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Religion Makes Me Feel Sick

By Ryan --

I'm not religious at all. I've never been religious. However, I've tried to understand what drives a person to follow a religion. I've attended religion courses in high school and university, and read up on my own on various religious beliefs.

68.365 - Sick Little MonkeyImage by Jeff the Trojan via Flickr

I don't want to argue the merits of each religion because it's pointless. No one can win an argument about which religion is the most valid. Instead, the purpose of this rant is to vent about religion actually making me sick.

I'm an Atheist, and I am likely going to be an Atheist the rest of my life. I try to educate myself on other religions to be respectful of other peoples beliefs; however, I myself can't fathom any type of omnipotent being existing. My mind just won't accept that type of thinking.

Over the past few years I find myself getting more frustrated with religion. I find religious people can't keep their beliefs to themselves as if they feel the need to have their beliefs validated. Is this why religions such as Christianity are constantly trying to convert and "save" people?

Also, I find it very frustrating to see public dollars spent by governments to fund religion. It's disheartening to see money go towards capital projects (i.e. grants to build churches), military spending (i.e. fighting religion inspired wars), and special interest groups (i.e. giving money to Youth For Christ so they can convert more youth to Christianity).

As someone who is suffering from clinical depression, I find it difficult some days to get out of bed. The usual culprit that keeps me in bed is thinking about how predominant religion is in the world. The idea that the majority of people believe in an imaginary man that lives in the sky makes me feel an overwhelming sadness. This sadness is like a pit of lethargy I can't get out of. When I sink into my pit of depression I get severe migraines, feel dizzy, and have no drive.

Not only does religion bug me while I lay in bed; I can be watching TV when the thought of religion creeps into my mind. My face turns red, I feel extremely warm, begin to sweat, and have trouble breathing. The simple thought of religion quite often gives me panic attacks.

I've taken Celexa, Effexor, Paxil, and Pristiq. Also, I've seen 6 different Psychologists and Psychiatrists. I have yet to solve my problem stemming from my thoughts on religion.

Why did I write this little rant? I'm not completely sure. I think I was hoping it would be therapeutic. Also, if there is someone else out there going through what I am, I hope they learn they are not the only one.