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Easter this year

By PuffyMac ~

This Easter, since becoming a deist about a month ago, I'm feeling somewhat melancholy. I am thankful to have found this place that gives so much support and from people that really THINK, and care.

melencholy looksImage by Ali Gold via Flickr
Now that I largely dismiss most of the teaching of Christianity, I guess I'm going to have to struggle through holidays such as Easter and Christmas. Where I once scoffed at the "C & E" churchgoers (we know what those are, right?), now I'm faced with having to make a choice to attend or not attend, and if I attend, how I wrestle with I'm hearing and seeing, in my own mind.

I guess I'm going to have to struggle through holidays such as Easter and Christmas. I'm melancholy, because I see all these people with "blind faith", excited to be celebrating these holidays, and apparently finding real meaning in them. I wish I had that, both the belief (or the comfort of that belief) and that community with others. Now, I do realize that, just like me, there's a lot of them with real questions, that are afraid to investigate, or perhaps they're just going thru the motions. Some of them are really sweating going to hell for not doing this or doing that, or for doing that or doing this. Yes, even with the knowledge of what evangelicals term "Grace" - which they use to define that we don't have to DO anything, only to accept and worship Jesus. But no one really believes it.

Anyway, back to my point, I just really wanted to vent my feelings, as yesterday was Easter, and this one was really different for me than past ones. And while on one hand I feel a great weight has been taken off of me, on the other hand I do miss what I once had. Anyone else feel this?