Skip to main content

A funny thing happened on the way to believing.

By Dano --

I taught myself to type about 50 years or so ago. I was in the Air Force, and I bought one of those old mechanical typewriters, used, at a pawn shop.

God's finger puppetImage by Colin Purrington via Flickr
It was also one of the major times in my life that I thought I had everything in life figured out, and I had figured out that Jesus was love, love was God, and I loved Jesus. I remember I typed a bunch of letters to my relatives,the ones whom I knew were Christians, outlining this epiphany.

Well to make a brief religious awakening story, short, a few people reminded me, that I had grown no halo, I got tired of my one way conversation with God, someone stole the typewriter, and I got back to sinning just like all the other guys. Since then I have relied upon my wives, (bofum), to do any lengthy typing projects.

Thank evolution that even though some of my more frivolous skills, like typing, have faded, the more satisfying ones are as good ever. Those laid down in the baser parts of my brain, like eating and lusting and coveting. Characteristics that our Father and Mother -- "Natural Selection" -- gave us first and sufficiently powerful enough to thrive and populate the earth, despite the oil company's determination to cover every thing in oil and religions having laid claim to these essential talents, re-branding them as "sin" so they could have something to claim to know how to cure.

Several years ago I started writing these brief contributions to -Ex Christian-, when I fell in love with not believing in mythologies, and as by then I had totally lost my "qwerty" skills, and had to use one finger (and two when I got up to speed.) Luckily by then they had invented computers, spell check, and sending a letter without having to lick a stamp.

The purpose of this story though is this: to inform my readers that now when I attempt to write anything about God, it inevitably comes out funny, or sarcastic, if you will. I cannot take the serious subject of God seriously, because of the irony of so many people talking about something that they know nothing about.

You've got witch doctors, shamans, popes, Imams, preachers, and thousands of other phonies preaching to us, trying to convince us that their mythology is the only true one, or trying to kill us because their good book tells them to if we don't buy into their version of religious crapola -- all because the culture they are living in has brainwashed them into believing something that they can have no knowledge of.

They are saying God did this or God said that, even though no one has ever even come up with an adequate definition of what God is. They are saying God did this or God said that, even though no one has ever even come up with an adequate definition of what God is. I think Einstein came closest when he said something to the effect that life and the universe is made up of essential particles of matter, and everything behaves according to the laws of physics. No matter what they call it, God, Allah, Shiva, or quantum physics, they are all in agreement that "It" created at least one universe, and maybe an infinite number of universes, "It" has never revealed exactly what "it" is, or what It wants, or even if "It" is intelligent.

I just think it's too funny that so many people believe that there is an all powerful, all knowing, all loving, someone up in the sky, who created and organized every atom in our bodies' and brains, and is going to fry us forever, if we don't believe certain stories that people made up 2000 years ago, not long after they climbed down out of the trees, (geologically speaking), and started walking upright.

Wouldn't she have waited at least another billion years or so till we have evolved into something a little smarter, at least, before choosing us as the species of life to sit and sing with her forever.


Popular posts from this blog

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette


By David Andrew Dugle ~   S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden –  Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not

On Living Virtuously

By Webmdave ~  A s a Christian, living virtuously meant living in a manner that pleased God. Pleasing god (or living virtuously) was explained as: Praying for forgiveness for sins  Accepting Christ as Savior  Frequently reading the Bible  Memorizing Bible verses Being baptized (subject to church rules)  Attending church services  Partaking of the Lord’s Supper  Tithing  Resisting temptations to lie, steal, smoke, drink, party, have lustful thoughts, have sex (outside of marriage) masturbate, etc.  Boldly sharing the Gospel of Salvation with unbelievers The list of virtuous values and expectations grew over time. Once the initial foundational values were safely under the belt, “more virtues'' were introduced. Newer introductions included (among others) harsh condemnation of “worldly” music, homosexuality and abortion Eventually the list of values grew ponderous, and these ideals were not just personal for us Christians. These virtues were used to condemn and disrespect fro