The Biggest Joke Book on Earth

By Carl S ~

Back in the 1960's there was a popular TV series called “Get Smart.” The show was a spoof of James Bond-type counter-espionage. Agent 86, a.k.a. “Smart,” was played by Don Adams. I didn't see many episodes, but I do remember a gag he often repeated. When Smart reported to the head of his agency, he would sometimes say things like, “Would you believe there were 200 of them?” There would be a long pause, and then, “Would you believe 100? What about 75?”

Would you believe this report: a guy fed 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes? Well, would you believe 50 loaves and 200 fishes? Would you believe 500 men, and no women and children? Didn't you believe me when I told you he also walked on water? Would you believe me if I said the lake was frozen? Would you believe a man lived to be 400 years old, and then he built a gigantic boat, when any 100 year old man would have trouble building a ship model? What else?

One commentator wrote about an atheist mother…

The Christian Belief System

By Renoliz ~

You just can't come up with a coherent message from the gobbledygook of the Bible. It is the wackiest, scariest story ever told. We are born as worthless sinners and filthy rags fit only for the dustbin because of two people long ago. God never mentions his great plan in the entire Old Testament [several chapters in Isaiah not withstanding, especially since you have to really pick through the whole thing to get what the Christians are getting out of it and it doesn't read the same if you translate it directly from Hebrew instead of from the Greek version].

Gobbledygook has gotta go.Image by AlaskanLibrarian via Flickr
Anyway, the myriad of problems with the Bible not stopping there. Biblegod then sends his son who is really himself to get a good beating and save us from Hell. Now, Hell was never mentioned in the Old Testament either. So, Jesus gives the ultimate sacrifice of giving up his life but not really since he came back after only two days even though we are going to say it was three days.

So, for three days out of eternity he was dead. Three lousy days out of forever! Doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice. But, okay, he sacrificed himself even though he is really God, whom he is sacrificed to. He did all this to save the world. Only, not really, since it looks like most of us are going to hell anyway.

It is an inane plan, it is nonsense and it is not believable.

In addition, why didn't Biblegod just put a fence around the tree of knowledge? If I was a parent with a pool, that is what I would do. Even stranger, you, the parent, let Little Johnny the toddler run around by himself. You know everything but then you walk out and say "Where is Little Johnny?" even though supposedly you are all seeing and then you see the little goober floating in the pool.

“Wow, Little Johnny, I told you not to play near the pool. You little brat! You deliberately disobeyed me”

You revive him and it looks like he'll be alright. So you beat the crap out of him because you love him so much and curse all his children, grandchildren, etc. Yeah, I call that bad parenting. No, I call that abusive parenting.

It seems that you never speak to the child again except through other people and you tell him that you hate him and he deserves every bad thing that happens to him but that is really love and you are helping him build character.

Little Johnny doesn't think you are real because he hasn’t seen you since long before he went to kindergarten. The school principle and all the teachers say you are real. Little Johnny ends up doubting that you are real and all-seeing and all-knowing. So, you decide when he dies you are going to roast him in hell for eternity. Hey, you had someone else warn him. Yeah, that is a psycho parent, for sure.

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