The Biggest Joke Book on Earth

By Carl S ~

Back in the 1960's there was a popular TV series called “Get Smart.” The show was a spoof of James Bond-type counter-espionage. Agent 86, a.k.a. “Smart,” was played by Don Adams. I didn't see many episodes, but I do remember a gag he often repeated. When Smart reported to the head of his agency, he would sometimes say things like, “Would you believe there were 200 of them?” There would be a long pause, and then, “Would you believe 100? What about 75?”

Would you believe this report: a guy fed 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes? Well, would you believe 50 loaves and 200 fishes? Would you believe 500 men, and no women and children? Didn't you believe me when I told you he also walked on water? Would you believe me if I said the lake was frozen? Would you believe a man lived to be 400 years old, and then he built a gigantic boat, when any 100 year old man would have trouble building a ship model? What else?

One commentator wrote about an atheist mother…

A Typical Theological Conversation

By Incongruous Circumspection ~

Theology, the foundation of any religion, is easily spaghettified by any generation that needs to twist it into the status quo. Sometimes, the old guard fights back and recruits young-uns to wave the banner flag for their cause, becoming more shrill as the rest of humanity moves on.

The following is a typical conversation one might have with a layperson of Christianity, where there is no "winning" the argument because, after all, theology can answer everything.

Skeptic: If you claim that we can look at our bodies and see God's handiwork, because of the perfectly functioning systems, all working together, why is there cancer?

Believer: Because, when Adam and Eve sinned, destruction started to happen in our bodies, due to the curse (jargon).

Skeptic: Wait! Two things. First, if sin is what causes cancer, then, when we are without sin, in Christ (jargon tossed in here for effect), why do we still get cancer? Second, if cancer was part of the curse, why was it not specifically mentioned by God, but rather, only some sort of toil stress and sweaty curse was mentioned?

Believer: Well, even though we are alive in Christ, we still have our earthly bodies and must follow the same laws of all other bits of humanity. Also, it didn't matter about what God mentioned in the curse. Adam and Eve were given the curse of death, which manifests itself in cancer.

Skeptic: If we have to follow the rules of all other bits of humanity, then why was Jesus and some of his followers able to heal, using the magical laws of supernaturalism?

Believer: Well...first of all, that was Jesus. Second, those were apostolic times (jargon). We don't have that ability anymore.

Skeptic: Huh?! Why not!? Other denominations would disagree and even claim to have healed others. But, if this were possible, why are people not flocking to healing sessions? Why is it not on camera? Why do we have no real human beings standing up and saying - I WAS HEALED!!!...and then God would be glorified (jargon) and many would be healed?

Believer: There are, I guess. You just have to Google them. But Jesus also told somebody not to tell everyone about the healing he had done to him.

Skeptic: Yes, but Jesus also told someone TO tell everyone. But, back to the beginning...why doesn't God heal everyone who asks him? He actually says he will in the Bible.

Believer: Their heart wasn't right.

Skeptic: What!!!??? How can you even SAY that! Jesus says that if you believe in me, you are no longer a member of darkness, but of light (jargon). So, how on earth can your heart NOT be right? You're part of the freaking club!

Believer: True, but consider Ananias and Sapphira. They were part of the club and yet lied about stuff and had to die.

Skeptic: Okay, wait... That doesn't even make sense. You're part of the club that states you are in darkness only if you're not a member of said club, but you CAN do something dark, which then requires death then, but not in this era?

Believer: Some things are a mystery.

Skeptic: No, some things are unbelievable for a reason.

And to all the theologians that think they could win the above argument, you obviously missed the point.