5/04/2010 | Share this article: View CommentsBy Dano --
Now that the Noah's Ark Ministries International research team has proclaimed with 99.9% certainty, that they have found the Ark atop Mount Ararat, in Turkey, we can believe beyond any doubt, the story of how God, because he was pissed, drowned every living thing on planet earth, except Noah, (The only man who met his strict standards), his family, and two, of several billion species of animal life.
Basically, we now know, with absolute certainty, that God dictated every word of the bible, and was there watching, to make sure that Caesars people included in the official Roman version of his creation of everything, only true stories of his miracles, etc.
This discovery, positively legitimizes all stories in the bible, that contain stuff that we sinners, several thousand years later, may question, just because all we have for a standard of proof, is something called science. We all know, Satan uses science, very effectively, to make us doubt things like the originality, of the story of Jesus and our need to love and flatter him for not reminding us, too often, in his autobiography/biography (whatever),who his biological father was.
So if you are looking forward to going to heaven, and hobnobbing forever with all your friends, who likewise see this historical, archaeological finding, as the ultimate proof that everything in the bible has been proven to be accurate, you can rejoice in knowing that a crack team Chinese and Turkish evangelical archaeologists are on the job.
It pretty much proves the story of Adam and Eve to be true also. I especially like how God made Eve out of one of Adams ribs, after observing that he didn't have anyone to have sex with, and populate the earth. The talking snake, and discovering that they were naked, narrative, has just the right mix of naughtiness and magic, that only God could contrive.