Skip to main content

Looking to the guy in the mirror

By Mike --

To start with, you can decide for yourselves what I am, but I have been told I'm headed to hell (I bet it looks like my back yard in June July and August) because of a few things, such as not being faithful enough and being a Goth. Oh you have not lived until you have been a Goth who crosses paths with hardcore fundamentalists. To be fair, there have been some awesome ones, but boy you know it when a Suspected satanist meets the other side. But enough on that element of humor.

I walked away from a very large church and I'll tell you why since so many share a similar story.

I was born into The Worldwide Church Of God pastored by God's chosen opostle, Herbert Armstong and I'm betting many readers recognize that name. I was also born into a semi gothic family which was the best thing that happened to me.

Father was not there, mother was Carrie's mom. We went to curch every Saturday, kept every holy day, and we tithed if it killed us, which it nearly did, and if we failed to obey the sabbath we gave account to a minister during a visit to our house (oh I'd love for them to try that now!)

I am being very honest here. I tithed and became so broke it was horrific since I had no education and was supporting my hag of a mother on McDonalds wages and being persecuted because I was so different.

I kept the Sabbaths till I was almost ill from being the guy at the church dances who the girls shunned. It was years before I found that the vile females there and most of the boys hated me but put on their Christian masks (the best selling mask in the world!!) in front of me.

Mother disapproved of everything, hated my music since Rock music was inspired by Satan, condemned my writing since it was mystery which invited demons into our home, condemned my dark mentality since Satan had taken over my mind, and she knew that after watching a horror movie or two I'd grow up to hack someone to death with a machete. I had one, and she literally threw it away when it was used to murder weeds wholesale.

I will say one thing that I believe, that these misdirected idiots who claim they are filled with the holy spirit would do well to choke down some other spirits. After the girls in the church were poisoned against me I dated outside the church and was so screwed up in my desire for affection that I married into a relationship that never should have happened. That got me suspended, then my repentance got me back.

The pastor general died, and his top man, Joe Tkatch took over and began to tear the place up. He died of cancer and his son took over the throne and really rocked the boat. He changed doctrines and teachings and did such a dramatic job that there was one HUGE falling away. Wheeeeee, I fell away tooooooooo. I remember a magazine that came and showed some of the changes and that was it for me.

I was so brainwashed by the legalism that I hit the guilt field and nearly committed suicide, notes written and attempts made, stopping short of letting my demon mother find the body. Mommy darling stole from me, lied about me, and in front of me told a minister about my supposedly homicidal temper, then she and her new husband disowned me and cut off all communication. Possibly I should thank her for that, but they burn garbage, and when she died she was cremated.

Anyhow, I kept up my prayers and my attempts at being a Christian, then one day when I could no longer handle misreading intervention and backfiring prayer I made a decision that the only man I'd look to thenceforth was the guy in the mirror. Over-sized forehead, lame brain with learning dysfunction and all.

I also began asking myself what was wrong with being a goth. I was not a Satanist, not practicing witchcraft and not eating babies (sugarbabies don't count, really). I began to change when the wife wanted to keep Halloween and it became a fun family event where I made money. I then began listening to goth music by groups like Midnight Syndicate and Nightwish, and buying the clothes and adopting the look I wanted. I was already an outsider, a reject, so who cares. I then learned a few things. Goth friends did not hate gays, they did not hate people who believed differently, they were not inherently evil, and dark moonlit nights full of fog and candle lit houses were beautiful.

I consider myself a free thinker now. I research everything, God, Satan, the bible, erratic growth of cucumbers, everything. I've gone to some churches with friends and family, but I am not a member of any organization. Mother would turn over in her urn if she saw me now, but that is amusing.

I continue to research human origins, and I continue to ask many questions. All I want to do is learn new facts.

I will say one thing that I believe, that these misdirected idiots who claim they are filled with the holy spirit would do well to choke down some other spirits. I went to a local baptist church recently just for the heck of it and after ten minutes of listening to the minister slam his hands down and scream hell fire I walked out. It was time to find a cold drink. My family agreed.

I hope each and everyone of you finds the end of the rainbow he is looking for.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo

ACTS OF GOD

By David Andrew Dugle ~   S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden –  Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not

On Living Virtuously

By Webmdave ~  A s a Christian, living virtuously meant living in a manner that pleased God. Pleasing god (or living virtuously) was explained as: Praying for forgiveness for sins  Accepting Christ as Savior  Frequently reading the Bible  Memorizing Bible verses Being baptized (subject to church rules)  Attending church services  Partaking of the Lord’s Supper  Tithing  Resisting temptations to lie, steal, smoke, drink, party, have lustful thoughts, have sex (outside of marriage) masturbate, etc.  Boldly sharing the Gospel of Salvation with unbelievers The list of virtuous values and expectations grew over time. Once the initial foundational values were safely under the belt, “more virtues'' were introduced. Newer introductions included (among others) harsh condemnation of “worldly” music, homosexuality and abortion Eventually the list of values grew ponderous, and these ideals were not just personal for us Christians. These virtues were used to condemn and disrespect fro