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I'm on the fence; not sure what I believe

From L.E.E ~

I am on the fence about whether or not I am a liberal christian or an atheist.

Fence SittingImage by kh1234567890 via Flickr
I was raised by liberal christian parents in an overly conservative Nazarene church in Ohio. So, I was taught by my parents to help the poor, be pro-choice, and support gay marriage. Then at church, Republican beliefs were crammed down my throat! At church I was taught that it was wrong to have an abortion or even give women the right to decide what to do with their own bodies, and that anyone who was gay was hell bound. It was very confusing, even now.

I know in my heart that I am a liberal and I just feel like I cant be a liberal Christian, because I feel like it's an oxymoron!!

I feel like the only reason I feel a need to stay in the Christian faith is because of fear, fear that if I do not, then this god will give me a horrible life and I will end up in hell.

Please help. I really do not know what to do...