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I cannot repent of a bad law

By Burning in Hades --

This is my first post, and I just wanted to add a little bit of myself to the forums. I've been reading the posts for about a year, so here goes nothing. I may post more depending and how I feel about how it is presented.

FamilyImage by jcoterhals via Flickr

I was raised in a Christian family home, and my dad is actually a licensed minister, I'm 45. I don't remember ever not believing in god until a few years ago, but the more I asked tough questions the more I was convinced that there wasn't any god, in any religion, watching over us. Someone once posed a question that I have yet to find a valid response to, from any theist. The question was 'If God were to have died yesterday, how would you know? You see, the universe would continue along it's merry path, with or without humans, it has a few billion years left in its life cycle.

Be that as it may, that isn't the reason that I don't believe any more. You see, I was married for 20 years (my first marriage) to a wonderful woman, and we had a wonderful marriage. Cancer took her away from me and killed her body. The problem is this: She was married to someone for 18 years prior to meeting me. The man was a physically and mentally abusive husband and an alcoholic. She lived in hell for 18 years. When she finally got the courage to leave him and get divorced (against the church's wishes!), the scars were already in place that would take me years to heal. I vowed that we would be married longer than she was married to 'him' and that I would show her that life was worth living. I tried to give her a taste of heaven to offset her life of hell. I succeeded. She died having a good life, and that is all I hoped for. What did I get out of this relationship? I am now condemned to hell forever. Why? Because I married a divorced woman and caused her and myself 'to commit adultery', for which I will NEVER regret or repent of, and do you not know that adulterers aren't allowed in heaven?. My crime is loving someone and trying to make them happy.

Since her death, I have remarried again to another divorced woman. I make the same vow -- for as long as we live, to give her a taste of heaven. Again, my reward? I guess after I'm done roasting in the pits of hell for eternity because of my first wife, I'll be transferred to the place of 'weeping and gnashing of teeth' for my second term.

It's right there in the Bible, out of Jesus' own mouth.

So why don't I feel bad and repent of my marrying a divorced woman? Because the law is totally immoral, irresponsible, repugnant, and it makes me sick to think that people actually believe in words of some alpha-male complex writer 2000 years ago. I will never repent of being in love with a divorced woman, so I guess to all of those who are in my situation, I'll put another log on the fire when you show up. And by the way, all of those scriptures about praying for healing, going to the elders, anointing with oil etc...? Good luck with THAT one!