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A new beginning

By Heart2Heart ~

I have been visiting this site for a while and stumbled upon it quite by accident. Reading the stories - has brought a sense of meaning and have found "kindred spirits" on this site -some stories leave me giggling, some fuming and others - I feel down-right sick to my core for what they have endured. I now have the option in front of me whether to be a story-teller (I am quite verbose) or to think about what I really want to say. The anxiety and trepidation I feel when I think about FINALLY putting EVERYTHING down on a blog for the world to see - is somewhat daunting - as I have never done this - end to end - tell somebody the how's the why's etc of how I came to "de-convert" - it's an on-going battle for me as I find that when things go wrong - I go into auto-pilot "please God, please Jesus - help me, make A happen make B not happen etc" I am sure many can relate.

I can feel the perspiration happening already at just the thought of "spilling the beans" so therefore, I need more time to think about this - just to let everyone know that your stories offer me hope, support and courage to move forward - it is good to feel that "I am not alone on this road of de-conversion" and that I am not some back-slidden, rebellious freak who is looking for a "false peace" - the peace that came with one day saying "no more - this is a bunch of cobblers" and the layers of lies, deceptions and half-truths being revealed along with damning evidence of the absolute fakeness, and pure evil I have encountered with "Christians" To those "brothers in arms" I say a big THANK YOU for your courage to stand up - I have lost friends and family due to this decision. I will share my story soon - at this point in time - it's just nice to chat and introduce myself and meet the people here who are willing to stand up and be counted. To those "trolls" who constantly sling insults and scriptures at us - I say - (in the words of Fleetwood Mac) "you can go your own way - yea - go your own way" leave us alone - we have had our hearts wrenched and our souls fragmented by a barrage of lies, bible-thumping and general BS for years - so take your own medicine and in the words of Paul (fraud) "dust off your feet and move on" - we DO NOT want to hear what you have to say...

I attended bible college and achieved good marks, I was an Assistant to the bible college dean and have read SO MANY books (I have since put them in the recycling) - errr you're welcome :-) Leave us alone - get lost, voetsak, hamba and beat it - let us have our moans, our talks, spill our guts and have a coffee while we chat here. Put this in your pipe and smoke it x-ians - the Sumerian texts predate the bible by thousand of years - so please - talk to the hand.

In the words of Arnie - "I will be back" - just need some time to correctly present my story to the good people of this blog. Many thanks.