How to tell them I'm not Christian anymore?

By belovedimmortalmy ~

So recently I realized that I'm not really a Christian anymore and that I'm more of an agnostic humanist open to the idea of a liberal, loving god. I was trying to explore my faith and make it evolve in order to answer the many questions and doubts I've had growing up with conservative Christianity. My dad is a pastor and my mom is a Sunday school director. I told them that right now that I'm trying to deepen my faith and understanding as a Christian and I told them that is why I am attending a Unitarian Universalist church. They were a little freaked out when I told them that I am visiting a UU church. In their eyes, any church that is not Bible-based and Christo-centric is a false church, a cult. They do not view UU kindly, and already are trying to proselytize me back to being a "good" Christian.

How do I tell them that I am not really a Christian anymore, that my beliefs are bigger and more loving than that narrow, condemning religion? Or should I keep my personal beliefs a secret from them? Should I keep pretending to be a Christian in front of them?

I think if I tell them that I am not a Christian, they will be heartbroken and I don't want to make them sad. But at the same time, I want them to realize how narrow-minded and unnecessarily conservative they are. I have tried to reason with them and discuss topics like the validity of the Bible, how do we know that Jesus is real, the contradictions of the Christian God (loving, unfair, and vengeful at the same time), and the possibility of no hell and instead universal salvation, etc. However, they just get flustered and come up with roundabout reasons of why the Bible is true, blablabla.

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