Skip to main content

My Journey to spiritual fullfillment.

By Kristin ~

I was not born into a Christian family, although I did attend Sunday school every now and then so that my father (who only saw me every other Sunday as my parents divorced when I was 6) could get a break from his visits with my younger brother and myself.

...aonde você for...Image by ...anna christina... via Flickr
Throughout my teen years, I struggled with promiscuity and a serious eating disorder, as a result of the lack of affection and acceptance I received from my father.It was not until I entered therapy at the age of 20 that I realized where my problems originated.After ending a physically and mentally abusive relationship, as well as having suffered a miscarriage, I felt alone in the world. And I was still desperately seeking love and attention.

When I was 21 I went to visit my brother at the bible school he was attending in the U.S.It was there on a Sunday night that I had my first religious experience.I received the holy ghost, as the pentecostal church calls it.I spoke in tongues, fell down, the whole nine yards!.I was a new creature in Christ and I had never been happier!.

I am a new person.One that I hope my children will be proud to call mom.Upon arriving back in Canada, I began attending a united pentecostal church that my brother had recommended.I became a devout believer in Christ.I read the bible and went to church every Sunday and Tuesday evening.I attended bible camp, rallies, anything and everything I could.Most of the people I encountered throughout my Christian experience were great people.

As a new convert, I thought I was doing everything right.I wore modest clothing, I didn't cut my hair.I never wore make -up.Except for a bit of cover up to hide the odd blemish.That little bit of make-up became part of a ministers preaching one Sunday night.He literally preached that wearing any make up was wrong and sinful and so on.I was so humiliated that I left the church a couple of months later.I was sure that it would be the last time that I ever set foot in a Christian church.

Fast forward 10 or 11 years later, and I am a struggling single mom with three children.Stressed out and feeling alone yet again, I attend church with my (newly converted) mother.This church was different. Although still pentecostal, it was much more liberal.The pastor was younger and more charismatic than my previous pastor had been.

But I still had so many questions. I read the bible, again.I prayed.But I could not deny the amount of contradictions in the bible.I could not understand how a loving and all knowing god could condone such violence and sexism.

At the same time all of this was happening I reconnected with an old friend, who incidentally was my previous pastors granddaughter. We had long, wonderful talks about our experiences with the pentecostal church.And it was then that she confided in me that she was a Wiccan.

I had no idea what Wicca was, really. And I was still holding on to the last vestiges of my indoctrination.But I started researching.I found that Wicca was not evil, but an earth based belief system that embraces people of all faiths.

So I began reading Wiccan books.I started meditating. I spent more time appreciating nature and animals.That was almost 18 months ago and I can proudly say that I have never been happier.

I'm not trying to convince other ex christians to became Wiccan, I'm simply sharing my story.I have found freedom and a new zest for life. I'm looking forward to returning to work next fall, after years and years of being on disability because of debilitating anxiety.

I am a new person.One that I hope my children will be proud to call mom.