Low self esteem, trying church, and becoming suicidal

SHARE:

By Debra ~


I grew up in an abusive home. Physically, sexually, and emotionally. I lived in fear, never knowing when my father would go off and throw me into a wall, for the simple reason that I was handy. I had no safe place, no safe adults to trust, and I survived. I was also made to go to church to keep up appearances. What I was taught, as a little child, was the opposite of what was going on at home, and my child's mind learned that god hated me.

When I was 19, met my husband, married, I left church forever. My husband, an atheist, helped me slowly let go of the things church programmed into me. He set me free.

Many years later, divorced, living alone, no family or friends, I thought I needed to try to get out, be around nice people. I went back to church. What they did was crush me. I was divorced, told that is a horrible sin that god hates. I was told that god knew me before I was even conceived and sent me to that family, and that it was my fault and have to repent the sin of being abused. I was told that because I am overweight (meds for cancer) that is a sin. On and on, and I already felt like useless crap, so all that made me feel so unfit to even be alive that I became suicidal. I wanted to believe that a god would love me, that those Christians would care, accept me, but I was unfit. I was not wanted. I wanted to believe. but all I got was more pain, more self hatred, and became suicidal.

Then I found this site, and you helped me see that religion and the god of the bible isn't love. You helped me get out before it was too late.

Pastors say all that, how divorce is unforgivable, blame the woman just for being a woman, etc., etc., etc., and they need to stop. They don't know if their listener is an abuse survivor, and their words cause harm to those who were.

I am better now. but I am not the only one who was abused. My desire is that those who were, don't seek love and acceptance in a church. It isn't there.

Thank you for this site.

COMMENTS

Agnosticator,5,Al Wm Johnson,3,Alegria,3,Alen Basic,1,American Apostate,3,Andrew Jasko,3,Anne R Keye,6,AnonAgno94,4,Apetivist,2,Apostate Paul,3,Articles,707,Aspieguy,12,Astreja,9,atheistnurse,10,AtheistToothFairy,1,austinrohm,3,Avangelism Project,2,Barrett Evans,2,Ben Love,69,billybee,2,BlackFreethought,12,Bob Keye,3,Bob R,4,boomSlang,1,Bore Venal Charlatan,2,Brad N,1,Brian Kellogg,8,Brisancian,3,Bruce Gerencser,1,Bruno Corey,1,C. T. Ogden,4,Carl S,377,Carol Putnam,2,Carolyn Hyppolite,10,Cecelia,4,Cheryl Ensom Dack,6,Chris Highland,2,Chris W.,1,Christian Agnostic,2,Christmas,31,ChuckyJesus,1,ConversationsWithA,1,Daniel out of the Lion's Den,15,Daniel Payne,1,Dano,17,darklady,7,Dave8,1,DealDoctor,24,Dethblight,6,dharma,4,Discordia,5,Doubting Thomas,2,Dr. Marlene Winell,24,Dr. Valerie Tarico,150,DRC,2,dswrites,2,Easter,28,EChamberlainMD,6,Ed (Teapot),2,Edward T. Babinski,1,Eric Jeffries,2,eveningmeadows,11,Evid3nc3,3,ex-Pastor Dan,19,exfundy,2,exPenty,8,Faithfool,2,Fernando Alcántar,6,freddieb42,2,freeatlast,6,G.M. Gates,2,Gary T. McDonald,2,God-O-Rama,6,Godlessgrrl,5,Greenworld,4,hellboundsoul,3,Herb,3,Houndies,3,illu minati,2,Incongruous Circumspection,11,J.W.,2,JadedAtheist,2,Jake Rhodes,3,James A. Haught,3,James C,2,James Wilhelm,9,Jazzybelle,3,Jennifer,3,Jody,3,John Draper,26,John Loftus,2,John Shores,26,Kalos,3,Karen Garst,31,Kim Anne Whittemore,1,Klym,24,Larry C,5,Larry Spencer,3,Letters,149,Libby Anne,3,Log1cd1ctat3s,2,Luke,1,lungfish,1,Michael Runyan,36,Michael Sherlock,5,Mriana,17,MtlRedAtheist,1,Neal Stone,20,News,185,Nikki,1,NYdiva,2,ooglyman,2,Opinion,980,Patrice,2,Paul Hannah,1,Paul So,26,Philippe Orlando,3,Philonous,1,Politics,59,Positivist,5,psychman33,5,Rational Logic,3,Rational Okie,2,Renoliz,10,Rev Ex-Evangelist,7,RickO,3,Robert Conner,8,Ronna Russell,12,Rudy,4,Russ Hamel,2,Science,30,SeageVT,3,Shaolin,4,Simplex Munditiis,3,Son of a preacher,5,Steve Dustcircle,4,Stillunsure,4,Summerbreeze,25,Susan G. Bonella,3,Tania,22,tekHedd,2,Testimonials,1003,Thanksgiving,4,The STeWpId MoNkEy,4,TheThinkingAtheist,5,Thin-ice,4,ThinkTank,5,Tim Sledge,4,Tim Wolf,1,TinMan,1,True Anathema,4,TruthSurge,1,Ubi Dubium,4,undercover agnostic,25,unoder,7,Vadarama,2,Victor J Webster,2,Videos,102,Vyckie,10,Webmdave,9,WidePathGirl,2,WizenedSage,137,xrayman,2,xxkindofboredxx,2,Yak,9,
ltr
item
ExChristian.Net: Low self esteem, trying church, and becoming suicidal
Low self esteem, trying church, and becoming suicidal
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T3PQA3bdj34/Tto74PEq_ZI/AAAAAAAAEGg/wWnP5sHlDmM/s320/abused-woman.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T3PQA3bdj34/Tto74PEq_ZI/AAAAAAAAEGg/wWnP5sHlDmM/s72-c/abused-woman.jpg
ExChristian.Net
https://new.exchristian.net/2011/12/low-self-esteme-trying-church-and.html
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/2011/12/low-self-esteme-trying-church-and.html
true
1266985040290242663
UTF-8
Loaded All Posts Not found any posts VIEW ALL Read more Reply Cancel reply Delete By Home PAGES POSTS View All RECOMMENDED FOR YOU LABEL ARCHIVE SEARCH ALL POSTS Not found any post match with your request Back Home Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat January February March April May June July August September October November December Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec just now 1 minute ago $$1$$ minutes ago 1 hour ago $$1$$ hours ago Yesterday $$1$$ days ago $$1$$ weeks ago more than 5 weeks ago Followers Follow THIS PREMIUM CONTENT IS LOCKED STEP 1: Share to a social network STEP 2: Click the link on your social network Copy All Code Select All Code All codes were copied to your clipboard Can not copy the codes / texts, please press [CTRL]+[C] (or CMD+C with Mac) to copy