that I live in a time and place where breaking away from Christianity is not a solo experience.If I'm being honest, I don't know how long I would have lasted on this journey if I didn't have a group like this one to help me. If I lived in the seventeenth century Europe, I am pretty confident that I would have the stones to walk away from Christianity, even if it didn't carry with it the threat of physical torture. I still feel the need to belong somewhere, after all.
I am grateful that I live in a time and place where breaking away from Christianity is not a solo experience. Unlike previous generations, questioning religious belief is a very big topic for mine. There are many sources out there to help people who want to look at Christianity from a non-theist viewpoint. Heck! There are even open debates between non-theists and theists going around.
If anyone is to blame for the decades I spent as a Christian as an adult, it is I. It is my own failure that I did not give any credence to the opponents of theism. It is my fault that I never looked at my faith objectively until I was completely disillusioned.
No matter how loud the voices on either side of the discussion, ultimately I am responsible for thinking and making decisions for myself.
Knowing this, I find it difficult to lay blame elsewhere. And in searching my own motives, I find that the only possible net impact of trying to lay blame anywhere else only serves for me to fuel the angst and distress that I first felt after leaving the faith.
I have no desire to be at odds with other people simply because of their declared belief system. Rather, I am finding that an individual can only be won to my way of thinking when I treat them respectfully and demonstrate that I am a good person.
Personal interactions between theists and atheists are the means by which theism will die away.
Groups clash. Individuals can find common ground. Attacking a group is not only a complete waste of effort but it is unhealthy for each of us. The path to healing, either as individuals or as a society, is not found is blaming and attacking one another. It is found in accepting the role that we played in keeping ourselves bound to the Christian herd and allowing ourselves to move forward with greater understanding and empathy for those who have not yet become brave enough to question their own faith.
And I Feel Fine
By ToonForever
The end of the world as we know it. I can tell you from experience that most Evangelical Christians live like it’s going to happen tomorrow. They don’t follow Christianity as a live for today, just be a good person sort of thing. They are intensely interested in the future and modern politics. They are convinced the rapture is right around the corner, followed quickly by the Tribulation and the return of Jesus Christ. What is written in the Left Behind books they believe is really going to happen.
According to modern apocalyptic thought, one of the main hallmarks of the final conflict and the tribulation will be a one-world government headed by the Antichrist. They believe that one of the Antichrist’s main tools will be control of the world financial system via a single currency, and that this currency will be purely electronic. Nobody will have cash or credit cards. Instead they will have a mark on their arm or forehead, a number on their skin that will be their personal number, their access to the economy, tied to their accounts. No mark, no money, food, no living. They see that as a step toward the number of the beast..
Some ways back there was an article in the online news about Sweden becoming a cash-free society. I thought it was interesting when I read it. Later in the day a Christian friend of mine posted the same article, quipping, “Hmmm… interesting!” Another friend commented something to the effect of: “The time is near!”
To them, it’s not about a better money system, a fairer money system. It’s about the coming one-world government, led by the Antichrist.
They believe in the days before the rapture that Christians will be increasingly persecuted. They believe they will be rounded up, given one chance to renounce their faith, and executed if they refuse. They believe the world is getting worse and more violent, and they will be the scapegoats in the end. They believe that they will be raptured away, and that there will be a group of Christians who come around after the rapture and endure the Tribulation. At the end of the Tribulation comes the Ultimate Religious Revenge Fantasy – when all the goats, all of us unbelievers, will see Jesus returning in the clouds, and it will be too late. They will watch as all of us heathen are in an instant plunged into everlasting torment to suffer for eternity for a brief lifetime of supposed sin.
They believe this stuff like they believe the mailman will come by and deliver the mail this afternoon. This is real world training. This is the problem with so much religious indoctrination. They’re not just working on being better people and finding peace and happiness. They apply this worldview to every real world action they take. They interpret every news item through that filter. It’s a mindset that is completely opposed to real world progress, because their primary hope requires the world to, literally, go to hell in a handbasket.
There was another Facebook post by a Christian friend that repeated an old saw I’ve heard several times. They said:
Isn’t that rosy?
Making a better world for ourselves and our children and our children's’ children is difficult. But one would think it would be a bit easier if there weren’t a large segment of our population who not only don’t think it’s worthwhile, but whose primary hope requires everything to get worse.
Religion takes whole populations of talented, capable people, and completely incapacitates their ability to contribute to the progress of society and our world. Let’s leave off for a minute that the deck chair comment is bullshit, because we all know they’re more than willing to mess with certain deck chairs, like the ones on the Homosexual deck, right?
How do you convince the Evangelical to be a part of the solution? How do you convince them that it’s worth their while to promote peace and understanding? How do you get them to care about the environment for the sake of future generations? How do you get them to care about any of it when they don’t even think there are enough future generations to come? How do you get them to stand up for peace and understanding in a multi-cultural world when, 1.) they think their belief system is the only right one, to the exclusion of all others, that all others are errors that must be exposed and those adherents evangelized in order to hasten the end, and 2.) they look forward to the war and conflict that must come to bring about the Millennial Kingdom and their final hope?
It’s asking them to go against the very heart of their beliefs. It’s asking them to literally waste their time and effort for goals they not only don’t believe in, but that are, in some respects, opposed to their final hopes and religious dreams.
This is one of the great modern harms of religion. It’s not just bombings and beheadings, as horrible and frightful as those are. It’s the fact that religion takes whole populations of talented, capable people, and completely incapacitates their ability to contribute to the progress of society and our world. It sets them up in opposition to humanity’s best interests.
It’s not that they don’t contribute to society at all, of course. But in view of the big picture, they’re not looking for a better tomorrow for everyone. They’re only looking to their ultimate revenge fantasy of seeing all the other non-believers or believers in the wrong religions go to eternal punishment so they can spend eternity being right.
And suddenly I don’t feel so fine anymore.
https://winlb.wordpress.com/
It’s the end of the world as we know it.
It’s the end of the world as we know it.
It’s the end of the world as we know it,
And I feel fine. – R.E.M.
The end of the world as we know it. I can tell you from experience that most Evangelical Christians live like it’s going to happen tomorrow. They don’t follow Christianity as a live for today, just be a good person sort of thing. They are intensely interested in the future and modern politics. They are convinced the rapture is right around the corner, followed quickly by the Tribulation and the return of Jesus Christ. What is written in the Left Behind books they believe is really going to happen.
According to modern apocalyptic thought, one of the main hallmarks of the final conflict and the tribulation will be a one-world government headed by the Antichrist. They believe that one of the Antichrist’s main tools will be control of the world financial system via a single currency, and that this currency will be purely electronic. Nobody will have cash or credit cards. Instead they will have a mark on their arm or forehead, a number on their skin that will be their personal number, their access to the economy, tied to their accounts. No mark, no money, food, no living. They see that as a step toward the number of the beast..
Some ways back there was an article in the online news about Sweden becoming a cash-free society. I thought it was interesting when I read it. Later in the day a Christian friend of mine posted the same article, quipping, “Hmmm… interesting!” Another friend commented something to the effect of: “The time is near!”
To them, it’s not about a better money system, a fairer money system. It’s about the coming one-world government, led by the Antichrist.
They believe in the days before the rapture that Christians will be increasingly persecuted. They believe they will be rounded up, given one chance to renounce their faith, and executed if they refuse. They believe the world is getting worse and more violent, and they will be the scapegoats in the end. They believe that they will be raptured away, and that there will be a group of Christians who come around after the rapture and endure the Tribulation. At the end of the Tribulation comes the Ultimate Religious Revenge Fantasy – when all the goats, all of us unbelievers, will see Jesus returning in the clouds, and it will be too late. They will watch as all of us heathen are in an instant plunged into everlasting torment to suffer for eternity for a brief lifetime of supposed sin.
They believe this stuff like they believe the mailman will come by and deliver the mail this afternoon. This is real world training. This is the problem with so much religious indoctrination. They’re not just working on being better people and finding peace and happiness. They apply this worldview to every real world action they take. They interpret every news item through that filter. It’s a mindset that is completely opposed to real world progress, because their primary hope requires the world to, literally, go to hell in a handbasket.
There was another Facebook post by a Christian friend that repeated an old saw I’ve heard several times. They said:
Yeah, I am not much into politics and I try to discourage (my spouse) on too much focus on it. I think it’s akin to rearranging the deck chairs 0n a sinking ship.
The darker things get, the Brighter our Light!
Isn’t that rosy?
Making a better world for ourselves and our children and our children's’ children is difficult. But one would think it would be a bit easier if there weren’t a large segment of our population who not only don’t think it’s worthwhile, but whose primary hope requires everything to get worse.
Religion takes whole populations of talented, capable people, and completely incapacitates their ability to contribute to the progress of society and our world. Let’s leave off for a minute that the deck chair comment is bullshit, because we all know they’re more than willing to mess with certain deck chairs, like the ones on the Homosexual deck, right?
How do you convince the Evangelical to be a part of the solution? How do you convince them that it’s worth their while to promote peace and understanding? How do you get them to care about the environment for the sake of future generations? How do you get them to care about any of it when they don’t even think there are enough future generations to come? How do you get them to stand up for peace and understanding in a multi-cultural world when, 1.) they think their belief system is the only right one, to the exclusion of all others, that all others are errors that must be exposed and those adherents evangelized in order to hasten the end, and 2.) they look forward to the war and conflict that must come to bring about the Millennial Kingdom and their final hope?
It’s asking them to go against the very heart of their beliefs. It’s asking them to literally waste their time and effort for goals they not only don’t believe in, but that are, in some respects, opposed to their final hopes and religious dreams.
This is one of the great modern harms of religion. It’s not just bombings and beheadings, as horrible and frightful as those are. It’s the fact that religion takes whole populations of talented, capable people, and completely incapacitates their ability to contribute to the progress of society and our world. It sets them up in opposition to humanity’s best interests.
It’s not that they don’t contribute to society at all, of course. But in view of the big picture, they’re not looking for a better tomorrow for everyone. They’re only looking to their ultimate revenge fantasy of seeing all the other non-believers or believers in the wrong religions go to eternal punishment so they can spend eternity being right.
And suddenly I don’t feel so fine anymore.
https://winlb.wordpress.com/
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Where's the Product?
By Bob Keye ~
I was staying in England promoting my business which involved the setting up of product seminars. At the end of each seminar there would be a “Testimonials” slot for the for the final sell or the big push. This was my business in an entrepreneurs market.
Although I was very busy I needed to keep my christian faith ticking over so I joined the christian Alpha course in a local church.
THE ALPHA COURSE
On the first night of the Alpha course it was jam packed with attendees. The Alpha course promised to answer “Tough Questions” regarding God and Christianity.
We were put into groups to ask questions and discuss Jesus, God and faith in christianity. The problem was that the lady and young boy leading our group were not theologically educated.
To combat this I said that I would make a commitment to study my [largely unread] King James bible in my spare time and add something beneficial to the group and perhaps convince non believers rejoice and bathe in the glorious word of God.
THE BIBLE
When one hasn’t read the bible properly for many years [chapter by chapter] one forgets what a piece of badly written, incoherent and illogical nonsense it is.
I was a hard core believer and felt that nothing could shake the solid foundations of my faith. But, as I read the bible I was actually stunned.
Firstly by Abraham. Was he incestuous? Was he a murderer in waiting? Was Cain and Able a dreadful and deliberate racist ploy [The mark of Cain. He beat Cain’s face with hail, his face blackening like coal?]
The one story that appalled me to the point of repulsion and made me question christian morality was the story of Lot and his daughters. I realised at that moment that it was me who needed theological help and not the non believers.
THEOLOGIANS ARISE [If you’ve got the balls!]
I asked with sincerity the “Tough questions” because I needed reassurance. But I quickly learnt that as usual a theologian does not like being made to feel and look uncomfortable in front of his flock. And worse, a theologian does not like to sound and look like they lack knowledge in front of anyone. But I had to ask “Tough question” as advertised. Isn’t this what my Lord God was ordering me to do?
I HAD TO ASK
“If it was Gods will and he commanded you [Mr Thoelogian] would you let your daughters be raped? Would you impregnate your own child? Would you let hundreds of men rape and abuse you daughters?” I asked with sincerity.
“What does the story of Lot mean/represent, Isn’t this story immoral and downright evil. What is this doing in the bible. What are we supposed to make of this?”
The answer was always whispered with the same lame murmur, “Oh don’t worry about it. it is just OT. We follow Jesus and Paul now”. But I argued “Isn’t this the inerrant word of our Lord God, isn’t this His word?” Ironically it fell on deaf ears.
I wasn’t being awkward but I needed answers. The theologian for all his talk and policy regarding tough questions was just plain sissy and made to look very foolish by his own inability to make sense of it all even to himself. This was not helpful to believers and non believers alike.
This turning away from answering key christian questions was a big problem because it showed their discomfort and fear of confrontation.
The bible stories were/are bad and they could not be transformed into a happy loving fairytale by a loving God via apologetics. One gentleman [a far to clever Atheist] was asked in no uncertain terms to leave the Alpha course. He was I believe emailed not to come back [He may well have de-covereted his group].
WHY COULD’NT THE ALPHA COURSE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS?
It’s easy to see now because the answers were unanswerable.
Rape and incest is rape and incest. Racism is racism and murder is murder. To say that we are not to question God on his word is just weak and sly. The acts portrayed in these bible stories were/are immoral and wicked. Tough questions my ass!
HALF WAY THROUGH THE ALPHA COURSE
By now 50% of the attendees had left. Ironically a lot of this was due to the singing. The same monotonous song was sung with the chorus on loop.”I really really love you cause you’re my God, yes, I really really love you, etc etc etc”.
It was the first time that I had ever been in a church where half the attendees were very self conscious whilst looking at the floor closed mouth twiddling their thumbs to the joyous tones of God!
THE FIRST CRACK: I couldn't believe it, But I am a believer!
The night came when the talk about evidence was given. As usual the speaker spoke in soft tones. When he had finally finished I waited in eager anticipation to hear the exciting evidence. But no, he had just given the evidence.
WHAT! He only mentioned a bit about Josephus after he had rambled on and on about CS Lewis. I was shocked!
That evening I made my way to a 24/7 internet cafe and surfed high and lo for evidence. I did this over the next week for two hours per night.
ENTER THE INTERNET
CHRISTIAN BUSINESS MODEL = A man stands on a platform and reads out a fairytale. A group of people in a large room speak to thin air. The people put some money on a plate needlessly. The people go home.I found that the gospels were written 30 to 100 plus years after the supposed death of Jesus. The authors names were not that of real people or the actual writers of the gospels. The misogynistic council of Nicea reared it’s ugly head along with the books and other gospels that didn’t make it into the bible like the Gospel of Thomas [with a very different Jesus than the one promoted in churches]. Gnosticism and the early christians were very different compared to the new christianity glued together by a group of power hungry men in their the official canon.
The birth narratives conflicted and lacked all credibility, Egypt, Bethlehem? What! This is incomprehensible, which author is telling the truth? Neither? What a mess.
The bible contradicted itself over and over, and just got plain silly e,g Isaiah 45.7 ” I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.“ So God now creates evil? The list just went on and on.
All of this I could handle because I still had faith, but the one thing I could not handle was this:
There was evidence galore “against” the existence of Jesus but very little “for” the existence of Jesus.
He was God’s son after all so surely there must be volumes of historical evidence? It was heartbreaking to bear witness to scraps and non evidential titbits of impotent apologetics. Historically it was bordering on embarrassing. Even Nazereth didn’t exist!
THE LAST SUPPER AT THE ALPHA COURSE
To end the Alpha course there was a big supper where food and wine was served. This was to get the new recruits buttered up for the next Alpha course.
I hadn’t realised it but his was really the final nail in the coffin for me.
I was shocked because for all to see was the sales persons super tool the “Testimonial”. I could’nt believe it. Whoever constructed the Alpha course must have employed or be an entrepreneur. This was business not spirit and I knew this business model like the back of my hand and how it works. It is a good model. But in this case it was just damn manipulative,
A hapless individual is taken upon the stage.
Speaker. “So tell me Fred how did the Holy Spirit come to you”,
Hapless individual. “Well I was putting my washing out and all of a sudden I felt a strange but amazing feeling and I felt very happy, clean and new”.
Speaker. “Wow, that must have been an amazing day, will you always remember that day?”
Hapless individual. “Well, I can’t forget it because it was my birthday and my wife had bought me a new car and she had let me ravish her body all morning. I don’t know what it was about that day but I just felt really good and very happy, I am sure it was the Holy Ghost”.
MY EPIPHANY AT THE ALPHA COURSE
It just hit me there and then like a blinding light from Damascus. This is a business. A business unlike any other. THIS IS A BUSINESS WITHOUT A PRODUCT.
CHRISTIAN BUSINESS MODEL = A man stands on a platform and reads out a fairytale. A group of people in a large room speak to thin air. The people put some money on a plate needlessly. The people go home.
There isn’t a product. Payment for what? Where’s the product?
The church is a company that can’t pay out, isn’t paying out and will never pay out because it doesn’t have a product to profit from or for it to pay out on. The customer puts way too much trust and finance into this company. It’s not the customer writing the ” iou’s”, It’s the company. This company exists by iou’s and nothing else.
HOLD ON: What about the promise?
Well, Jesus has been in the post for the last two thousand years. He’s not coming back because he never arrived in the first place, so he can’t come back even if Me, Tom, Dick, Harry, Martha and Mable wanted him to because he doesn’t have a tangible existence to exist by.
WHAT ABOUT FAITH?
You just can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t promise what you don’t and cannot possess. Faith without works [ Works being tangible] is what? answer = Dead.
You can’t promise or profit from that which you have not seen, touched, smelt or tasted and hence is not in actual existence. Anything believed in or promised outside of this is fantasy or delusion.
Dead = Not in existence or existing in a form without life and of NO USE TO ANYTHING OR ANYBODY!
Even those with faith look to tangibles like crucifixes and miracles or the financing of historical excavations. Many still seek the Ark [Even God was sort of tangible in the Ark] and other holy relics.
The churches swallow “Mammon” in large doses. The customer awaits in silent expectation. The product is never delivered. It can’t be delivered because there isn’t one.
HELLO TO MYSELF!
Leaving the Alpha course I felt tears on my face. Theses were not tears of pain but tears of joy.
I wasn’t happy about losing my faith, that was hard, but I was very happy because I had met myself for the first time in my life and I really liked the guy I had met. Yes, I can be a bit of a hothead and a bit hard headed at times, but, I realised that I am a pretty good guy and that I will not concede where truth is concerned.
AS TIME GOES BY
As time went on from the Alpha course I went from Agnostic to Buddhist to Spiritual and finally after reading much about Science [that actually has evidence] I became A.T.H.E.I.S.T.
I don’t like the word atheist because really we are all atheists. I don’t think that the 7th day Adventists worship the same god as the Catholics. Or the Catholics the same god as the Hare Krishna’s. People are only pretending. Some pretend harder than others. Thats all it was and all it ever was.
INTERNET
I have confidence that the internet [sort of tangible?] will do the rest of the work for humanity. Information is available and free of charge and easy to access for anybody anywhere. You can’t sell people what you don’t have and what doesn’t exist forever. People can now research this business without a product online and make their own conclusions. As for me… well, I’m outta here!
Bob Keye 2015
https://absenceofsilences.wordpress.com
I was staying in England promoting my business which involved the setting up of product seminars. At the end of each seminar there would be a “Testimonials” slot for the for the final sell or the big push. This was my business in an entrepreneurs market.
Although I was very busy I needed to keep my christian faith ticking over so I joined the christian Alpha course in a local church.
THE ALPHA COURSE
On the first night of the Alpha course it was jam packed with attendees. The Alpha course promised to answer “Tough Questions” regarding God and Christianity.
We were put into groups to ask questions and discuss Jesus, God and faith in christianity. The problem was that the lady and young boy leading our group were not theologically educated.
To combat this I said that I would make a commitment to study my [largely unread] King James bible in my spare time and add something beneficial to the group and perhaps convince non believers rejoice and bathe in the glorious word of God.
THE BIBLE
When one hasn’t read the bible properly for many years [chapter by chapter] one forgets what a piece of badly written, incoherent and illogical nonsense it is.
I was a hard core believer and felt that nothing could shake the solid foundations of my faith. But, as I read the bible I was actually stunned.
Firstly by Abraham. Was he incestuous? Was he a murderer in waiting? Was Cain and Able a dreadful and deliberate racist ploy [The mark of Cain. He beat Cain’s face with hail, his face blackening like coal?]
The one story that appalled me to the point of repulsion and made me question christian morality was the story of Lot and his daughters. I realised at that moment that it was me who needed theological help and not the non believers.
THEOLOGIANS ARISE [If you’ve got the balls!]
I asked with sincerity the “Tough questions” because I needed reassurance. But I quickly learnt that as usual a theologian does not like being made to feel and look uncomfortable in front of his flock. And worse, a theologian does not like to sound and look like they lack knowledge in front of anyone. But I had to ask “Tough question” as advertised. Isn’t this what my Lord God was ordering me to do?
I HAD TO ASK
“If it was Gods will and he commanded you [Mr Thoelogian] would you let your daughters be raped? Would you impregnate your own child? Would you let hundreds of men rape and abuse you daughters?” I asked with sincerity.
“What does the story of Lot mean/represent, Isn’t this story immoral and downright evil. What is this doing in the bible. What are we supposed to make of this?”
The answer was always whispered with the same lame murmur, “Oh don’t worry about it. it is just OT. We follow Jesus and Paul now”. But I argued “Isn’t this the inerrant word of our Lord God, isn’t this His word?” Ironically it fell on deaf ears.
I wasn’t being awkward but I needed answers. The theologian for all his talk and policy regarding tough questions was just plain sissy and made to look very foolish by his own inability to make sense of it all even to himself. This was not helpful to believers and non believers alike.
This turning away from answering key christian questions was a big problem because it showed their discomfort and fear of confrontation.
The bible stories were/are bad and they could not be transformed into a happy loving fairytale by a loving God via apologetics. One gentleman [a far to clever Atheist] was asked in no uncertain terms to leave the Alpha course. He was I believe emailed not to come back [He may well have de-covereted his group].
WHY COULD’NT THE ALPHA COURSE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS?
It’s easy to see now because the answers were unanswerable.
Rape and incest is rape and incest. Racism is racism and murder is murder. To say that we are not to question God on his word is just weak and sly. The acts portrayed in these bible stories were/are immoral and wicked. Tough questions my ass!
HALF WAY THROUGH THE ALPHA COURSE
By now 50% of the attendees had left. Ironically a lot of this was due to the singing. The same monotonous song was sung with the chorus on loop.”I really really love you cause you’re my God, yes, I really really love you, etc etc etc”.
It was the first time that I had ever been in a church where half the attendees were very self conscious whilst looking at the floor closed mouth twiddling their thumbs to the joyous tones of God!
THE FIRST CRACK: I couldn't believe it, But I am a believer!
The night came when the talk about evidence was given. As usual the speaker spoke in soft tones. When he had finally finished I waited in eager anticipation to hear the exciting evidence. But no, he had just given the evidence.
WHAT! He only mentioned a bit about Josephus after he had rambled on and on about CS Lewis. I was shocked!
That evening I made my way to a 24/7 internet cafe and surfed high and lo for evidence. I did this over the next week for two hours per night.
ENTER THE INTERNET
CHRISTIAN BUSINESS MODEL = A man stands on a platform and reads out a fairytale. A group of people in a large room speak to thin air. The people put some money on a plate needlessly. The people go home.I found that the gospels were written 30 to 100 plus years after the supposed death of Jesus. The authors names were not that of real people or the actual writers of the gospels. The misogynistic council of Nicea reared it’s ugly head along with the books and other gospels that didn’t make it into the bible like the Gospel of Thomas [with a very different Jesus than the one promoted in churches]. Gnosticism and the early christians were very different compared to the new christianity glued together by a group of power hungry men in their the official canon.
The birth narratives conflicted and lacked all credibility, Egypt, Bethlehem? What! This is incomprehensible, which author is telling the truth? Neither? What a mess.
The bible contradicted itself over and over, and just got plain silly e,g Isaiah 45.7 ” I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.“ So God now creates evil? The list just went on and on.
All of this I could handle because I still had faith, but the one thing I could not handle was this:
There was evidence galore “against” the existence of Jesus but very little “for” the existence of Jesus.
He was God’s son after all so surely there must be volumes of historical evidence? It was heartbreaking to bear witness to scraps and non evidential titbits of impotent apologetics. Historically it was bordering on embarrassing. Even Nazereth didn’t exist!
THE LAST SUPPER AT THE ALPHA COURSE
To end the Alpha course there was a big supper where food and wine was served. This was to get the new recruits buttered up for the next Alpha course.
I hadn’t realised it but his was really the final nail in the coffin for me.
I was shocked because for all to see was the sales persons super tool the “Testimonial”. I could’nt believe it. Whoever constructed the Alpha course must have employed or be an entrepreneur. This was business not spirit and I knew this business model like the back of my hand and how it works. It is a good model. But in this case it was just damn manipulative,
A hapless individual is taken upon the stage.
Speaker. “So tell me Fred how did the Holy Spirit come to you”,
Hapless individual. “Well I was putting my washing out and all of a sudden I felt a strange but amazing feeling and I felt very happy, clean and new”.
Speaker. “Wow, that must have been an amazing day, will you always remember that day?”
Hapless individual. “Well, I can’t forget it because it was my birthday and my wife had bought me a new car and she had let me ravish her body all morning. I don’t know what it was about that day but I just felt really good and very happy, I am sure it was the Holy Ghost”.
MY EPIPHANY AT THE ALPHA COURSE
It just hit me there and then like a blinding light from Damascus. This is a business. A business unlike any other. THIS IS A BUSINESS WITHOUT A PRODUCT.
CHRISTIAN BUSINESS MODEL = A man stands on a platform and reads out a fairytale. A group of people in a large room speak to thin air. The people put some money on a plate needlessly. The people go home.
There isn’t a product. Payment for what? Where’s the product?
The church is a company that can’t pay out, isn’t paying out and will never pay out because it doesn’t have a product to profit from or for it to pay out on. The customer puts way too much trust and finance into this company. It’s not the customer writing the ” iou’s”, It’s the company. This company exists by iou’s and nothing else.
HOLD ON: What about the promise?
Well, Jesus has been in the post for the last two thousand years. He’s not coming back because he never arrived in the first place, so he can’t come back even if Me, Tom, Dick, Harry, Martha and Mable wanted him to because he doesn’t have a tangible existence to exist by.
WHAT ABOUT FAITH?
You just can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t promise what you don’t and cannot possess. Faith without works [ Works being tangible] is what? answer = Dead.
You can’t promise or profit from that which you have not seen, touched, smelt or tasted and hence is not in actual existence. Anything believed in or promised outside of this is fantasy or delusion.
Dead = Not in existence or existing in a form without life and of NO USE TO ANYTHING OR ANYBODY!
Even those with faith look to tangibles like crucifixes and miracles or the financing of historical excavations. Many still seek the Ark [Even God was sort of tangible in the Ark] and other holy relics.
The churches swallow “Mammon” in large doses. The customer awaits in silent expectation. The product is never delivered. It can’t be delivered because there isn’t one.
HELLO TO MYSELF!
Leaving the Alpha course I felt tears on my face. Theses were not tears of pain but tears of joy.
I wasn’t happy about losing my faith, that was hard, but I was very happy because I had met myself for the first time in my life and I really liked the guy I had met. Yes, I can be a bit of a hothead and a bit hard headed at times, but, I realised that I am a pretty good guy and that I will not concede where truth is concerned.
AS TIME GOES BY
As time went on from the Alpha course I went from Agnostic to Buddhist to Spiritual and finally after reading much about Science [that actually has evidence] I became A.T.H.E.I.S.T.
I don’t like the word atheist because really we are all atheists. I don’t think that the 7th day Adventists worship the same god as the Catholics. Or the Catholics the same god as the Hare Krishna’s. People are only pretending. Some pretend harder than others. Thats all it was and all it ever was.
INTERNET
I have confidence that the internet [sort of tangible?] will do the rest of the work for humanity. Information is available and free of charge and easy to access for anybody anywhere. You can’t sell people what you don’t have and what doesn’t exist forever. People can now research this business without a product online and make their own conclusions. As for me… well, I’m outta here!
Bob Keye 2015
https://absenceofsilences.wordpress.com
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
The Atheist Journey
By Isabelle Hernandez ~
At the age of ten my mom became the drama director of our church and I was cast in the lead role. Our church wasn’t very big and no one was really looking at resumes or talent, for that matter. Willingness was all that was needed and I was not only willing but I was thirsty to serve God and let him use me to speak to others. I wholeheartedly poured myself into my role, conveying as much as I could into the acting so that the audience might not see me but see God and God’s plan. Granted, my experience in life and all matters concerning it was limited and to be honest I didn’t understand Christianity; they were just stories to me. Some stories I loved but most inspired fear.
When I was 11 we lived in Miami and we attended a super church that was super obsessed with the occult and the ways the Devil tries to get into our lives. I remember a Saturday morning, Mom woke me up and she instructed me to gather my ceramic unicorn collection which I loved more than anything, she told me to put it into a trash bag. She then grabbed a beautiful antique Korean tea set her aunt had gifted her on her wedding day that had an intricate paintings of red dragons over the navy blue saucers. We placed everything in the black bag and my Mom took me to the kitchen, grabbed a wooden stick and told me we were rebuking Satan from our lives because he was using these items to live amongst us. She said to take the stick and hit the bag, breaking the glass and rebuking as I did in Jesus’ name. I look back at that scene, which is still vivid in my mind, and see the foolishness. In that moment I saw Satan as a tangible thing, a creature so crafty that would even live in a 50 year old tea set waiting to influence us in evil ways. Needless to say I was prettified of him, afraid he would grab me from under my blanked at night. Afraid that he would creep in from a movie or a TV show, I was in short, governed by the fear of Satan.
Some years passed and I understood the concept of Christianity more and more until one particular evening, caught up in the energy of those around me, I decided to accept Jesus as my savior, for with him I was told, nothing was impossible. But I held a tiny horrible secret within me one that I have probably not confessed until now, it was all an act. A beautiful act by a girl trained in the arts of acting. I did not feel a spirit, I did not feel God but everyone around me seemed to and I was not going to be left out so I also closed my eyes, cried and said I felt Jesus. As the weeks went by I would lie on my bed and beg God to speak to me, to talk to me the way he seemed to talk to others. But there was silence. The resounding sound of silence is one of the scariest things. Why not me? I pondered and cried because I felt I was doing something wrong – I loved Jesus with all of my heart, I loved the Bible, I considered myself a Christian yet… he never spoke to me. I never heard his voice. How did so many in the Bible hear his clear words yet he wouldn’t say a thing to me? My mother told me he spoke differently to everyone and I remember the deep seed of dissatisfaction that began growing inside of me. I felt like a child that had been placed on time out without really and truly comprehending why.
For many years I stayed on God’s time out but no one knew. I kept all this inside of me all the while outside I went to service, I ‘praised him’ and I gave testimony. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t stop talking to God. I decided since he was ignoring me to change my tactics on how I addressed him. You see, before, I was taught to speak to him in reverence; I’d be kneeling, to show my respect for he was the almighty. So, since he continued his silence, I decided that I was going to talk to him like I talked to everyone else. Straight up, looking up at the ceiling. It was during this time that I struggled between demanding answers and pleading. I would demand for him to explain something that had gone wrong. My room would remain quiet. I kept hearing the verse ‘faith as small as a mustard seed’ and I would concentrate and place all of my faith in him. I would go to sleep knowing he was going to fix something by morning. But it never worked. Night after night, week after week, months upon months, my faith was unshakable. I did not deter. I felt that perhaps prove myself to him, prove how much I believed in him.
The change came when I began reading. Reading, many would argue, is knowledge. So I began reading and my knowledge began to grow. I knew of things that didn’t pertain to the church or God or the Bible. Knowledge bloomed before, I couldn’t contain myself. Answers to questions the Silent God refused to answer were being peppered in papers before my eyes. I moved out of my parent’s home when I turned 20 to go to college in another city. I remember that day so clearly, it was one of the best days of my life. There was a freedom that overwhelmed me as I closed the door and waved them goodbye. It was liberating, as if breathing when you’ve been too long underwater. Suddenly, life and the world were before me and I couldn't wait to start running recklessly towards it, to get to know it.
The regiment of church 3-4 times a week, seeing the same people, listening to the same voices and being surrounded by the same small-mind mentality was suddenly gone. All at once, I saw a world open with opportunity, unseen things, and inexperienced things – so many things to come. It was that year that I realized that I hated going to Church. Subconsciously, I suppose, I realized that I didn’t want to go back to that life I had led. But I was still too afraid of this God who never spoke and never showed himself and the Hell he had created to cast all those who disobeyed him. My church visits became more and more seldom and my marked up Bible stayed longer and longer on my bookshelf while I plowed through other books in my literature classes. As the days ticked by and my mind knew more and more I realized that there were other, more important things, in this world than considering if wine was a sin or not. Like a typical college student that first leaves home I suddenly believed in nothing and everything at the same time. I began to ask serious questions. Knowledge, I saw, was a wonderful thing. Once you’re aware of something it’s permanent. Why would God not want us to eat from the tree of knowledge? Why was it a sin? Why is knowing things bad? Why was it that it was always my fault for not having enough faith?
The turning point was that I began to ask questions to other people who were more interested in discussing them than shutting me up with a ‘pray to God and ask him’. I was tired of this silent God, I was growing resentful. As time went by his importance in my life went from all consuming to insignificant and I began questioning his decisions and his motives. The things he’s allowed to happen to good people, the atrocities committed in his name. I began to learn in-depth about slavery, the holocaust, colonialism and endless topics. My spirit was restless, restlessness bordering on anger. Then I began thinking of all of the things that had not even been documented, of all the people across the world, across the centuries, across the millenniums who had suffered with the name of God on their lips as they shuddered their last breath, dying a needless horrible death while this just and loving God watched, perched high from his throne being adored by thousands of angels.
It suddenly became quite clear to me that the reason for all those things was one simple conclusion: there was no God.
Why create us, I wondered? The answer I was given was simple: he created us because he loved us and we were part of his greater plan. Little did the person who kindly explained this to me knew but it only served to fuel the sinking suspicion that had taken root inside of me, the suspicion that God was, to put it plainly, full of shit. If he was all-knowing why would you create a person you knew was going to end up in Hell in the first place? Is that person just a pawn to for someone who actually will go to Heaven? If so, does that mean he loves some and others and just ‘part of his plan’? It was a realization that the more I knew about Christianity and the more I read the Bible as a ‘history book’ rather than the Holy inspired text, the more it made no sense. The plot holes were popping up everywhere and at the same time things started to make sense. Why was he silent to me? Why didn’t he show himself to me despite me begging him to?
I also realized fairly quickly that this topic of discussion was not welcomed in circles of believers. That right there caused the great divide. Since everyone I knew up until this point was in fact a church-going believer I found myself to be quite lonely. My questions were not welcomed and my radical ideas spurred people to place hands on me and pray. Something started happening inside of me during those years and that was the beginning of my lack of fear, fear I realized was the root of my Christian world and I was losing it. I wasn’t afraid of asking questions, I wasn’t afraid of reading things I was once discouraged from reading, I wasn’t afraid to think on my own and free from this tyranny that had controlled my thoughts all my life. It was, without doubt, an awakening. The stuff that happens in movies with the rising music and the perfect editing, suddenly every single moment of my life was aligned and it made sense. The silent god who never spoke to me, the plot holes and the lame explanations, the contradictory Bible, the fear element instilled in people, the false hope, that horrible feelings of suppression I got from just stepping into a church. It suddenly became quite clear to me that the reason for all those things was one simple conclusion: there was no God.
At the age of 30 the answer hit me like a bolt of lightning. I sat up on my bed, sweating and shaking. It was both the scariest and the most delightful thing that had ever occurred to me. I did not dare tell anyone, I answered questions the way they wanted me to and still, I kept the secret for me. It was not for anyone else, I realized. Not just anyone could handle this secret. This secret was so powerful, that if found out it would alter the world as we knew it. Think about it, religion has shaped the course of civilization for both better and worse. It’s caused millions of deaths, it’s a powerful force. I could stand in a corner and yell this out for all who passed and I would be no more listened to than a crazy evangelical wearing ‘REPENT GOD IS COMING!!’ sign. On matters of religion, I find that it’s a very personal, serious thing for individuals. For many, it’s the most precious thing that they have. They hold on to it like lifesavers, their faith is unshakable and anything I say will simply place me in the category of heathen. I internalized that for a while, listening to others and how they spoke of their faith in God.
What I find most interesting about people, and perhaps this is a generalization because I am Hispanic and a woman (and as we know Hispanic women can either be a sexy hot siren or a pious woman) is that people automatically assume that you’re a Christian. They will say things like “Well, you have to have faith in God, because you know that is the only thing that keeps us going.” How many times I wanted to shout NO! I refrained myself as I went through my period of quiet. Quiet because I was content in my own knowledge but I didn’t feel comfortable telling people. Why? Because on one hand I had seen what a metaphorical lynching can look like and on the other hand I didn’t feel like having an argument with a person who honestly believed that a man had been swallowed by a whale, lived inside of their stomach acid and was spit back out by said whale and lived to tell the tale.
I am turning 35 this year and I have finally surpassed my anger at God because you can’t be angry at something that never existed. I have studied religion and do not disown people for their beliefs because I know firsthand what it is like to truly believe. I actually enjoy listening to them, especially Muslims who tend to be so knowledgeable and enjoy a nice chat about the historical aspect of their religion. Sometimes they ask me what I am and in the past 2 years I have happily stated with a smile “I’m actually an atheist.” There’s always a great reaction face.
Something switched inside of me along the way, I know where I stand. I am confident and at peace with it and I know this is still my secret. Unless you’ve gone through the journey I have which has taken tears, sweat, doubt, hopelessness and loss of sleep you cannot understand. People who don’t understand seem to think that I made this decision lightly. That I didn’t consider it, that I’m angry, it’s so misunderstood it’s rather comical seen under the right light. When people tell me that I will be in their prayers I just nod and smile and thank them. It’s not their fault that they don’t know anything else and it’s certainly not my place to tell them. The journey from deep belief to Atheism is the most personal journey an individual can make. It’s the hardest, it takes work, it takes battling through confusion and despair and finding yourself still strong and standing after it’s all said and done. It’s the realization that it’s not the next life that counts but this one. This is the one you’ve got to make count for you not for anyone or anything else. The rules I live by I live by because I have my morals still intact. I don’t lie – not because it’s a sin (I hate that word) but because it can cause damage to people and I’m hiding things for no reason other than fear. I don’t kill – not because God said not to (but really he did) – I don’t need a deity to tell me this. I don’t kill because that’s another person’s life that I have no right to take. The moral compass is me – I know inherently what is right and what is wrong. I do not need a guidebook to consult and I shouldn’t have to.
I still feel horrible for the things I believed in back then – how I was taught to hate homosexuality, how it was a sin. Just to think of all the people that have been made feel like they are going to hell just for being who they are angers me above everything. All the kids that were the same as me, thinking they were going something wrong pisses me off, I was to talk to them and tell them it’s not them that there’s nothing wrong with them. My family is still firm believers but I do have a few wonderful friends who have high disdain for religion and love having conversations with me about religion in general. I have made it clear that I do not pray in the table – don’t ask me. I get asked why I celebrate Christmas and I have to patiently explain that I celebrate the camaraderie, the spirit of happiness that comes with having those you love around you enjoying good food, drink, music and family and that has nothing to do with an old book. Thanksgiving is still my favorite holiday but for me it’s a time to reflect on the good things that have happened in the year and to be thankful as a human being.
I sometimes sit back and reflect on my 30 years inside of a religion that controlled my thoughts and my life, this journey to self-discovery has shaped me. I am strong and certain in beliefs and the lack of fear I think it’s portrayed in the way I state things, seldom do people question my certainty. Little did I think as the young 15 yr old who ardently prayed to Jesus would morph into the woman I am today.
At the age of ten my mom became the drama director of our church and I was cast in the lead role. Our church wasn’t very big and no one was really looking at resumes or talent, for that matter. Willingness was all that was needed and I was not only willing but I was thirsty to serve God and let him use me to speak to others. I wholeheartedly poured myself into my role, conveying as much as I could into the acting so that the audience might not see me but see God and God’s plan. Granted, my experience in life and all matters concerning it was limited and to be honest I didn’t understand Christianity; they were just stories to me. Some stories I loved but most inspired fear.
When I was 11 we lived in Miami and we attended a super church that was super obsessed with the occult and the ways the Devil tries to get into our lives. I remember a Saturday morning, Mom woke me up and she instructed me to gather my ceramic unicorn collection which I loved more than anything, she told me to put it into a trash bag. She then grabbed a beautiful antique Korean tea set her aunt had gifted her on her wedding day that had an intricate paintings of red dragons over the navy blue saucers. We placed everything in the black bag and my Mom took me to the kitchen, grabbed a wooden stick and told me we were rebuking Satan from our lives because he was using these items to live amongst us. She said to take the stick and hit the bag, breaking the glass and rebuking as I did in Jesus’ name. I look back at that scene, which is still vivid in my mind, and see the foolishness. In that moment I saw Satan as a tangible thing, a creature so crafty that would even live in a 50 year old tea set waiting to influence us in evil ways. Needless to say I was prettified of him, afraid he would grab me from under my blanked at night. Afraid that he would creep in from a movie or a TV show, I was in short, governed by the fear of Satan.
Some years passed and I understood the concept of Christianity more and more until one particular evening, caught up in the energy of those around me, I decided to accept Jesus as my savior, for with him I was told, nothing was impossible. But I held a tiny horrible secret within me one that I have probably not confessed until now, it was all an act. A beautiful act by a girl trained in the arts of acting. I did not feel a spirit, I did not feel God but everyone around me seemed to and I was not going to be left out so I also closed my eyes, cried and said I felt Jesus. As the weeks went by I would lie on my bed and beg God to speak to me, to talk to me the way he seemed to talk to others. But there was silence. The resounding sound of silence is one of the scariest things. Why not me? I pondered and cried because I felt I was doing something wrong – I loved Jesus with all of my heart, I loved the Bible, I considered myself a Christian yet… he never spoke to me. I never heard his voice. How did so many in the Bible hear his clear words yet he wouldn’t say a thing to me? My mother told me he spoke differently to everyone and I remember the deep seed of dissatisfaction that began growing inside of me. I felt like a child that had been placed on time out without really and truly comprehending why.
For many years I stayed on God’s time out but no one knew. I kept all this inside of me all the while outside I went to service, I ‘praised him’ and I gave testimony. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t stop talking to God. I decided since he was ignoring me to change my tactics on how I addressed him. You see, before, I was taught to speak to him in reverence; I’d be kneeling, to show my respect for he was the almighty. So, since he continued his silence, I decided that I was going to talk to him like I talked to everyone else. Straight up, looking up at the ceiling. It was during this time that I struggled between demanding answers and pleading. I would demand for him to explain something that had gone wrong. My room would remain quiet. I kept hearing the verse ‘faith as small as a mustard seed’ and I would concentrate and place all of my faith in him. I would go to sleep knowing he was going to fix something by morning. But it never worked. Night after night, week after week, months upon months, my faith was unshakable. I did not deter. I felt that perhaps prove myself to him, prove how much I believed in him.
The change came when I began reading. Reading, many would argue, is knowledge. So I began reading and my knowledge began to grow. I knew of things that didn’t pertain to the church or God or the Bible. Knowledge bloomed before, I couldn’t contain myself. Answers to questions the Silent God refused to answer were being peppered in papers before my eyes. I moved out of my parent’s home when I turned 20 to go to college in another city. I remember that day so clearly, it was one of the best days of my life. There was a freedom that overwhelmed me as I closed the door and waved them goodbye. It was liberating, as if breathing when you’ve been too long underwater. Suddenly, life and the world were before me and I couldn't wait to start running recklessly towards it, to get to know it.
The regiment of church 3-4 times a week, seeing the same people, listening to the same voices and being surrounded by the same small-mind mentality was suddenly gone. All at once, I saw a world open with opportunity, unseen things, and inexperienced things – so many things to come. It was that year that I realized that I hated going to Church. Subconsciously, I suppose, I realized that I didn’t want to go back to that life I had led. But I was still too afraid of this God who never spoke and never showed himself and the Hell he had created to cast all those who disobeyed him. My church visits became more and more seldom and my marked up Bible stayed longer and longer on my bookshelf while I plowed through other books in my literature classes. As the days ticked by and my mind knew more and more I realized that there were other, more important things, in this world than considering if wine was a sin or not. Like a typical college student that first leaves home I suddenly believed in nothing and everything at the same time. I began to ask serious questions. Knowledge, I saw, was a wonderful thing. Once you’re aware of something it’s permanent. Why would God not want us to eat from the tree of knowledge? Why was it a sin? Why is knowing things bad? Why was it that it was always my fault for not having enough faith?
The turning point was that I began to ask questions to other people who were more interested in discussing them than shutting me up with a ‘pray to God and ask him’. I was tired of this silent God, I was growing resentful. As time went by his importance in my life went from all consuming to insignificant and I began questioning his decisions and his motives. The things he’s allowed to happen to good people, the atrocities committed in his name. I began to learn in-depth about slavery, the holocaust, colonialism and endless topics. My spirit was restless, restlessness bordering on anger. Then I began thinking of all of the things that had not even been documented, of all the people across the world, across the centuries, across the millenniums who had suffered with the name of God on their lips as they shuddered their last breath, dying a needless horrible death while this just and loving God watched, perched high from his throne being adored by thousands of angels.
It suddenly became quite clear to me that the reason for all those things was one simple conclusion: there was no God.
Why create us, I wondered? The answer I was given was simple: he created us because he loved us and we were part of his greater plan. Little did the person who kindly explained this to me knew but it only served to fuel the sinking suspicion that had taken root inside of me, the suspicion that God was, to put it plainly, full of shit. If he was all-knowing why would you create a person you knew was going to end up in Hell in the first place? Is that person just a pawn to for someone who actually will go to Heaven? If so, does that mean he loves some and others and just ‘part of his plan’? It was a realization that the more I knew about Christianity and the more I read the Bible as a ‘history book’ rather than the Holy inspired text, the more it made no sense. The plot holes were popping up everywhere and at the same time things started to make sense. Why was he silent to me? Why didn’t he show himself to me despite me begging him to?
I also realized fairly quickly that this topic of discussion was not welcomed in circles of believers. That right there caused the great divide. Since everyone I knew up until this point was in fact a church-going believer I found myself to be quite lonely. My questions were not welcomed and my radical ideas spurred people to place hands on me and pray. Something started happening inside of me during those years and that was the beginning of my lack of fear, fear I realized was the root of my Christian world and I was losing it. I wasn’t afraid of asking questions, I wasn’t afraid of reading things I was once discouraged from reading, I wasn’t afraid to think on my own and free from this tyranny that had controlled my thoughts all my life. It was, without doubt, an awakening. The stuff that happens in movies with the rising music and the perfect editing, suddenly every single moment of my life was aligned and it made sense. The silent god who never spoke to me, the plot holes and the lame explanations, the contradictory Bible, the fear element instilled in people, the false hope, that horrible feelings of suppression I got from just stepping into a church. It suddenly became quite clear to me that the reason for all those things was one simple conclusion: there was no God.
At the age of 30 the answer hit me like a bolt of lightning. I sat up on my bed, sweating and shaking. It was both the scariest and the most delightful thing that had ever occurred to me. I did not dare tell anyone, I answered questions the way they wanted me to and still, I kept the secret for me. It was not for anyone else, I realized. Not just anyone could handle this secret. This secret was so powerful, that if found out it would alter the world as we knew it. Think about it, religion has shaped the course of civilization for both better and worse. It’s caused millions of deaths, it’s a powerful force. I could stand in a corner and yell this out for all who passed and I would be no more listened to than a crazy evangelical wearing ‘REPENT GOD IS COMING!!’ sign. On matters of religion, I find that it’s a very personal, serious thing for individuals. For many, it’s the most precious thing that they have. They hold on to it like lifesavers, their faith is unshakable and anything I say will simply place me in the category of heathen. I internalized that for a while, listening to others and how they spoke of their faith in God.
What I find most interesting about people, and perhaps this is a generalization because I am Hispanic and a woman (and as we know Hispanic women can either be a sexy hot siren or a pious woman) is that people automatically assume that you’re a Christian. They will say things like “Well, you have to have faith in God, because you know that is the only thing that keeps us going.” How many times I wanted to shout NO! I refrained myself as I went through my period of quiet. Quiet because I was content in my own knowledge but I didn’t feel comfortable telling people. Why? Because on one hand I had seen what a metaphorical lynching can look like and on the other hand I didn’t feel like having an argument with a person who honestly believed that a man had been swallowed by a whale, lived inside of their stomach acid and was spit back out by said whale and lived to tell the tale.
I am turning 35 this year and I have finally surpassed my anger at God because you can’t be angry at something that never existed. I have studied religion and do not disown people for their beliefs because I know firsthand what it is like to truly believe. I actually enjoy listening to them, especially Muslims who tend to be so knowledgeable and enjoy a nice chat about the historical aspect of their religion. Sometimes they ask me what I am and in the past 2 years I have happily stated with a smile “I’m actually an atheist.” There’s always a great reaction face.
Something switched inside of me along the way, I know where I stand. I am confident and at peace with it and I know this is still my secret. Unless you’ve gone through the journey I have which has taken tears, sweat, doubt, hopelessness and loss of sleep you cannot understand. People who don’t understand seem to think that I made this decision lightly. That I didn’t consider it, that I’m angry, it’s so misunderstood it’s rather comical seen under the right light. When people tell me that I will be in their prayers I just nod and smile and thank them. It’s not their fault that they don’t know anything else and it’s certainly not my place to tell them. The journey from deep belief to Atheism is the most personal journey an individual can make. It’s the hardest, it takes work, it takes battling through confusion and despair and finding yourself still strong and standing after it’s all said and done. It’s the realization that it’s not the next life that counts but this one. This is the one you’ve got to make count for you not for anyone or anything else. The rules I live by I live by because I have my morals still intact. I don’t lie – not because it’s a sin (I hate that word) but because it can cause damage to people and I’m hiding things for no reason other than fear. I don’t kill – not because God said not to (but really he did) – I don’t need a deity to tell me this. I don’t kill because that’s another person’s life that I have no right to take. The moral compass is me – I know inherently what is right and what is wrong. I do not need a guidebook to consult and I shouldn’t have to.
I still feel horrible for the things I believed in back then – how I was taught to hate homosexuality, how it was a sin. Just to think of all the people that have been made feel like they are going to hell just for being who they are angers me above everything. All the kids that were the same as me, thinking they were going something wrong pisses me off, I was to talk to them and tell them it’s not them that there’s nothing wrong with them. My family is still firm believers but I do have a few wonderful friends who have high disdain for religion and love having conversations with me about religion in general. I have made it clear that I do not pray in the table – don’t ask me. I get asked why I celebrate Christmas and I have to patiently explain that I celebrate the camaraderie, the spirit of happiness that comes with having those you love around you enjoying good food, drink, music and family and that has nothing to do with an old book. Thanksgiving is still my favorite holiday but for me it’s a time to reflect on the good things that have happened in the year and to be thankful as a human being.
I sometimes sit back and reflect on my 30 years inside of a religion that controlled my thoughts and my life, this journey to self-discovery has shaped me. I am strong and certain in beliefs and the lack of fear I think it’s portrayed in the way I state things, seldom do people question my certainty. Little did I think as the young 15 yr old who ardently prayed to Jesus would morph into the woman I am today.
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