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Sunday, March 20, 2016

20 something y/o lost girl

By Tess ~

If you told me two years ago that how someone that loves God so much can one day lose their faith in Christianity, I would have thought that would be impossible.... 2 years later, today at the age of 22, I am struggling to tell my family and friends that I no longer believe in God. When i think about telling them I worry about losing my best friends who are all Christians , disappointing my parents and losing the love ones around me. For the past year or so I had continued to go to church and small groups just to see my friends and pretend that I am a great Christian though in my mind bible studies, praying and worship means nothing to me. It has been a long time of pretending and I know that eventually I need to tell the truth. It's painful to think about the outcome and every time I think of telling them I cry. So instead I have avoid it.

It all started at the age of 19 when I went through some difficult times at university, stress and anxiety. I started making lame excuses not to go to bible studies every week and eventually chose to work on Sunday's so I can avoid going to church. At that point I knew I was struggling with my faith but never spoke out because I knew how judgemental people are and would gossip about it. So every now and then I would go back to church just so I can see my friends and pretend everything is fine.

At 20 I continued to attend church and bible studies each week. As months and months went by my friends' faiths continue to grow whereas my spiritual growth never changed for me. As everyone's spiritual life was growing closer to God meant that things in church and bible studies were changing. People started taking turns leading bible studies, church session were interactive and started praying out loud in group which puts pressure on me and this made me feel uncomfortable. End of 2014 I went on my first trip overseas to Europe to get away from things. I came back in December and the next few months was summer holidays. Church was quiet and no small groups. Just non related church hang outs with friends.

February 2015 came along quickly, school started which meant small group and regular church times started again. This point I still attended church but definitely knew I was an atheist. I completed my last semester at Uni and was the hardest couple of months with stress and the thought of self harm, but only just thoughts. I know that if I continue to live my life as a lie to my family and friends, I would not be able to take it anymore. In March I applied for a job in America and knew it was a perfect time for a gap year after I graduated and to get away from my current life. I left for my gap year in July 2015 and have never been happier. No stress of impressing my friends or family of pretending to be a good Christian going to church and small group.

I am now 22 still on my gap year travelling. It's March 2016 , been on my OE for 8 months and I have two more months before I return home. Currently I am on the train to Budapest writing this holding back tears. I have tried writing this in words many times in the past but have always failed and end up crying instead. I have come to the realisation that time is running out before I return home to face reality.

Telling the truth is always the hardest, knowing that this may upset people and may even lose the close relationships with family and friends. Lots and doubts and questions to face as this has always been a secret kept to myself for 2 years now.

But wish me luck!!!

I Swear

By Carl S ~

Have you thought of removing the words, "so help me, God" in ending the oath witnesses and defendants take after swearing to "tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" What would happen? One veteran court recorder remarked that, in his experience, "so help me, God," was no deterrent to perjury: people still went on to lie in the witness box. Defendants have been known to say things they know aren't true, sometimes several times at a hearing. You would think it would be quite the opposite, judging by the gravity of the situations involved. Why isn't this so? Is it that they know their God doesn’t care?

But before we consider this question, we might look at oath-taking involving God. One biblical scholar (John Allegro?) has said that the 2nd commandment alone, "taking the Lord's name in vain," does not refer to blasphemy. It has to do with using the name of God as one's witness to support lying under oath. If believers were aware of this, would it make a difference? I doubt it; I suspect they know the punishment for breaking this won't happen.

By placing one hand on the bible, the Christian witness makes a public gesture of being honest. To on-looking believers who assert that that book itself contains "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth," the implication is: this is the one book which is the very Unquestionable Source of Truth itself, so it's the best foundation to swear on. But is it really? Because if it's a book containing contradictions, even lies, shouldn't its writers and defenders be held up to skepticism, asked to provide evidence for their claims to be examined for truth claims, before their book is used in an evidence-finding courtroom? Shouldn't it, rather, be flung out the window? Allowing this book to be used to support an individual's truth-telling, as it is under current usage, is akin to swearing on a book of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

Religious belief is indifferent to providing evidence through all sides of issues necessary to finding out what is true. Such belief is really all about hoping. Hoping that what is believed is true or will come true. Oath taking is the hope, on the part of the affirmer, that what he/she says will be believed as true, and will be accepted as habitually unquestioningly as the bible he swore on. We have witnessed ourselves how the religious take vows with fingers crossed. A marriage vow to be faithful is, for too many, hope they will not be suspected of or caught violating that vow. Other oaths are taken with the expectation that "I hope I never have to live up to what I just said." No God involved.

Oaths are rituals, and rituals are somewhat magical, and the fusion of the two can lead to the expectation that one can, magically-backed, live up to the oaths, or even, magically, lie one's way out of them without being caught. So, oaths and faith and hope and lying, and rituals and the bible on which they’re sworn, can all be connected in a big tangled web of lies, each justifying the other. For those who do not want to take responsibility for their actions, this tangled web is habitual. And those who swear to God know that their god is impotent and absent to do anything to stop them himself. So there.

Whether in the courtroom or not, with or without "as God is my witness," this whole business of oath-taking is overdone. It's a short-cut to getting it over with. The taking of oaths is ritualistic and, seriously, rituals usually aren't taken seriously. Do immigrants who hold up their hands and pledge allegiance to a nation "under God," mean what they say? If they're Hindus, Buddhists, Atheists, Pastafarians, etc., they sure don't. Believers did, way back when the wrath of gods brought misfortune, even death, for disobeying a god. Perhaps only the most radically minded believer will still go along with those beliefs. Most of us swear not very seriously.

Let me share some information I found. Since the Enlightenment, "truth" is defined as: evidence, fact-based knowledge, being subject to verification, and falsifiable. But past civilizations interpreted “truth" far differently in their teachings. Mythology, superstition, and tall tales were mixed in with known facts, actual places and events, to make them "credible." (Backwardly, even in the 21st century, believers prefer the myth of intelligent design to the evidence for evolution.) Previously, there was no way to fact-check the unknowable. People created their own realities and explanations, just like evangelicals do today. They relied on dreams, entrails, the effects of drugs, damage or other aberrations in the abnormal brain activities of others, etc., for their "truth-access." These are some of the ways, then and now, most believers claim to "know the Truth."

Religious belief is indifferent to providing evidence through all sides of issues necessary to finding out what is true. So, fabricated truth-histories and stories were concocted to enable tribes and eventually, civilizations, to have cohesive cultures. "Truth" had an entirely different meaning then. All scriptures are birthed in that practice. Truth was what is said for effect on the audience, because the audience is willing to believe. Psychologically speaking, it makes sense that the lie-tellers themselves either came to believe their own lies, which made them all the more convincing, and/or, must have known that repetition "made them true." Simply put, what we are also describing is "religious tradition." The fact that people still won’t care about this in the 21st century is disturbing.

The fact that there are people who swear to tell the truth while placing their hands on ancient scriptures means that the methods used to promote those texts makes them acceptable in making civil judgments. If you don't want to take the responsibility of thinking about them, habitually, you'll accept bullshit "on faith." As one author put it, "Faith is Not wanting to Know what is true," even though the means for finding truth have been available for centuries now.

Why do people perjure themselves in public, even before an audience of millions watching them on TV? One reason has to do with responsibility. They don't want to believe they're responsible for their actions, or try to make excuses, or blame others, etc. And they often expect judge, jury, and observers to take their words on faith, just as they'll take claims of faith to be unquestionably true. It works for faith; why not for them?

Do believers truly believe what they claim to believe, judging by their actions, even if they swear to believe?

How Do They Dare?

by WizenedSage (Galen Rose) ~

In our regular Sunday morning meetings of the “Church of the Angry Apostates,” Carl S. and I have found ourselves repeatedly coming back to an interesting question: how do clergy commit egregious crimes against humanity, if they really believe they are being watched and judged by an all-powerful god?

A few examples from the “Black Collar Crime Blotter” of the Freethought Today newspaper, published by the Freedom from Religion Foundation, will serve to set the stage.

Loan Pop, a Romanian Orthodox priest, was convicted and sentenced for sexual assaults on 8 young adult women between 1999 and 2013. One woman testified that she was molested after seeking help from Pop while her husband was in a coma after a car accident.

Henry L. McGee, lead pastor at first Baptist Church in Austin, Texas, is accused of committing sexual acts with a girl starting in 2014, when she was 13. The girl told detectives that McGee had sex with her more than 15 times, at various locations.

Alfred H. Zavala, pastor of Luz del Mundo Christian Church in Oaxaca, Mexico, was charged with raping 2 sisters more than 100 times in a church office, starting when they were 9 and 10. They’re now 13 and 14. He allegedly told the girls it was their duty as Christians to have sex with him.

Now, I once believed there was a god watching my every move and thought and any serious moral misstep on my part would result in punishment by that god, either in the here and now, or in the hereafter. Thus, I cannot imagine even considering doing what these three men are accused of. I would have been scared stiff to even think of doing what they did. If they truly believed severe and possibly never ending punishment was a virtual certainty, how did these men dare to commit such atrocities?

I once believed there was a god watching my every move and thought and any serious moral misstep on my part would result in punishment by that god, either in the here and now, or in the hereafter. I can come up with only three possibilities of what must have gone through their minds. One, they would be forgiven via their prayers. This might appear reasonable except that all three were serial offenders. It seems to me that only a fool would think a god would forgive repeated, in-your-face transgressions like these. Two, maybe they think sex with children should not be illegal or considered immoral. It was apparently fairly common in Ancient Greece. I suppose this is a possible explanation for some transgressors, but only for a very small percentage of them. And three, the accused simply don’t believe in gods or hell and merely parrot the official dogma on Sundays to make a living.

As Carl S. and I have discussed this question numerous times over the past few years, we have jointly come to the conclusion that the vast majority of these perpetrators fit that third possibility. That is, they don’t really believe there is a god watching them. I should add here that the Black Collar Crime Blotter covers two or more full pages of each issue of the FFRF newspaper. In the issue where I got these examples, there were 65 thumbnail sketches, similar to the above, under the headings Arrested/Charged, Pleaded/Convicted, Sentenced, Civil Lawsuits Filed, Civil Lawsuits Settled, Legal Developments, Removed/Resigned, and Other. This suggests that, including those who never commit such crimes, there must be thousands of practicing clergy who don’t actually believe in god(s).

I wonder, what do you folks think? Are Carl and I right, that most such perpetrators don’t really believe in god(s)? Or are there other possible explanations for their behavior beyond the three I have suggested above?

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Christi and Athea

By Tina Rae Collins ~

My name is Christi. I worship the god Hewhay and have faith in his son Auhsey, my savior. Auhsey loves me and has promised to marry me soon. Since he is royalty, I'll become a princess! Auhsey will bestow upon me amazingly expensive gifts, including a huge mansion. I'll even rule with him over my fellow human beings. What joy that will be! It will especially be nice to have authority over the humans who don't like me (payback time!).

My best friend is Athea. Athea was raised by parents who aren't followers of Hewhay and Auhsey, so Athea can't bring herself to believe in a supernatural being who can see her when she's sleeping, knows when she's awake, and knows when she's been bad or good.

When Auhsey comes for me, he's going to torture Athea. He says he'll put out both her eyes, break her legs so that she can never walk again, and beat her in the head till she has the mind of a two-year-old and will sit around day and night drooling all over herself. She won't be able to sleep, and Auhsey says he'll make sure she can never die so she'll have to suffer forever.

Athea is a good person--the best person I know. She loves everybody and does all she can to help others. I've never heard her say an unkind word about anybody, and she's been my best friend since we were in kindergarten. But I know, because somebody wrote it in a book, that Auhsey is right to inflict great punishment and suffering on my friend Athea. I told her she should believe, so it will be her own fault when Auhsey pounces on her and beats the living daylights out of her.

Does it all make sense to me? Well, no, not really. I mean, truth be told, I cannot imagine a god who would reward my complete and total narcissism! Although I know Auhsey plans to bring down unfathomable pain and misery on my best friend just because she wasn't raised to believe in him and can't accept fantastic stories written by human beings who know no more than she does, I still long for him to come (and quickly!) so I can be rewarded with pleasures. I look forward with great anticipation to watching my friend endure terrible abuse and mistreatment just so I myself can live a life of ease and gratification.

So, yeah, it doesn't SEEM right, but I know it is. I must somehow deserve Auhsey's goodness since I believe in him, while Athea deserves his wrath since she doesn't. So I will praise Auhsey for his vengeance and holy righteousness in torturing my dear Athea because it's what she has merited whether I understand it or not. Auhsey's thoughts are not mine. Obviously I simply can't understand concepts like justice and the difference between right and wrong. But, whew, whatever the reasons, I'm glad it's Athea being punished and me being rewarded!

I'm so excited! (PLEASE come quickly, Auhsey!) I'm going to be a princess! I'll receive amazing gifts! I'll live in a mansion and rule over other people, who will be forced to bow down and grovel to ME! Praise Auhsey! He is awesome because he is good to ME!

Website: http://www.mykentuckybooks.com/

The Godfather and the Judge

By Carl S ~

There are millions of hucksters selling products promising eternal life to "souls." Christian salesmen are the worst, because they tell people eternal life is granted through the "grace of God," and "grace" means "given free." But it's not, since they keep asking for money to pay for "it." (Some buyers most sincerely believe their products are "to die for.") What they're selling is an escape plan out of death, by saying everyone has a "soul" surviving death. My sister was a buyer. She was what I'd call syncretic Catholic; she lived in poverty, and regularly sent money to those salesmen. She would tell me about heaven, and how Mary would let you in the window of heaven if St. Peter wouldn't let you in through the pearly gates!

With religions, it's what their hucksters are not saying that lays at the heart of "soul." They cannot conceive the thought of how brain/mind/personality/body interdependent connectedness creates the illusion of a soul in the first place. The reality is this: We are all, in popular terms, "all-natural," whether we like it or not. There is no "Save" button for the all-natural, material mind/brain/personality, function after it's shut off. It's easy to find evidence supporting this. Start exploring how mind/body/personality are interdependent vs. the fantasy of "soul," by reading "Urge," by Oliver Sacks, and go on to read more by him.

There's this weird sense humans have; the belief that their minds are separate from their brains. People look for confirmation for this, gobbling up "out-of-body” testimonials like they're eating popcorn during an adventure movie. Ghost stories are perennial entertainments, including those of traditional god-men who resurrect from the dead after out-of-body- vacations. When these myths originated, the tellers believed bodies could be "re-inhabited;" although they'd be brain-dead after they were "dis-inhabited!" Well, it's really all about hope. It's said that, "where there's life, there's hope." (Religious people believe this: in fact, when I posited the possibility of a non-believer changing his mind after death, when they claimed he/she would be faced with real "evidence," they said it would be too late to be "saved!" (They ought to know, right?) I do believe in hope while there's life; otherwise I wouldn't keep trying to introduce reality into their thick skulls. Hope. Does the rabbit hope for heaven when in the jaws of the fox? None of them have weighed in on this subject yet.

There is no "reset" button after death. Without an operating brain, there's no mind or personality, and the tales of an independent "soul" manipulating a mind/brain are themselves delusional mind tricks. Yet adult people are willing to believe their minds are separate from their bodies, which makes no sense. You can prove this; just try lifting any object, however light, using your mind alone. Obviously this doesn’t work. If it did, you wouldn't need to lift a fork or spoon to eat.

For many years, my wife and I visited friends and others who've descended into Alzheimer’s or dementia. We've watched "souls" fade away before our eyes. Their personalities do seem to remain somewhat, more out of habit than awareness, as memories become mottled and vacate. Their material minds are fading and dispersing along with their brains. This is what is known as "reality." I've asked myself how anyone would judge them as they go through these stages. Because, you see, they're not the same persons we knew. What if they even led not -so- virtuous lives, unknown to us? Now look at them: they’re innocent and harmless, existing in a biblical "before the Fall" state of not knowing good and evil; the “perfect" condition desired by their creator. I keep thinking, aren't God, Jesus, Satan and salvation meaningless words to them at that point?

There's this weird sense humans have; the belief that their minds are separate from their brains.At the finale of "The Godfather" movie, Don Corleone dies a private, non-violent death while tending his garden; not the sort of death we might expect for a man who spent so much of his life violently ending the lives of others. Believers will tell us, "His soul will go to hell to pay for his crimes." This they maintain despite their other belief: "Whoever is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned," which tells them differently. Belief itself will grant him exemption from hell. As a Catholic, he sure did believe. He was a believer who godfather- sponsored the baptisms of children. Without those facts, consider "him" as an actual person after death. How can his God judge and punish his eventual mind-less shell? This God itself, like every other god, only exists as a human mind conception, tailored to each individual's fantasies. But when an individual's consciousness ceases to be, so God the judge also dies at the same time as the individual's mind dies. If you become an atheist, God dies before you do.

Reality just is. Unless something is done to stop or catch them, people will get away with murder. Sometimes the innocent are incarcerated for the crimes of the guilty. And in the pursuit of an ideal, men will destroy other men. What is likewise unfortunate is living in preparation for a supernatural after-death, for even if there was "something else," there would still be no "you" to experience it. The Universe itself existed before you were born, and will exist for billions of years after you die. You will not miss it before or after, and for the same reason. And what a ghastly idea, to live forever with no end, ever! I'd much rather go to sleep and never wake up. Life is too precious to waste a moment of it on religions promising escape from death. There is profundity in maturely facing the eventual ending of one’s life honestly, without the magical thinking of immortality. There is a freedom in living with our senses open, experiencing goodness, joys and tragedies of all shades and varieties while living as long as we live, and so we understand: The shallowness of religion cannot begin to approach this freedom.

From "The Fire Next Time," by James Baldwin: "Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the sun inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last, last time. Perhaps the root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, which is the only fact we have."

This Site for Christian Education

By Carl S ~

Some explanations an individual will give for believing: "I feel God's presence in my heart." And: "Millions believe as I do." One time, I pointed out how one cleric told me I would enter heaven merely by being a good person, while another cleric said I would not if I didn't accept Jesus. The believer said, “Well, that's his opinion." Some people, rather than talk about the existence of their god or the supernatural when you give a reason why they don't exist, will avoid discussing these things, by saying, “Well, that's your opinion."

Everyone has feelings, beliefs, and opinions. Feelings, beliefs, and opinions are neither good nor bad, virtuous nor evil. You're real, you can't help having feelings. You may feel lust in your heart for a woman or a man, or feel, "I could kill him for that," or you'll fluctuate between feelings of embracing or punching someone. Feelings vary constantly and change. Sometimes they can do a 180 degree turnaround. (As when intense feelings are reined in by reason; then positive changes lead to positive actions.) People can have feelings for fictional characters; millions of past believers felt the presence of their gods. The people and issues you come to care about can manipulate your feelings. Clerics, cult leaders, bosses, politicians, etc., all take advantage of vulnerable feelings. You can't trust feelings alone to make decisions. Many a man or woman has been devastated emotionally by a spouse they knew in their heart loved them.

Only the actions followed through from feelings, opinions, and beliefs, are good or evil. Since so many actions resulting from religious beliefs, feelings, and opinions, have turned out to have evil consequences, this is reason enough to distrust them. Also, there must be some reason why all true believers are fearful, whenever even kidding about the bizarre beliefs they hold to be absolutely true gets them agitated, troubled, even very angry. Isn’t it fascinating to find that simple, reasonable questions and viewpoints are the archenemies of faiths? Maybe we need to educate ourselves as to why this is so, to deal with it.

Maybe another site would open up a discussion about the relationships among beliefs, opinions, feelings, even tastes. (Isn't picking a denomination a matter of taste?) We can be assured religious sites are telling their readers that lustful or vengeful feelings are evil. This is one example of the weird and misinformed “Christian education guidance" they promote. It's all one sided; try to inject a reasonable inquiry that's a challenge to blind faith, and you'll be banned forever. (Religions are fond of banning forever. Take hell, for instance.) There's a whole lotta manipulatin' of feelings going on.

Is ExChristian. net a major source for Christian education? You'd better believe it. (Where else will Christians hear about the Council of Nicea?) Okay, previously I wrote in "Christian Education is an oxymoron" in the negative about this subject. In that, I defined true "education" as a method to deduce truth from falsehood, with emphasis on considering all evidence pro and con, in order to do so. "Christian Education" signs posted on churches, web sites, and in bible study classes, have nothing to do with true education. They are indoctrinational, meaning that which is picked and chosen for propaganda purposes only. To paraphrase some philosophical authors: Facts, under such "education," cease to exist because they are ignored, and an astounding amount of unbelief is required to keep belief possible. These are established facts about dogmatic belief systems

Christians are ignorant about their faith. One way to become un-ignorant is through information available on ExChristian.The "Christian education" I'm referring to here means education "for" Christians, and as an extension, for all dogmatic believers, as well as seculars. How do we know this? Well, one thing we find if we pay attention to and/or question them: Christians are ignorant about their faith. One way to become un-ignorant is through information available on ExChristian. The site is therefore an educational one. Here, every aspect of religious belief is covered, and questions considering theological and biblical debates forbidden to be spoken about in church circles or bible class discussions are openly addressed. Here is a wonderland, a new world they are never exposed to. Come fly with us.

Here, believers will find rational debates, personal testimonies, and references to the many historical sources for Christianity they never knew existed. There are books recommended to answer their questions. Whether they have doubts about what they've been taught or merely seek to strengthen their convictions, they’re still exposed to knowledge and open-mindedness. This includes the reasons why others are not convinced as they are, or who once were just as convinced, and why they no longer are. One is free here, where even those who agree can disagree, without guilt or threats of hellfire, bodily harm, or any other psychological or conscience-punishments. The only reason to fear ExChristian is fear itself.

One of my Christian Right relatives presented me with a wager, in her kitchen. She told me to "bet on God’s existence," saying that if I do, I gain heaven, and if I'm wrong, I've lost nothing. This implies, of course, that her god wouldn't know if I was being insincere. So, I'm using a different kind of wager with her: Go ahead and bet I'm wrong about this site. If your faith is strong, what have you lost‘? You're more convinced. What have you got to lose‘? I'm considering sending her a card with an Easter Bunny on it, saying, "Don't believe in the Easter Bunny? Go ahead, just believe. What have you got to lose?" (Gee, I never knew the requirement for admission to everlasting bliss was just as easy!) Just try and find such fresh-air free speech on Christian sites!

Does God speak through scripture? Yes and no

By John Draper ~

All religions have scripture, the word of God funneled through specific men. Which, when you think about it, it’s an admission that God doesn’t speak to the mass of us. That is, we yearn and yearn to hear what God wants from us—but He’s silent and invisible. He says nothing. So, desperate, we cast about for someone human to give us revelation—an Oracle.
Consider the early Christians. They had no scripture, as such, just stories passed around the campfire about Jesus, which was fine. Really, there was no need for parsing theological niceties. The world was about to end. Just make sure you’re wearing clean underwear.
But, as it turns out, the world didn’t end. Jesus didn’t return—which was an embarrassment, frankly. Once they explained this all away, the early Christians set about looking for scripture. They needed the silent God to speak.
What they had were letters Paul had written to various churches, letters that are full of contradictions and half-formed theology. So they called them scripture eventually. And then the gospels were written, all influenced by the theology of Paul and each composed by and for a different Jesus community. The most popular of these gospels became scripture. Survival of the Fittest.
Ergo scripture.
But we’re no better off than we were without scripture. It’s not like scripture really solves the whole problem of Knowing God’s Will. The Bible’s often vague and confusing. Want to start a fight? Go to your local bar, expound loudly about your assuredness of What Scripture Says and watch the fur fly.
Scripture doesn’t solve anything, as I’ve already said. People piss and fight over correct doctrine endlessly, each citing verses, often the very same verses.But what makes us think that the God Who Hides would suddenly open Himself up to the various authors of scripture? If He could do that, why not just reveal revelation to everyone? Why the intermediary of scripture? Just talk to us. But He doesn’t. He hides.
Ergo scripture.
And it’s all about how to please God—not really stuff we need. If God can reveal Himself to men and women, why not reveal the cure for cancer? Lord, just reveal it to one scientist! Doesn’t haven’t to be everyone. Just one guy, like when you told Paul the secrets of the Godhead. Is it really that crucial that we have correct doctrine—that we have a correct understanding of God? Is God even understandable?
Why is that so important?
We just accept the fact that God has given us doctors and scientists to ferret out the mysteries of life and death, but correct doctrine, correct doctrine is so important that He’s going to circumvent all this and speak specifically to select men and women—mostly men—who will write down what they hear and hand it off to the rest of us hapless boobs. But, ironically, scripture doesn’t solve anything, as I’ve already said. People piss and fight over correct doctrine endlessly, each citing verses, often the very same verses.
So what’s my point? Go ahead and read your scripture. But pick and choose what you’ll attend to. Use your brain. Focus more on reason than revelation. All holy books are full of gems. But you’re just as likely to encounter profound truth over a beer with a buddy—or by reading The Brothers Karamazov. Or having really good sex. Or getting high—it will be legal everywhere pretty soon. (I recommend edibles) Truth is everywhere waiting to be discovered.
John Draper is the author of the novel A Danger to God Himself.
John Draper is the author of the novel A Danger to God Himself
- See more at: http://johnfdraper.com/

Evangelical Christianity’s Brand Is Used Up

By Valerie Tarico ~


The Evangelical “brand” has gone from being an asset to a liability, and it is helpful to understand the transition in precisely those terms."

Back before 9/11 indelibly linked Islam with terrorism, back before the top association to “Catholic priest” was “pedophile,” most Americans—even nonreligious Americans—thought of religion as benign. I’m not religious myself, people would say, but what’s the harm if it gives someone else a little comfort or pleasure.

Back then, people associated Christianity with kindness and said things like, “That’s not very Christian of him,” when a person acted stingy or mean; and nobody except Evangelical Christians knew the difference between Evangelicalism and more open, inquiring forms of Christianity.

Those days are over. Islam will be forever tainted by Islamist brutalities, by images of bombings, beheadings, and burkas. The collar and cassock will forever evoke the image of bishops turning their backs while priests rub themselves on altar boys. And thanks to the fact that American Evangelical leaders sold their congregations to the Republican Party in exchange for political power, Evangelical Christianity is now distinctive—and widely despised.

Another way to put this is that the Evangelical “brand” has gone from being an asset to a liability, and it is helpful to understand the transition in precisely those terms.

How Brand Assets Get Depleted

In the business world, a corporation sometimes buys or licenses a premium brand in order to either upgrade their own brand desirability or to sell a lower quality product. Coca-Cola acquired Odwalla for example. Dean Foods acquired Silk soy milk. Target and Walmart license various designer labels for their made-in-China housewares and clothes. Donald Trump sells his name to real estate developers who use it to set an expectation of quality.

Once a premium brand or label is acquired, the parent company often uses the premium label to sell an inferior product. Alternately, if they acquired the whole company rather than just the name, they may gradually change the product, ratcheting down input costs (and quality) to the point that the premium brand becomes just another commodity. The profit advantage comes from the fact that it takes people a while to notice and change their brand perceptions. Also, being creatures of habit, a person may stick with a familiar brand even though the quality of the product itself has changed. In this way, a corporation can draw down the value of a brand the way that a person might draw down a bank account.

Republican Acquisition of the Evangelical “Brand”

A generation ago, the Republican Party realized that Evangelical Christianity could be a valuable acquisition. “Evangelical” had righteous, “family values” brand associations, the unassailable name of Jesus, the authority of the Bible, and the organizing infrastructure and social capital of Evangelical churches. Republican operatives courted Evangelical leaders and promised them power and money—the power to turn back the clock on equal rights for women and queers, and the glitter of government subsidies for church enterprises including religious education, real estate speculation, and marketing campaigns that pair social services with evangelism.

As in any story about selling your soul, Evangelical leaders largely got what they bargained for, but at a price that only the devil fully understood in advance. Internally, Evangelical communities can be wonderfully kind, generous and mutually supportive. But today, few people other than Evangelical Christians themselves associate the term “Evangelical” with words like generous and kind. In fact, a secular person is likely to see a kind, generous Evangelical neighbor as a decent person in spite of their Christian beliefs, not because of them.

The Evangelical brand is so depleted and tainted at this point that Russell Moore, a prominent leader of the Southern Baptist Convention recently said that he will no longer call himself an “Evangelical Christian,” thanks—he implied—to association between Evangelicals and Trump. Instead he is using the term “Gospel Christian”—at least till the 2016 election is over. While Trump has received endorsements from Evangelical icons including Jerry Falwell, Jr. and Pat Robertson, other Evangelical leaders (e.g. here, here) have joined Moore in lamenting the deep and wide Evangelical attraction to Trump, which they say is antithetical to their values.

But how much, really, is the Trump brand antithetical to the Evangelical brand? Humanist commentator James Croft argues that Trump is what Evangelicalism, in the hands of the Religious Right, has become:
“The religious right in America has always been a political philosophy based on bullying, pandering, projecting strength to hide fear and weakness, and proud, aggressive ignorance. That’s what it’s been about from the beginning. Trump has merely distilled those elements into a decoction so deadly that even some evangelicals are starting to recognize the venom they have injected into American culture.”

Croft says that Pastors like Joel Osteen and Rick Warren use Jesus as a fig leaf “to drape over social views that would otherwise be revealed as nakedly evil.”

As a former Evangelical, I have to side with Croft: the Evangelical brand problem is much bigger than Trump and his candidacy or the morally-bankrupt priorities and theocratic aspirations of fellow Republican candidates Cruz and Rubio. Evangelicals may use the name of Jesus for cover, but even Jesus is too small a fig leaf to hide the fact outsiders looking at Evangelical Christianity see more prick than heart.

Here is what the Evangelical brand looks like from the outside:

As in any story about selling your soul, Evangelical leaders largely got what they bargained for, but at a price that only the devil fully understood in advance.Evangelical means obsessed with sex. Evangelicals are so desperate to fend off their own complicated sexual desires and self-loathing that they would rather watch queer teens commit suicide than deal with their homophobia. They abhor youth sexuality and female sexual pleasure to the point that they have driven an epidemic of teen pregnancy, unintended pregnancy and abortion—all because accurate information and contraceptive access might let the wrong kind of people (young unmarried and female people) have sex for the wrong reasons (pleasure and intimacy) without suffering for it.

Evangelical means arrogant. Wheaton College put Evangelical arrogance on national display when administrators decided to suspend and then fire a professor who dared to suggest that Muslims, Jews and Christians all worship the same God.

Evangelical means fearful and bigoted. While more secular Europeans and Canadians offer aid to Syrian refugees, Evangelical Christians have instead sought to exclude Muslims. They have used their vast empire of telecommunications channels to inspire not charity but fear of imminent Sharia in the U.S. and of refugees more broadly. They have urged that Latin American refugees be sent home so that we can build a wall across the southern border before they come back.

Evangelical means indifferent to truth. Evangelicals refuse to acknowledge what is obvious to everyone else, including most other Christians—that the Bible is a human document woven through with moral and factual imperfections. Treating the Bible like the literally perfect word of God has forced Bible believers to make a high art out of self-deception, which they then apply to other inconvenient truths. They rewrite American History, embrace faux news, defend in court the right of “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” to lie, and force doctors to do the same. The end justifies the means.

Evangelical means gullible and greedy. From televangelists and Prosperity Gospel to adulation of Ronald Reagan and Ayn Rand, Evangelicalism faces the world as a religion of exploiters and exploited—both of which are hoping to make a quick buck.

Evangelical means ignorant. The only way to protect creationism is to keep people from understanding how science works and what scientists have discovered. As evidence accumulates related to evolutionary biology, insulating children requires a constant battle to keep accurate information out of textbooks. Insulating adults requires cultivating a deep suspicion of science and scholarship, an anti-intellectualism that diffuses out from this center and defines Evangelical culture at large.

Evangelical means predatory. Evangelical missionaries prey on the young and ignorant. They have fought all the way to the Supreme Court to ensure they can proselytize children in public grade schools. Having failed to block marriage equality in the States, they export Bible based gay-hate to Central Africa, where gays are more vulnerable. Since Americans lost interest in tent revivals, evangelists now cast out demons, heal the sick and raise the dead among uneducated low-information people in developing countries.

Evangelical means mean. Opposing anti-poverty programs, shaming and stigmatizing queers, making it harder for poor women to prevent pregnancy, blaming rape victims, diverting aid dollars into church coffers, threatening little kids with eternal torture, supporting war, denying the rights of other species, . . . need I go on?

Laid out like this—sex-obsessed, arrogant, bigoted, lying, greedy, ignorant, predatory and mean—one understands why a commentator like Croft might say that Trump is Evangelicalism. But reading closer, it becomes clear that Trump and Cruz and Rubio are not the problem.

Despite the best efforts of reformers like Rachel Held Evans, the Evangelical brand is toxic because of the stagnant priorities and behaviors of Evangelicals themselves. Desperate to safeguard an archaic set of social and theological agreements, Evangelical leaders bet that if they could secure political power they could force a halt to moral and spiritual evolution. They themselves wouldn’t have to grow and change.

They also believed that they could get something for nothing, that they could sell their brand and keep it too. They couldn’t have been more wrong.

Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light and Deas and Other Imaginings, and the founder of www.WisdomCommons.org. Her articles about religion, reproductive health, and the role of women in society have been featured at sites including AlterNet, Salon, the Huffington Post, Grist, and Jezebel. Subscribe at ValerieTarico.com.

Sunday, March 06, 2016

What Were You Doing?

By Carl S ~

For years, the big question was, "What were you doing on the day John F. Kennedy was assassinated?" Everybody who was asked that question remembered.

Detail of The School of Athens by Raphael, 150...
Detail of The School of Athens by Raphael, 1509, showing Zoroaster (left, with star-studded globe). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Later it became, "Do you remember what you were doing the morning of Sep. 11, 2001? I remember, for it was a morning after my wife and I just finished our lovemaking. We got a phone call telling us to "tum on the TV, now." Isn't this how life works? While we made love, others were making war. Every day, birthday parties, marriages, raves, and celebrations of every kind and intensity play out, while thousands, at the same moments suffer and die from preventable wars and diseases. You'd think that if there really was a caring deity constantly observing this picture, said deity would do something to spread around its blessings. But it doesn't, because it isn't.

We saw the first tower aflame, and watched as the second tower was hit. Ironically, at the same time we were experiencing the ecstasies of love, others were dying in agonies, being burnt alive, or jumping to their deaths. Everything we heard or saw in the following days resulted from the decisions of those “instruments of God" hit men driving planes into self-immolating ecstasies of religious conviction.

But does anyone remember, on that day or the days of mourning that followed, one single politician or cleric saying, "We trusted in God, and see what happened?" Did anyone from the families of those killed in the towers say, "But they prayed to be delivered from evil before they went in this morning. Why weren't they?" Instead we saw even more retreating into the religious irrationality and fervor behind those attacks. Ecumenical services were held to praise and appeal to the very versions of a deity who did nothing to prevent them. The same beliefs and mentalities that brought the real end of the world to the thousands who died on that day are those behind the end-times of Christianity and Islam. Real lives ended as a result of the belief that only fantasy after-death lives have meaning. So many years after 9/11, this belief is still justifying killings. When will they ever learn? Their dogmas originated not from Mohammed or Jesus, but from a Persian prophet who lived 2600 years ago.

Ever since Zoroaster invented his versions of reality, Islam and Christianity have subscribed to them. He created a monotheist god. He saw everything in terms of absolute good and evil, a.k.a., the powers of darkness and light. He taught that humans needed to constantly make the right choices between these two absolutes or suffer the consequences. He interpreted nature not as a linear progression going from the beginning of the world to its destruction, climaxing with a final judgement of punishments or rewards on the choices they made. Christian and Islam clerics ever since have created their own variations-on-a-theme theologies using his basic recipe, with Christianity inserting an easy-out clause to evildoers via believing. Therefore, condemnation and rewards are decided not because of actions, but belief or non-belief.

When believers speak of God and Satan, they're mouthing Zoroaster. When the author of Revelations writes of the End Times, he's perpetuating the dogmas of this Persian, Zoroaster, who predated Jesus and Paul by 600 years. Christians say they believe in the end of the world/judgement because their Jesus preached it was imminent; right around the comer. Believers have been known to abandon their possessions every time the "end of the world" is prophesied and taken seriously. Don't expect the spokesmen for Islam and Christianity to give credit where credit is due: to Zoroaster, any more than they do to the other religions they stole from. As far as is known, Zoroaster wasn't challenged about his dogmas in his day (or his challengers were eliminated), anymore than clerics are today. But he (they) ought to have been. After all, in 150 years the theory of Evolution is continually proven to be fact, and yet it's challenged by superstitious believers who also maintain their claims are beyond challenging after thousands of years without proof.

To get back to the Twin Towers and "in God we trust." Since this "God" is untrustworthy, maybe those who publicly invoke "him" should explain what "God" means to them. Instead of referring to gods as "god," ( small " g"), maybe they should be capitalized; after all, they're all worshiped as capital "G." Not only Allah, but Ahura-Mazda, Baal, Ra, etc. They are likewise God. Stop the average person on the street, of whatever religion, and ask their definition of "God," then ask for particulars. You'll find they’re all over the map. Maybe this is because their clergy are there, too. And seriously, if someone asks you if you believe in "God" you might respond with, "Which God, which Version?" Which God-versions were the clergy and politicians invoking in their post-9/11 services? Which versions are they experts on? We’d like to know.

When we see the pope (who believes the cracker he's holding in his hand is a human being because he's said magic words over it) at a meeting with the Russian Orthodox patriarch, or when we listen to the "inerrant" bible-thumping Baptists and Catholic priests (who proclaim abortionists are equal to Nazi Dr. Josef Mengele), or when we observe them backing a Mormon "heretic" for president, or when the various sects who were formerly enemies unite in some sort of overt ecumenical peace-making, be it known their intent and goal is the same: Destroy the movement of secularism. Well, it's secularism which brought us democracy, equal rights, women’s and gay rights. Secularism is behind all movements to promote and improve living better lives, together, in peace. That secularism is what they insist must be stamped out: Because it isn't God's laws. The religions still uphold Zoroaster's dogmas. But they will interpret what "God's laws" are in order for everybody to pass muster at the final judgement. Isn't this so true? Theocracy is tyranny. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. All tyrannical pushes for power are threatened by anyone who says, "Who needs you or what you're selling?" because that person opens the door for others who just might be "blasphemously" inclined to think about those words.

So here we are in the 21st century with religions perpetuating the dogmas of a 6th century BCE prophet who probably derived his versions of reality from eating too many green apples and/or sacred mushrooms, or was mentally ill - all likely descriptions of every sacred prophet. And we still have believers listening to clerics preaching their own versions of Zoroaster’s original dogmas, rather than established evidence they refuse to consider. Interestingly, they also oppose secularism. Their militant ignorance is what rational, secular people are dealing with.

Question to mullahs concerning worshipers in the mosques: If thousands of them place their knees on their prayer rugs and then their foreheads, and then they all together fart, will Allah be offended, or will they all remain in place holding their noses shut while they pray? Just asking you experts. Is this blasphemy to you? I'll tell you what is blasphemy: the theology driving the imaginations of men who piloted planes which killed thousands. What were you doing on 9/11? Praying for their entrance into paradise?

Was That Sarcasm?

By Carl S ~

Anyone familiar with the TV series "The Big Bang Theory" will recognize this question as coming from its character, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, the genius who has trouble relating with us "common" humans. Whether or not part of his problem is due to his being raised by an evangelical mother explains this, we may never know. But it's possible.

List of The Big Bang Theory episodes (season 1)
List of The Big Bang Theory episodes (season 1)
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Wizened Sage and I have noticed that ex-Christians have problems whenever I write sarcasm. In fact, he re-titled my recent submission, lest it be misinterpreted as completely serious, because of this problem. I remember when, years ago, I wrote "My personal relationship with God," which threw responders into ga-ga land. This piece was a takeoff on the oft-heard claim of believers that they do have such a personal relationship. I was making the point that, without actually seeing, hearing, touching, etc. a real person, the relationship is an unconfirmable and ridiculous "experience" - all in one’s head. (Of course, it didn't help that the piece featured a painting of a voluptuous woman.) This was not the first time readers failed to grasp the sarcasm. I think there's a good reason behind this that makes sense. Think about it.

We've probably all read the commentary that religious claims are so far out and ridiculous that you and I can make up our own and submit them as actual, and believers wouldn't know the difference. But we don’t really need to test this out; we can scan claims of the various religions and see how this works. (A good and fast source for this is Bill Maher's movie, "Religulous." Observe the reactions of believers when he points out facts to them.) As practicing believers, you yourself were absorbing nonsensical dogmas without thinking or questioning, leaving you open to not being able to tell crap from fact. Don’t feel alone; billions of believers live that way, every day. I've noticed once, when making my personal sarcastic comments to a believer about scriptural "truths," getting this response: "You're insulting my God." And I can see how he came to that conclusion; he thinks the words of scripture are the words of his god, no matter how contradictory or ridiculous they are. All sarcasm has a bite in its intent, as in, to quote Mark Twain, "Faith is believing what you know ain’t so." We on the outside of religions can and do imagine scriptural writers making their stuff up, knowing their listeners will be gullible enough to accept it without analyzing it. Being aware of when something is for real or if it's sarcasm is very important. Even more important is knowing how to tell the difference, because it means being able to separate fact from fiction. Being seriously religious means you’re seriously gullible.

While waiting for my wife after her church service, I had a discussion with one of her church members in the parking lot. In the course of this, she reminded me that she is "much older than you," implying her age conferred wisdom I had yet to acquire. (She is over 90. My sister was short of 90 when she died, and I’ve known others in their 80's and 90's who didn't learn, either.) Topics she brought up were Earth warming, climate change and weather. I noticed she did not know the difference between climate and weather. She also informed me that planes were flying over most nations, dumping mists into their atmospheres to "poison the brains" of their citizens. This Woman is a believer in and promoter of "alternative" medicine. Her attitude is to mistrust scientists. And strangely enough, as we ended up, although she said about our several topics, "We may never know," and I told her, "That's why we have scientists, so they can research and find the answers," she agreed! These examples show how a believer unthinkingly accepts all kinds of nonsense, not just religious nonsense. And I think this is typical. Whether this is part of the DNA of some people that attracts them to religious/irrational beliefs or vice versa, I'll leave you to ponder.

Just one more thing: While making notes for this topic, I sometimes looked up to see the program my wife was watching, "Deal or No Deal." She gets very involved with the choices contestants make, and angry at their determination to choose without thinking first. Sometimes, she'll even shout out, "Take it and leave!" It's obvious why people get so emotionally involved: the whole program takes place in a bottled-up, very psychologically intense atmosphere. It's a gambling casino for the masses watching, too. Contestants sometimes throw away hundreds of thousands of dollars in taking chances. My wife can’t comprehend how any thinking person could be so foolish. Well, during this game, I mentioned suicide bombers. (Once in a while, I'll do s**t like that.) Irritated, she asked, "What has that to do with this?" So I told her, "Suicide bombers gamble and blow away their lives to gain a paradise that doesn't exist. They'd be better off to walk away with the lives they have." I was being not sarcastic, but serious. Did she get the seriousness? I think she was too involved with the program, like too many people who are so involved with believing nonsense that they don't notice.

I write these words while inspired by the lipstick mark God made on the glass in front of me. Wait. Was that sarcasm? Don't insult my God!

HEAVEN, HELL AND HILLSONG: I WAS A TEENAGE FUNDAMENTALIST

By Tim Weston ~

The following is an excerpt from Tim Weston's book, Heaven, Hell and Hillsong.



Chapter 4 – CHERYL’S STORY

Cheryl Fisk was born into the Revival Centres. Both her parents had been converted in the Melbourne assembly under Pastor Lloyd’s preaching. Neither of Cheryl’s parents could be called smart. In fact, they were both a bit simple. It’s not that they were mentally retarded, but it would be fair to say they were both challenged by the everyday. Before marrying her husband Harold, Cheryl’s mother Mavis had been caught having an affair with one of the high profile elders of the church, James Sweet, a married up-and-coming young pastor in the church. He showed great potential for leadership and most certainly would have made it had that Jezebel Mavis not found her way into his bed. When Pastor Lloyd found out about the affair, he was bitterly disappointed in Mavis, but even more so in Sweet. He removed him from leadership and Sweet was never quite the man he had once been, even though his wife stood by him. In spite of the Bible’s words on grace and forgiveness, Pastor Lloyd never really forgave either of them.
Harold Fisk probably knew about Mavis’s transgression, these kinds of stories had a way of travelling around the assembly very quickly. He chose to marry her in spite of it all and they seemed to be a very good match.
Their daughter Cheryl was born not long after. Mavis and Harold loved her and did all they could to make sure she had a good life. As a little girl she attended Sunday School and knew the church beliefs inside out. She was far smarter than both her parents combined, but their limitations prevented her from reaching her full potential and she dropped out of school to work at K-Mart at fifteen years old. With her red spiked haircut, she came across as slightly boyish and butch. While she wasn’t any kind of pretty, she was certainly far from ugly.
At seventeen years old she met Rick at a Youngies meeting. He was in his mid-twenties, a convert to the church and attended the city assembly. He was the first boy from church who had ever shown an interest in her, so she quickly to responded to his advances. They went out a couple of times and decided they should seek permission from the church oversight to become official. In the Revival Centres, you couldn’t date whoever you liked. You had to ask your pastor for permission to become involved with a member of the opposite sex. The oversight agreed to the relationship and so Cheryl and Rick were a couple.
Cheryl thought Rick was great. He would open doors for her, drive her around in his Datsun and buy her little gifts. When they were alone, Rick was a real gentleman. They would kiss sometimes in his car, but it was all very innocent. He never tried to put his hands where he shouldn’t or talk her into putting her hands where she didn’t want to. He called her a few times a day and asked her where she’d been, who she’d been with and what she’d been doing. She loved the attention and was happy to tell him all he wanted to know.
One night while watching television at his house, things got a little hot and heavy. While kissing, Rick slid his hand under Cheryl’s bra and squeezed her left tit. She was shocked at first but she enjoyed the thrill of it. She knew she should have stopped him but she liked it and wasn’t sure how to respond. Instead of moving his hand, she let him keep feeling her up. She didn’t mean for it to happen, but by the end of the night, he had his fingers inside her and she had his dick in her hand.
For the next few weeks the guilt was crushing.
If there was one thing her mother and the church warned her about, it was loose morals. She felt terrible about what had happened. Luckily they hadn’t actually had sex, so she hadn’t crossed the line, not yet. Rick felt bad too and so they decided not to let it happen again. They set boundaries on how and where they would be alone together and kept to them.
After a few weeks, Rick’s interrogations started to make Cheryl uncomfortable and they fought every time they were alone together. Cheryl began to really dislike Rick and after one very intense fight she told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. Rick was devastated. He tried to patch things up over the next few days but in the end, she even stopped taking his calls. She avoided him at church and Youngies and so the relationship was declared officially over and the pastors were notified.
About a month later, Cheryl’s mother Mavis received a phone call from Pastor Jim Irving requesting a meeting that night with her family. Mavis obliged but she knew that something was wrong. Revival Centre pastors only made house calls when something was very wrong. When Pastor Jim arrived in his oversized brown suit with beige shirt and beige tie, he was not smiling. Harold ushered him in and the family all sat in the good room. The family only ever sat in the good room when they had visitors. Mavis made Pastor Jim a cup of tea and then he spoke, ‘Rick has come forward and said that he and Cheryl committed fornication one night at his house. Cheryl, this is very serious and you know the repercussions.’ The room was completely silent as Cheryl and her family sat there in stunned disbelief. Cheryl could see the tears begin to well up in her mother’s eyes and so she all but shouted,
‘That’s not true! We didn’t do it! Never!’
‘Cheryl there is no point denying it. Rick has already confessed the whole story to Pastor John last night.’
‘I don’t know what he said, but I never did it. I promise Pastor Jim! I promise!’ Harold and Mavis sat there and didn’t utter a word. Cheryl was now crying and so her mother put her arm around her. Pastor Jim just looked at them all stonily. He turned to Harold and said,
‘She can lie all she wants but the boyfriend has confessed. You know the rules Harold. They’ll both be put out of the church for three to six months and they’ll have to marry. If they don’t then neither of them will be allowed to return to fellowship, ever!’ Harold, feeling very insulted by the accusations Pastor Jim threw at his little girl, looked straight back at him and said,
‘Pastor, if my daughter said she didn’t do it then she didn’t do it! She’s not marrying anybody! We’ll take this right to Pastor Lloyd if we have to!’
‘Pastor Lloyd is well aware of this situation and it is he who made this decision, so there’s no point going to him,’ said Pastor Jim.
‘We’ll see about that!’ snapped Harold. They hit a stalemate and after a few minutes Pastor Jim said he would, ‘get to the bottom of this.’ After he left, Cheryl’s parents grilled her about what had actually happened. Sparing her parents the graphic details, she told them about the night at Rick’s where things almost went too far,‘But Mum, I swear before God that we stopped!’
It was a very common practice in the Revival Centres to force young couples who engaged in premarital sex to marry. They based it on a verse from the Bible found in 1 Corinthians 7:9 which, speaking of sexual misconduct, says, But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.’ Pastor Lloyd in his unending spiritual wisdom took this to mean that if a young couple bumped uglies before they were married, the only remedy was to force a marriage. He claimed he did this for the eternal good of the couple and to maintain the purity of the church. His interpretation of that verse was dubious of course, but it was the rule of law in the Revival Centres in the late 1980s.
As Pastor Jim had warned, Pastor Lloyd refused to see the Fisk’s and hear Cheryl’s side of the story. Pastor Lloyd had not forgotten Mavis’s affair all those years ago and assumed that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Harold was hurt by all this and so sought advice from his friend Tom who also attended the church. Tom suggested that they take Cheryl to a doctor and see if the doctor could perform some kind of test to see if Cheryl’s hymen was still intact. So, as if her humiliation up to that point was not enough, Cheryl later had the doctor’s head between her legs to see if she was the same kind of slut as her mother. The doctor wrote a statement that Cheryl was still a virgin and Harold presented it to Pastor Jim.
A few days later, Pastor Jim called Harold. ‘Hello Harold. This is Pastor Jim Irving.’
‘Hello Pastor.’
‘Harold, I will keep this brief, but I want to tell you that Pastor Lloyd has decided that Cheryl and Rick are still required to marry and if you or any members of your family stand in the way of this then your whole family will be put out of fellowship permanently.’ Harold knew that this was not an empty threat. People were kicked out of the church all the time. It was called discipline. They were usually allowed back after a few months, but on some occasions it was for life. Harold whole-heartedly believed the Revival Centres was the one true church and so in sadness and deep hurt, he complied.
As was the custom for these kinds of marriages, the bride and groom were unable to see each other before the wedding and only family members were allowed to attend. Pastor Jim was at the ceremony but not to officiate, he was there to make sure all the rules were kept and that the civil ceremony went ahead properly. Cheryl could barely even look at Rick that day. She hated him. She despised him. He had lied about everything and now she had to spend the rest of her life with him. She felt she was in some kind of dream state when she heard the words, ‘I will,’ come out of her own mouth.
Even though they were married and living together in Rick’s flat, Cheryl refused to sleep with Rick. She still hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. Rick was frustrated and often got angry with her, but she refused to pretend. Four months after the wedding night Cheryl finally gave in and let Rick have his way with her. She lay there with her head turned to the side not wanting to look him in the eye.
That night the marriage was finally consummated and whether she enjoyed it or not, she was now Rick’s wife in the eyes of the Lord. She told her mother about what had happened and Mavis called Pastor Jim to report what had gone on. Pastor Jim said,‘Well Mavis, they are married, and it is good to hear Cheryl  is now acting like a good wife should.’

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