Skip to main content

My Dilemma

By The Truth Seeker --

Before I pose my question to the readers of this site, I want to tell you how much I have learned through the many postings and responses that I have read on this site. I can’t tell you how much comfort and wisdom I have found from your postings. You are an intelligent group and it has been good for me to read your posts.

Couple in churchImage by charlie llewellin via Flickr

I must tell you that when I found this site I was feeling very down because after a number of years of studying, reading , and investigating Christianity’s claims, doctrine, dogma, and theology I came to the conclusion that everything I knew about Christianity was false and I had been fooling myself for years.

That’s an awfully tough position to be in when you’re on the downhill side of your life. Nevertheless, I’m glad I finally found the truth and feel very much relieved because of it.

The problem that I am now having, and it is one that I think that others of the group may have, is how to work this out with my spouse. My spouse is a life long Catholic. She is not radical in her beliefs, but she is stubborn in her belief. The sad thing is that she has no real understanding of the church’s history or where the church’s doctrine and theology came from. She believes because she has faith. That’s something that’s very hard to reason with. All discussion on this subject ends with that statement. I believe because I have faith. She and Martin Luther would have been great companions.

She is much disappointed with me, because she says I am not the man she married. She is afraid that I am going to hell, and she is much worried about that. It doesn’t matter that I have not really changed other than I have found the truth. In all other respects I am the same.

To alleviate her concern, I go to church with her. I don’t go to the Catholic Church because I know this church is the most irrational, corrupt, and disgusting church on the face of the earth. I say this because I was a member of this church for forty years. I go with her to the Methodist church because she works for that church and I find it to be easier for me to take and because many of our friends go there.
We don’t talk about religion any more because we both know each others beliefs and I know that it is fruitless to talk about it with her. That’s why I like to come to the ex-Christian web site because there I can find people who think like I do and it is a great relief to find some reason in this world. It would give me great joy just to sit down and talk with someone rationally on any subject.

My question to you is how those of you that may have a similar situation handle this problem and what advice can you give to me.

Because I live in a small town where if you don’t go to church, you don’t fit in. I find myself in another dilemma. Most of my friends go to the Methodist Church and my wife and I attend Sunday school there and sometimes go to church. No one knows that I am an atheist, and I keep my mouth shut about it. That gets very hard sometimes in Sunday school because of the things they say and believe, but I keep silent. I wish there were a group of Humanists in this town, but I’m afraid they would be tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail if they admitted it. I can’t tell you how much disgust Christians have for agnostics and atheists, particularly atheists’. If it weren’t such a contradiction, I would say they aren’t acting very Christian.
So what are your thoughts about this dilemma?