Another Child Traumatized
By Older1
This might be titled, “Another Child Traumatized.” Posted on a public blog and reprinted in a local newspaper, this seriously misguided mom used fear to change the behavior of an already frightened child.
My first reaction is to be angry with this woman, but I am more saddened than angry. She lacks some parenting skills. This child is afraid. He thinks that every time he goes to a doctor, something will hurt. Telling him that God will be angry with him if he does not submit does nothing to reduce his fear but only adds another layer to it.
In the seventh paragraph, you’ll see that the real reason for her tactic was that money was more important to her than her child’s psyche. How sad.
Below is the entire post followed by one of the follow-up comments:
“He'll speak to you with all the zest and zeal he can muster. He's extremely animated. Like Jim Carrey. He'll hug you in such a way as to knock you off your feet. He'll play and play 'til the cows come home. Like while we're out at a dinner. Or the movies. Or when someone comes over. When we're trying to visit. Or if we're simply walking through the expensive breakable dinnerware section at a local store. No, nothing's broken yet, but there is a definite challenge to get from point A to point B sometimes.
“He loves who he loves with all his might, and lives outwardly, purposefully, and contagiously. His eyes beam and shine brighter than the sun, and his laughter rings through the atmosphere, dancing in your ears, and straight into your heart.
“But...he's struggled with doctors. Most recently, dentists. I took him in the other day, out of a sheer spur-of-the-moment thing. Like, there was actually a free appointment time for him to be seen, so I decided to jump on it. We were already there for a routine cleaning for myself, anyway, and when I heard they could see him, I decided to take it.
“Big mistake.
“It started out fine, but it would all go downhill fast. He managed to actually sit in the chair, and hold the suction straw at first, but when it came time for the actual cleaning, forget it. It wasn't going to happen. The hygentist said I'd have to take him elsewhere where they focus more on certain particular circumstances. Like when kids hate the doctor so much that, well, um, yeah. :/
“So taking him elsewhere would cost me an extra lump of cash, which was not an option. So I had to think of a plan. I knew that the rest of my children (all of whom traditionally do well with the dentist) were scheduled soon (as in today), so I decided to bring out the heavy artillary, and convince youngest son that he in fact, would have to see the dentist and get his teeth cleaned.
“I brought the big man himself. I brought God.
“Yes, I brought God, and all the wonders and laws that are attached to his ways. I told Aidan that the Bible was chalk full of laws about obeying your parents, the local authorities, and ultimately the big man himself, and that if he did not see the dentist today he would be in direct violation of not only my law, but the boss man's laws, himself.
“And, surprisingly, it worked.
“He got to the dentist this time around, and marched right up onto his chair. He held the suction straw thing while he got his teeth polished, and didn't complain one bit.
“And I was floored at the whole thing. He went from one extreme to the other between these two visits to the dentist office, and all because I brought in the big guns. Sometimes, we can't do it alone, and it really helps to bring in the backup if the need should arise.
“Sheesh!”
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Reader comment:
“That's adorable! And yeah, no higher authority... BIG MAN himself. Glad it worked! :)”
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This might be titled, “Another Child Traumatized.” Posted on a public blog and reprinted in a local newspaper, this seriously misguided mom used fear to change the behavior of an already frightened child.
My first reaction is to be angry with this woman, but I am more saddened than angry. She lacks some parenting skills. This child is afraid. He thinks that every time he goes to a doctor, something will hurt. Telling him that God will be angry with him if he does not submit does nothing to reduce his fear but only adds another layer to it.
In the seventh paragraph, you’ll see that the real reason for her tactic was that money was more important to her than her child’s psyche. How sad.
Below is the entire post followed by one of the follow-up comments:
“He'll speak to you with all the zest and zeal he can muster. He's extremely animated. Like Jim Carrey. He'll hug you in such a way as to knock you off your feet. He'll play and play 'til the cows come home. Like while we're out at a dinner. Or the movies. Or when someone comes over. When we're trying to visit. Or if we're simply walking through the expensive breakable dinnerware section at a local store. No, nothing's broken yet, but there is a definite challenge to get from point A to point B sometimes.
“He loves who he loves with all his might, and lives outwardly, purposefully, and contagiously. His eyes beam and shine brighter than the sun, and his laughter rings through the atmosphere, dancing in your ears, and straight into your heart.
“But...he's struggled with doctors. Most recently, dentists. I took him in the other day, out of a sheer spur-of-the-moment thing. Like, there was actually a free appointment time for him to be seen, so I decided to jump on it. We were already there for a routine cleaning for myself, anyway, and when I heard they could see him, I decided to take it.
“Big mistake.
“It started out fine, but it would all go downhill fast. He managed to actually sit in the chair, and hold the suction straw at first, but when it came time for the actual cleaning, forget it. It wasn't going to happen. The hygentist said I'd have to take him elsewhere where they focus more on certain particular circumstances. Like when kids hate the doctor so much that, well, um, yeah. :/
“So taking him elsewhere would cost me an extra lump of cash, which was not an option. So I had to think of a plan. I knew that the rest of my children (all of whom traditionally do well with the dentist) were scheduled soon (as in today), so I decided to bring out the heavy artillary, and convince youngest son that he in fact, would have to see the dentist and get his teeth cleaned.
“I brought the big man himself. I brought God.
“Yes, I brought God, and all the wonders and laws that are attached to his ways. I told Aidan that the Bible was chalk full of laws about obeying your parents, the local authorities, and ultimately the big man himself, and that if he did not see the dentist today he would be in direct violation of not only my law, but the boss man's laws, himself.
“And, surprisingly, it worked.
“He got to the dentist this time around, and marched right up onto his chair. He held the suction straw thing while he got his teeth polished, and didn't complain one bit.
“And I was floored at the whole thing. He went from one extreme to the other between these two visits to the dentist office, and all because I brought in the big guns. Sometimes, we can't do it alone, and it really helps to bring in the backup if the need should arise.
“Sheesh!”
------
Reader comment:
“That's adorable! And yeah, no higher authority... BIG MAN himself. Glad it worked! :)”
------
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