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Knowing that I am not the only one

By Renoliz --

I just wanted to say how nice it has been to be able to "speak up" on the topic of Christianity. The damn has burst and I have commented on several of the articles.

I'm not the only oneImage by vicsaez via Flickr

I have never participated in on-line discussions or made any comments before recently. Since it is anonymous, I do feel that in some ways I can say what is really on my mind. I truly hope that something I say here will be helpful to somebody else who is considering leaving Christianity. However, this has been liberating for me.

Reading others thoughts and feelings has allowed me to work through an awful lot of anger and angst. There has been sadness and fear. Knowing that I am not the only one struggling with fundamentalist indoctrination has helped me to no end. Realizing that the "nice" church I went to as a child also instilled a fear of Hell in me has helped me crystalize my feelings that Christianity is not a healthy concept.

Truthfully, I struggled and researched and went to so many scholarly websites that this has been a mind expanding esperience. But a website like this has allowed me to vent my emotions. My sister said it sounds like you have been traumatized by religion. And I truly have been. There are so many facets to the Christian experience that it takes time to think [and feel] them all through.

The strange martyrdom complex. The degrading and really not very subtle subjugation of women. [The church really did used to talk about Eve being the cause of original sin. Now it is seems to be all about women causing men to lust.] The strange attitude that sex and lust are evil and not just part of being human. The way the church thinks it can get betweeen a husband and wife. The horrors of Hell that seem so real, especially when one is indoctrinated as a child. And so much more.

I am still so angry about some of this. I still get mad when I think of Pastor Butthead and the others who tell lies and half truths from the pulpit. The way they manipulate people. I am happy I do not, and did not, make a very good sheep and that this trip into the hell of fundamentalist Christianity didn't last for too many years. But I wasted a lot of time and energy. And I could have lost my marriage. Very scary.

I see the good that has come of all this as well. None-the-less, I think I will not soon tire of hearing about the foibles of the fundy church and Christianity in general. It's all so damn nutty that it is really as laughable as it is sad.

This is really a thank you to whatever or whoever runs this website. I don't have a clue as to how you do this thing call a webpage. Maybe I'll make that my next topic of study. I am amazed and delighted by the artwork that accompanies these stories. I don't know any of you but you have been an on-line lifeline.