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I Know JESUS Hates Me & I Don't Know Why

By Sad Christian Girl ~

I know JESUS hates me. I wish He didn't. I pray and pray and pray and I have doubts because I'm still being abused. I cannot afford to get my own place. I've prayed that this person leaves my life forever; but, it's still here. I pray that I can afford to move out and I'm still poor.

Corcovado jesusImage by doug88888 via Flickr

I'm very sad and I cry a lot each day because I'm in the same abusive situation. I plead with JESUS to let me in His heart. I'm having doubts. I'm beginning to think that maybe JESUS really doesn't care. All my prayers have not been answered. I've prayed and prayed and prayed for the same thing over and over and over; and nothing happens.

I'm trapped and a prisoner. I'm stuck between four walls. I cannot go to the kitchen or wash my clothes. I can't shower unless the door is locked and if no one's here. I'm going crazy!

I need someone to tell me or prove to me that JESUS either does care or doesn't exist. I'm so confused. My mind is going insane. I wake up and I'm stuck. I can't even leave the house sometimes. If JESUS loved me, then why doesn't He do something about it? Why is He letting this go on and on? Why is He ignoring me? I cry a lot and even my tears don't have JESUS notice me. What do I have to do to have JESUS care about my health?

Someone please talk to me. I need any thoughts you may have. I'm really miserable. Maybe if I become a non-beleiver, will I be healthy or out of this bad place? I'm confused and I'm not thinking straight because of all the abuse. I don't know what to believe in, IF anything. Maybe JESUS isn't for me??? Someone please help me!

I'm writing here because I feel like my doubts are building up and it's becoming valid doubts. I screamed at JESUS this morning and I feel He is ignoring me. Does God care? If He doesn't, what do you think I should do?