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On the Edge of Becoming an Ex-Chriatian

By DT ~

I have a twin brother who has been ill for more than 20 years and lately he has developed additional health issues.

As a Christian I thought that I could rely on God to heal my him or at least minimize his suffering. After praying faithfully in spite of my growing skepticism and continually seeing no results I began to feel that I had been lied to and that there are no supernatural help for peoples suffering.

My brother is near the end of all hope and we have tried to hang on to our faith because that was all we had and still have. I feel that we are alone with no help from doctors or god and the situation is becoming dire.

My brother would rather die than continue with the torture that he has been through and still going through at this moment. Faith in a god seem so futile now, and I feel that everything that I was taught to believe is meaningless.

I have just made a last appeal to God, if he actually exists, it reveal himself and intervene our hour of extreme need. If nothing comes if this I will have to consign myself to giving up on the notion of a god that will help in times of need.

I don't know how much longer my brother will have the will to live in his present situation. I have even prayed to god to kill him or heal him before he attempts to kill himself as he has attempted just 6 months ago.

Where is this god when you need him the most?

I have to believe that we are alone to deal with our own problems or that God doesn't really love is as much as claimed by Christianity. I wish that there was a God we could rely on, but that doesn't seem to be working too well. I'm thinking it would be mentally healthier to give up on the god thing and rely on our own efforts to the best of our ability to change things for the better or let fate decide.