Skip to main content

A life a lie..... a sleeping bomb

By hecate ~

I grew up with a Christian family. Though, we didn't go to church. My family believed that there wasn't any good churches in our city.

In grade 10 I started to question like, "What about the people that could never have heard of God?" The only response was, "That is impossible. Everyone will hear at one point or another it's God's will". Then, though, I started seeing people that shouldn't be there. They would just look at me not say anything, or I would just know who they were. I started to see the dead. The things I learned went against all I knew. I started to warp my faith to try to understand the things around me that were happening to me. I started to have past-life memories; dreams that would come true. My life just didn't make sense anymore....

I hit rock bottom... I developed anorexia. I thought I was going nuts.

I got so bad that I got referred to a psychologist to help with my anorexia. I slowly got my power back, and I realized that I couldn't warp my faith anymore. I wasn't Christian any more.

With this, though, I have been lying for 5 years so I can live at home and not get kicked out. My boyfriend which I've been dating for 4 years isn't Christian, and it has divided my family. I no longer have a relationship with my distant family like my aunts, and I used to be close with them. My mom keeps on hounding me to convert him. My mom and I don't even have a relationship anymore.

I hate lying. I feel like such a fake. The thing is my parents are so closed-minded that I know I will get kicked out if I tell them. I have one more year left till I get my degree. So I have to hold on till then, but my mom has anxiety, so it makes things hard. It's gone untreated; she refuses to admit it. It's gotten so bad where if I open my month at all, and she doesn't like it, she will glare at me and such. It could over something as small as a character on a T.V show and she'll freak.

I can't handle all this anymore. I'm losing my family and I don't know what to do. I know if I admit to them I'm not Christian they will disown me and just blame my boyfriend, and he has nothing to do with it. They blame him for everything, but on the other hand they say he would be perfect if he was Christian. They say he doesn't try to get involved with the family, yet he makes supper twice a week, and yet if he disagrees with my mom at all she freaks out at me after saying that she wants us to break up and how this wouldn't happen if he was Christian.

I hate it. I hate my parents disrespect for others they disrespect all other beliefs. They even said I shouldn't talk to one of my friends just because she is Muslim. I happened to mention a difference between the two beliefs and my parents stated yelling at me saying it was false and wrong and totally being disrespectful.

I don't know what to do I'm stuck at home with one one year till I can get my degree to move out. I feel stuck. There is no way I could afford to move out right now unless I take out a massive student loan. I really don't want to do that.

Also, I want to stop lying so that I can have a voice in my family yet my parents can't respect any other opinions.

.I wish I knew what to do...


Popular posts from this blog

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo


By David Andrew Dugle ~   S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden –  Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

Why I left the Canadian Reformed Church

By Chuck Eelhart ~ I was born into a believing family. The denomination is called Canadian Reformed Church . It is a Dutch Calvinistic Christian Church. My parents were Dutch immigrants to Canada in 1951. They had come from two slightly differing factions of the same Reformed faith in the Netherlands . Arriving unmarried in Canada they joined the slightly more conservative of the factions. It was a small group at first. Being far from Holland and strangers in a new country these young families found a strong bonding point in their church. Deutsch: Heidelberger Katechismus, Druck 1563 (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) I was born in 1955 the third of eventually 9 children. We lived in a small southern Ontario farming community of Fergus. Being young conservative and industrious the community of immigrants prospered. While they did mix and work in the community almost all of the social bonding was within the church group. Being of the first generation born here we had a foot in two

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not