A funny thing happened on the way to believing.

By Dano --

I taught myself to type about 50 years or so ago. I was in the Air Force, and I bought one of those old mechanical typewriters, used, at a pawn shop.

Image by Colin Purrington via Flickr

It was also one of the major times in my life that I thought I had everything in life figured out, and I had figured out that Jesus was love, love was God, and I loved Jesus. I remember I typed a bunch of letters to my relatives,the ones whom I knew were Christians, outlining this epiphany.

Well to make a brief religious awakening story, short, a few people reminded me, that I had grown no halo, I got tired of my one way conversation with God, someone stole the typewriter, and I got back to sinning just like all the other guys. Since then I have relied upon my wives, (bofum), to do any lengthy typing projects.

Thank evolution that even though some of my more frivolous skills, like typing, have faded, the more satisfying ones are as good ever. Those laid down in the baser parts of my brain, like eating and lusting and coveting. Characteristics that our Father and Mother -- "Natural Selection" -- gave us first and sufficiently powerful enough to thrive and populate the earth, despite the oil company's determination to cover every thing in oil and religions having laid claim to these essential talents, re-branding them as "sin" so they could have something to claim to know how to cure.

Several years ago I started writing these brief contributions to -Ex Christian-, when I fell in love with not believing in mythologies, and as by then I had totally lost my "qwerty" skills, and had to use one finger (and two when I got up to speed.) Luckily by then they had invented computers, spell check, and sending a letter without having to lick a stamp.

The purpose of this story though is this: to inform my readers that now when I attempt to write anything about God, it inevitably comes out funny, or sarcastic, if you will. I cannot take the serious subject of God seriously, because of the irony of so many people talking about something that they know nothing about.

You've got witch doctors, shamans, popes, Imams, preachers, and thousands of other phonies preaching to us, trying to convince us that their mythology is the only true one, or trying to kill us because their good book tells them to if we don't buy into their version of religious crapola -- all because the culture they are living in has brainwashed them into believing something that they can have no knowledge of.

They are saying God did this or God said that, even though no one has ever even come up with an adequate definition of what God is. They are saying God did this or God said that, even though no one has ever even come up with an adequate definition of what God is. I think Einstein came closest when he said something to the effect that life and the universe is made up of essential particles of matter, and everything behaves according to the laws of physics. No matter what they call it, God, Allah, Shiva, or quantum physics, they are all in agreement that "It" created at least one universe, and maybe an infinite number of universes, "It" has never revealed exactly what "it" is, or what It wants, or even if "It" is intelligent.

I just think it's too funny that so many people believe that there is an all powerful, all knowing, all loving, someone up in the sky, who created and organized every atom in our bodies' and brains, and is going to fry us forever, if we don't believe certain stories that people made up 2000 years ago, not long after they climbed down out of the trees, (geologically speaking), and started walking upright.

Wouldn't she have waited at least another billion years or so till we have evolved into something a little smarter, at least, before choosing us as the species of life to sit and sing with her forever.

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