By Klym ~ I am sitting here typing on my keyboard with only my left, non-dominant hand. It's quite a challenge, I must admit, after spending sixty years using my right hand to do most everything. At this very moment, my husband and I should be on a jet, flying to Florida to spend the night and then leaving tomorrow for a seven day cruise in the Caribbean . But, here I sit, with my right arm in a cast, broken in two places, with one surgery behind me and another surgery looming in my future. All because two weeks ago when I was on my daily walk/run through my lovely neighborhood, I tripped on a curb and landed on my right elbow and my face. After a lifetime of daredevil activities, including water & snow skiing, hiking in mountains, river rafting, zip-lining in tropical forests, hot-air ballooning, and a blue belt in Taekwondo, I was downed by the edge of a concrete driveway in cahoots with gravity!! Ironic, huh? A couple of days before my unfortunate accident, I atten...

By Klym ~ D ear Ex-C, I write this article with a heavy heart. I posted a comment on FaceBook that I knew would be controversial, but I never expected one of the replies I received. The reply was not posted on my FB page---my "friend" sent me a personal email this morning. I should have expected it---I don't know why I am so surprised and so deeply hurt. This friend was, after all, a Baptist missionary for many years in China. In our twenties, we were best friends---soulmates, really. He was the nearest thing to a brother that I ever had and he helped me through some horrible times in my life. I have a great deal of love and respect for this man, but his email made me cry. It seriously hurt me in the deepest part of my soul. So, I post it here and welcome your insights; in fact, I need your insights. And keep in mind that my "friend" is not a bad guy---he just honestly believes that my post was "dangerous" to the message of Jesus. ME and my tho...

By Klym ~ A few years ago I posted an article here on Ex-C about Christmas. It was titled " The Most Miserable Time of the Year " in reference to that popular Christmas song sung by Andy Williams ---only he sings the word "wonderful" instead of miserable, of course. I have been struggling with Christmas for many, many years, and I have decided to dissect my personal history with the holiday to see if I can understand why Christmas is difficult for me. So, here goes: I grew up an only adopted child with older parents who loved and supported me more than any one person probably deserves. My parents were my world---my dad was the most fun, playful person, with these twinkly eyes, a mischievious smile, and a fantastic sense of humor. My mom was quiet and reserved, but she also had a great sense of humor and was the best listener I have ever known. She was an extremely non-judgemental woman who truly lived the saying, "Don't judge another person until...

By Klym ~ I 've always been a deep thinker. I've been told throughout my life that I think too much -- that I analyze things to the nth degree. I've been told that I'm too passionate and that I need to just let things go -- that I don't have to figure everything out or make sense of everything. That I just need to have faith. I think many of us here at Ex-C have similar personalities -- it's how we managed to break free of the religious dogma we were brainwashed with since childhood. Every so often I have days of soul-searching and overthinking things. I am in the middle of an overthinking episode as I write these words. It all started last Sunday evening when my mother-in-law called. I answered the phone to hear her gasping for breath. I knew something was terribly wrong. She was able to tell me through her hyperventilating and crying that her nephew -- my husband's cousin -- was in a horrible, head-on car crash . That he, his wife, and his two chil...

By Klym ~ A s I was walking across the parking lot and into the jail lobby, I noticed some men at a table shouting, "Free hotdogs, chips, and water." I had not seen them before on my prior visits, so I continued on into the jail with my ten year old cousin (actually, she is my cousin twice-removed ) and her mother (my cousin once-removed). We were there to visit her son (the ten year old's brother) who has been incarcerated for the past two months because of problems related to his drug addictions. Twenty years prior to this I had been a caseworker at the nearby MHMR (mental health mental retardation) center and I had visited this jail occasionally to counsel inmates who had mental health issues. I thought that that long ago experience had prepared me to visit my relative, but I was wrong. It is one thing to serve a client and quite another to visit a child I had watched grow up from a wonderful, brilliant young boy to become a troubled teenager mixed up with drugs ...

By Klym ~ T he community I grew up in is just 15 miles south down the road from where I now reside. That community is in the North Central Texas area and it is the most backwards thinking, non-progressive place you can imagine. Even for Bible Belt standards, it is astoundingly behind the times. I would say they are stuck, perhaps, in the 1850's? I grew up attending a hell-fire and brimstone Southern Baptist Church there that still occupies the better part of a huge city block. If you don't attend church there or at the other huge Baptist church in town, you are NOT part of the IN crowd in that community. It's amazing how much difference 15 miles north can make---while the town I live in now is mostly Christian, our mayor is very forward thinking and religiously liberal. When the same-sex marriage law was passed, he supported it out loud and clearly stated that our city clerks would abide by the law. The mayor of my hometown, on the other hand, stated emphaticall...

By Klym ~ "I have no right to judge anyone. It's God's place to judge." T his statement was made by my best girlfriend, who I will call Friend 1, to me and another friend (Friend 2) during a conversation about religion. We were on our annual summer chick trip and were having a delicious lunch at a restaurant just outside of Austin, Texas . This conversation started when Friend 2 stated tearfully that she didn't think she was good enough for god. Now, let me say that her statement completely and totally broke my heart in two because I could so relate and because this friend is the most gracious, kind, and loving person you can imagine. She has overcome tremendous and unfair odds in her life to become a wonderful educator, friend, mother, grandmother, and mentor to many young people who adore her. To think that someone as fabulous as her feels inadequate because of Bible God made me angry and overwhelmingly sad. Both my friends know that I am a non-believe...

By Klym ~ I posted an article recently stating my intention to "come out" as a nonbeliever on my 60th birthday . I also talked about my pending retirement from 37 years as an educator--teacher/school counselor/mental health professional. I was both excited and anxious at the same time about the many significant life events happening in a short span of time. I'm happy to report that turning 60 was wonderful---no problem there. I officially retired yesterday and I welcomed it and happily embraced this new chapter of my life. I surprisingly felt no anxiety at all---only relief that I can finally REST and do whatever my heart desires for whatever time I have left on this planet. But, coming out as a non-believer?? I just haven't found the courage to do that yet. Let me explain. A week ago, my husband and I made the extremely difficult decision to euthanize one of our pets. I'll call this pet Buddy. I have always been a dog person---I have always owned a dog e...

By Klym ~ I just now read that the governor of Indiana signed a bill to give religious people the right to turn away anyone from their business because of their religious beliefs . So, does this mean that if a woman is trying to buy tampons or minipads the business owner will have the right to ask her if she is menstruating? If she answers yes, and the owner is a Bible believer, he can then tell her to get out of his store? Of course, I guess he could encourage her to buy some soap instead, because she is obviously unclean. (I'm using the pronoun "he" to indicate the business owner, but that person could also be a "she".) What a can of worms this opens for everyone. When and where will the insanity stop? Now, more than at any time in U.S. history, it is imperative that "believers" in human rights take a stand. What if someone who does not have the same religious beliefs as you is in the life saving business? Will this give them the right to sa...

By Klym ~ N ext month I will celebrate my 60th birthday. I have also decided to retire from 37 years of being an educator (public and private schools) and mental health professional (school counselor, past work in a women's shelter, and an MHMR caseworker). Both these 'events' are huge in my mind. The decision to retire is probably the hardest decision of my life, second only to the decision to divorce my first husband at the age of 20, when I attended a fundamentalist Baptist church . I am a bit terrified of the prospect of not having a job to get up for each day, and of having no "regular" paycheck. On top of all that, I am seriously thinking of coming out as an atheist, once and for all. Most of my close friends and family know that I am a non-believer, but it is very rarely discussed. My husband knows I'm an atheist and respects my intelligence and thoughtfulness on religious issues. But, he's not quite ready to give up his extremely liberal chri...

By Klym ~ For my fellow Ex-C'ers who are following the case of the anonymous whiteboard posters (see my previous article " Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays "), here is the essay I posted on the teacher's lunchroom whiteboard in response to Christian complaints of feeling marginalized because of the cancellation of the traditional Christmas sing-along at our school: H appy Holidays and/or Merry Christmas? Happy Holidays is an all-inclusive well wish that is perfectly appropriate for this season of the year. It excludes no one regardless of race, creed, or culture. It wishes all human beings joy and kindness during the holiday season . It's kind of like an all-purpose greeting---it covers all the bases and should insult no one. Merry Christmas is also a proper greeting, but by no means is it the only appropriate greeting for this time of winter solstice and the celebration of new light and life. Merry Christmas does, however, narrow down the greeting t...

By Klym ~ I was sitting in the teacher's lunchroom at the elementary school where Iwork and I was pissed off. I honestly thought I could feel smoke coming out of my ears, if that were possible. I was all alone (it was a Friday, so most teachers go off campus for lunch to celebrate the end of the work week) and I had all sorts of irreverent thoughts simmering in my brain, about to boil over. On the whiteboard in the lounge someone had anonymously written, in very large letters, with the word "Christmas" circled with red marker, the following statement: Merry Christmas! (notice, I said CHRISTMAS, not holidays!!) A little background information is in order. For the past almost 40 years (the school was founded in 1976) this small north central Texas campus has been led by three principals---all bible-believing christians. They all three let christians do and say whatever they wanted through the years. The bible was read, prayers were spoken over the in...

By Klym ~ E very day I find new reasons to be glad/relieved that I am no longer imprisoned by Christian theology. Here's a fine example that was posted on my Facebook news feed just yesterday. A former student of mine who became a Christian in her teenage years posted some Bible verses that had her really upset about celebrating Halloween. A "friend" of hers posted the following on her timeline---and I copy it verbatim: "When I taught little kids Sunday school class...we made a jack-o-lantern...but used it as a teaching tool about salvation. How we are all dirty & yucky on the inside(sin) & how if we ask Jesus to forgive our sins...He cleans out all the yucky stuff...and puts His light inside of us...so others will come to know Him from His light shining in us. Our classrooms didn't have windows...so once I put a candle in it...we turned off the light and saw just how much light one little light could give off. And we sang This Little Light of Mi...