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We Need to Ask Forgiveness

By a Searching Pastor --

I found this site while preparing for a sermon series on the Old Testament book of Habakkuk. What I really like about Habakkuk is that he asks the hard questions. I find most Christians unwilling to do that.

Cypress Park Jesus FreakImage by waltarrrrr via Flickr
However, I want to apologize for all the crap that has been done in the name of Jesus over thousands of years. No, it is not my responsibility totally, but what we still do today deeply saddens me.

My quest for truth began 10 years ago when I realized that some things just simply don't add up. Coming from a scientific background, having grown up on the campus of Penn State University, and the son of a geneticist, I need real answers that work. I cannot accept a faith that brutalizes people and the environment it says is the handiwork of God.

My quest has not led me out of the faith, though perhaps in a way it has, but to a much more real understanding of the ideas of Jesus. And in doing so, I must leave behind so much of what I was taught. It just doesn't hold water. And so much has been used to side with certain political parties, to control, to manipulate with fear, and to basically make some people feel better about themselves at the expense of others.

I want to say that not all of us think that is what Jesus was about. Religion has killed so much of what his message was and can be. Some of us are on a quest to join many of you in bringing a healing and restorative presence to our world for all people, to stand up for the poor, to sacrifice our own selves for the good of those who cannot defend themselves, to end slave trafficking, to feed the hungry, and so much more that aligns with the massage Jesus taught.

I am sorry it has taken me 47 years to realize all of this. I am sorry I ever thought I understood it all. I am sorry for the damage that I, myself, have contributed too. I honestly think that God never intended any of it.

I am asking more questions now than answering them. I am seeking truth rather than religion. I am trying my best, though I will always be an ass in some ways, to treat people like I see Jesus treat them (he had a way of really giving it to the religious people while loving the downtrodden).

Like one person wrote, I still get choked up at things like The Passion Play, but I think it is because it is such an authentic display of what love is supposed to be.

I am reading a new book called "A New Kind of Christianity" right now. It is interesting, though I am sure he will be labeled a heretic by most Christians. I am on a new quest for what is true and good and right. And I just wanted anyone on this site to know that you have helped cement that quest for me.

Like Habakkuk, many of us are asking the same questions as many who have written here. And the ones here are awesome and inspiring and real. Thank you for being real, and please give guys like me a fair shake if you can, we believe there is a better way ahead for all of us together.

Thank you for being here.