Truth is what I want

By Brother John --

I was raised Catholic, went to catholic school for 8 years and even was an altar boy (thought it was a way to be more holy).

Image by Daniel Y. Go via Flickr

I left the church in my teens but still had a desire to know & pray to God. After examining (not close enough or as many) other views (philosophy, psychology, astrology, etc.). I came to be a "born again" Christian in 1985. I attended church for many years and different denominations (Evangelical, Pentecostal & Baptist influence). After a great disappointment in church & religion I stopped going in 1996 but I never left God or Christianity. I would still read, pray and listen to Christian radio but was pretty much doing my own thing. It was in late 2004 that I felt I needed to get off the fence and seek God whole heartedly and surrender all. I started to have one of the MOST Spiritual time of my life. I never experienced God more than I have at this time. I was literally in an euphoric state for a couple of months. I had a boldness that was so unlike my character.

Then of course I thought joining a church was the thing to do. Though I met wonderful people, I had a extra sensitivity to what was going on. Religion, tradition and feel good programs was the order of the day. I went along with it for about 2 years, but my insides were crying out. I did more research and found out the origins of the church system was very much pagan. I stepped out of the organization and had more intimate fellowship with other believers who were more interested in a relationship with Christ & God than with a "church".

I then had a desire to come on YouTube and teach this message of No Religion - Just relationship. I also was on Stickam. But through my interactions with others of other beliefs and non belief, more questions arose. I studied and read more to answer these questions, especially those of the inconsistencies of the character of God in the Old Testament with the New. I have come to realize that much of what I have taken literally was more metaphor and that a lot of the stories and commands could not be of God but of other influences (man & myth). I also saw contradictions, mistranslations and errors. This has been very challenging for the last two years, but TRUTH is what I seek. Truth is what I want. Truth is what I ask from God with all my heart & being. This has been on the forefront of my mind for quite awhile.

TRUTH is what I seek. Truth is what I want. Truth is what I ask from God with all my heart & being. I can no longer deny what is going on inside of me. Though I can draw much inspiration and truths from the writers of the bible, I can no longer see it as the inerrant, infallible Word of God. As far as Jesus Christ I can no longer say he is God but a very anointed (Christ) prophet with very valuable teachings. As far as the resurrection, I am agnostic. The accounts contradict and are inconsistent.

If ETERNAL SALVATION is of the utmost important to God and our lives, I think God would of wrote a better book and Jesus would of wrote something as well and it would of been well preserved.

I can never deny the existence of God because of the very experiences I have had. I have now discovered Deism - the belief that we know God through Nature - which is his universal Word, reason which God has given us and our experiences. I still hold Jesus Christ teachings and way of life to the highest regard - He taught the Most Important Law: "Love God & Love your neighbor as yourself," and also "Do unto others as you would have done to you."

This sums it all up for me. It is with these new beliefs that I now call myself - a Modern Deist.