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Invisible Baseball Bats and Air Guitar Airheads:

“What Speaking in Tongues Has In Common With God”  

By dealdoctor --

We can NOT make SENSE of words like condomezamarandoosh but they can be said by the mouth and heard by the years. For a real good show on this truth attend any Pentecostal church at a summer revival worship service with an Holy Ghost- anointed- white- suit- dressed shiny- shoes- fast talking-Bible toteing- evangelist in the spotlight. People there start saying such things as condomezamarandoosh and kakabodobilyboo and they are not really lying but they are talking- nonsense. ( The evangelist is also talking nonsense but that is not the subject of this rant) Face it, all the people who there hearing such talking in the service really do not actually understand and find meaningful everyday on the street sense in such words just as you did not find any sense in them when you read the “words” here. To the people there, to us here and to the kids in the first grade class at the closest elementary school to the church all this is just non sense because it has no ASSIGNABLE OBJECTVE meaning to kids in the first grade or to linguistic specialists at the local university.

Exactly why is this all nonsense? There are no common objects (nouns) or actions of objects (verbs) in such talk which can be heard by the people there so it is just gibbldygook instead of FACT BASED talk of actual objective things that can be experienced in this OBJECTIVLY REAL world. See, those REAL objects in talk that does make sense have a big role in making sense to us when sense is actually to be made in communication to those that hear words in THIS THE ONLY world.

Sure there is usually some person in the congregation who steps up under inspiration ( emotion) and speaks something in a known language which does have actual common nouns and verbs and it is called and "interpretation". Believers in hushed awe are thinking ,” Whoa, this is the Holy Spirit’s official interpreter because the Holy Spirit only has English as a third language and needs a little help here. “ IF asked what language the inspired interpreter was interpreting the honest answer is "No clue, man the Holy Spirit just came all over me and I was moved to speak. So I accept by faith whatever popped up to interpret the glossalaliagibberish that came from the prior tongue talking speaker. "

At this point someone would think -if true- the tongue speaker had been divinely interpreted and since the inspired interpretation deed was done thanks to the inspired interpreter and that was that. No wait, here blasts off a second and even third interpretation from still other inspired interpreters and what they say is different from the first and second interpretation. It can be REALLY different. So I guess the first guy only interpreted the first few sentences and the other two pitched in to help out and complete the job. The initial tongue speaker can have a short blast of tongue speaking but ,my gosh, the other two interpretations drone on and only even longer than my posts here at Ex Christian. Well ok ,but not really realistic. “But who cares” think the inspired congregants , “ because no one really has one game contestant clue as to what was really said and must take the interpretations on the gibberish gush on faith alone. Credulity, I mean faith, is in high value in this crowd.

There are some rules Check 1 Cor. Chapter 12 and 14 in the Holy King James Bible ( Beware of other false versions like the original Greek and Hebrew) For example, if someone interprets by saying God wants everyone to go home and set their dogs on fire the elders of the church elders and preacher will challenge that as unbiblical. On the other hand, if the interpreter says God wants every there today get matches to fire up a bush or some biblical burnt offering even the preachers and elders have a real challenge. Also if an interpretation is a true fact saying the preacher is having a sexual affair with his secretary and God is pissed that interpretation is sure to get a thumbs down from the preacher and perhaps his chosen elders too. All kinds of weird crap is to be found in the Bible so a Biblical tongues interpretation has a lot of room to be weird. Since no one can fact check the proper interpretation of any real language all kinds of shit can pass for words from the throne of heaven. ( Question: Could the entire Bible be made up of such stuff in written rather than spoken form? )

Why all the above writing about speaking in tongues? What does it have to do with the reality of -God. Because some things we do not think of as speaking in tongues is REALLY an exact parallel to speaking in tongues but we do not realize it. The words God, Spirit, Holy Ghost, ghost, angels, demons, the devil all are worlds like dobabaaramabibityshaz in that there is NO OBJECT to which the word refers that any SENSE can be assigned to with the understanding by a rational individual. OBJECTS (NOUNS) AND OBJECTS MOVING PROGRESS (VERBS) are the only words that have a chance of making SENSE in THIS world and all other words are NON-sense-gibberishspammingofbadofferingstothenonbraindeadfolks.

If indeed some non English language must be spoken to those with English as their primary language don't get some rookie uneducated (anointed) interpreter who just feels moved to say WHATEVER pops into his emotionally inspired brain. A more viable alternative would be to check out the phone book for interpreters, have fifty five Sunday School classes on foreign languages so you are ready but hey...that would assume it was an earthly language that needed to be interpreted. This is so obvious and to dodge this the tongue speakers say it is often a "spiritual or angelic" language so no professional interpreter could interpret it with their high falootin' education. The spiritual and angelic language however also could have no assignable objects of which to speak because said angels and spirits without bodies living in a spiritual world with NO defined LIMITED objects to speak about would also have nothing to speak but NON-SENSE to those in an object filled world.

A god, angel, demon, ghost, had better have an objective body that can catch a baseball before they start to speak of baseballs. If not they are like an invisible bat that even Babe Ruth would be pressed to use to knock a real ball out of the park. The whole thing is strike out not home run thinking.

Think of it: baseball with invisible bats is just non-sense and will make about as much music as an air guitar. Talk about the OBJECTIVE REALITY of such INVISIBLE NON BODIED imagined things is a mind game where even such thinking requires stuff from the objective world. Gold Streets and Gates of Pearl ring a bell. How about great white throne? But hey, all that is ok for those who live in a pretend reality. Ain’t nothin' home in brain full of invisible non objects! Any of you guys remember the term Airhead? Close your hand and there is a fist. Open it and magic beyond belief the fist vanishes into nothing. Such is “mind” as a mere function of the brain and such is lap as a function of sitting and standing. Both totally depend for their FULL “reality” on the physical brain and body. It is an illusion that” minds” and “laps” and “fists” are actually different OBJECTS with a SEPARATE SPIRITUAL reality OF THEIR OWN. If you doubt that try to have a conversation with you lap, fist, Santa, angels, demons, Zeus, or my favorite The Flying Spaghetti Monster, His Holy Noodle Himself, and see if it is a two way conversation or a monologue. Mind, lap, fist, all gods their and their angels and demons have left the building of reality and all things REAL must be in and remain in the building of reality. Real inside, imaginary outside, sense inside, nonsense outside now that makes sense. If you do not like my opinion expressed here my interpreter is inspired to say a few words to make it clear, “ Smurfbippitybop snowwhiteatinkerbellanelf (big heavy breath) Rudolphprancerdancervixonatlabash (more quite for emphasis) godangelsdemonselvesleprachansholysmokeandwaterlyprayeras.”

If this opposite opinion has more power to convince you there is nothing I can do because as we all know this subject is beyond words. It is now time to act cool and be silent so the stupid will assume silence is saying smart stuff that can not be expressed. Leave the test paper blank or better yet draw meaningless doodles on it and the teacher is sure to think you are the smartest kid in the class. Sheesh! Yabadabadoooo!!