Where Do I Turn?

SHARE:

By Ashley ~

Well, I suppose in order to understand my current situation, I must give you some sort of background information. I'm 18 years old and a freshman at University. I have been raised in Christian schools, but not in a particularly Christian home. I mean, my mom is religious but does not attend church and my stepfather and father are both inactive in their faiths.

All of my friends are devout Christian (except for the new ones I have made at school) and up until recently, so was I. I never dreamed of leaving my faith or anything, although my doubts began when I was 15. But as most people told me when I voiced my doubts, I believed that it was "Satan" trying to lead me away from the faith or that I was struggling with a particular sin and that was leading me away from God. So back and forth, all through my high school years, I waged a war inside of myself between faith and reason, which often lead to bouts of depression and anxiety.

It was not until my senior year in high school that I seriously considered straying away from my faith, but of course I did not. I held on tightly and for some reason I could not let go. But I was fed up with God, I was tired of praying on my knees every night and reading my Bible every day and never hearing anything from him! I was angry to say the least, and tired and frustrated. However, I ignored those feelings and continued to hold on.

I have just completed my first semester at university and I am in a confusing situation. I think (although I still go back and forth) that I am no longer a believer. During first semester though, I became heavily involved in a large Christian organization on campus and developed a few friendships with people who were extremely religious. In fact, I have someone I would consider to be a best friend who is religious and we have agreed to be roommates next year. And this poses a problem for me, because I have discovered the true condition of my so-called faith, but I do not want to lose these friendships.

I struggle with where I fit in enough as it is, but to lose this is to lose my identity. And my very best friend is a strong Christian and I am afraid that if I tell her I will pushed away and we will no longer be friends. And not to mention my mom, who will disown me! I'm extremely fearful of where this deconversion might take me, but I know that I have finally found the right path.

COMMENTS

Agnosticator,5,Al Wm Johnson,3,Alegria,3,Alen Basic,1,American Apostate,3,Andrew Jasko,3,Anne R Keye,6,AnonAgno94,4,Apetivist,2,Apostate Paul,3,Articles,707,Aspieguy,12,Astreja,9,atheistnurse,10,AtheistToothFairy,1,austinrohm,3,Avangelism Project,2,Barrett Evans,2,Ben Love,69,billybee,2,BlackFreethought,12,Bob Keye,3,Bob R,4,boomSlang,1,Bore Venal Charlatan,2,Brad N,1,Brian Kellogg,8,Brisancian,3,Bruce Gerencser,1,Bruno Corey,1,C. T. Ogden,4,Carl S,377,Carol Putnam,2,Carolyn Hyppolite,10,Cecelia,4,Cheryl Ensom Dack,6,Chris Highland,2,Chris W.,1,Christian Agnostic,2,Christmas,31,ChuckyJesus,1,ConversationsWithA,1,Daniel out of the Lion's Den,15,Daniel Payne,1,Dano,17,darklady,7,Dave8,1,DealDoctor,24,Dethblight,6,dharma,4,Discordia,5,Doubting Thomas,2,Dr. Marlene Winell,24,Dr. Valerie Tarico,150,DRC,2,dswrites,2,Easter,28,EChamberlainMD,6,Ed (Teapot),2,Edward T. Babinski,1,Eric Jeffries,2,eveningmeadows,11,Evid3nc3,3,ex-Pastor Dan,19,exfundy,2,exPenty,8,Faithfool,2,Fernando Alcántar,6,freddieb42,2,freeatlast,6,G.M. Gates,2,Gary T. McDonald,2,God-O-Rama,6,Godlessgrrl,5,Greenworld,4,hellboundsoul,3,Herb,3,Houndies,3,illu minati,2,Incongruous Circumspection,11,J.W.,2,JadedAtheist,2,Jake Rhodes,3,James A. Haught,3,James C,2,James Wilhelm,9,Jazzybelle,3,Jennifer,3,Jody,3,John Draper,26,John Loftus,2,John Shores,26,Kalos,3,Karen Garst,31,Kim Anne Whittemore,1,Klym,24,Larry C,5,Larry Spencer,3,Letters,149,Libby Anne,3,Log1cd1ctat3s,2,Luke,1,lungfish,1,Michael Runyan,36,Michael Sherlock,5,Mriana,17,MtlRedAtheist,1,Neal Stone,20,News,185,Nikki,1,NYdiva,2,ooglyman,2,Opinion,980,Patrice,2,Paul Hannah,1,Paul So,26,Philippe Orlando,3,Philonous,1,Politics,59,Positivist,5,psychman33,5,Rational Logic,3,Rational Okie,2,Renoliz,10,Rev Ex-Evangelist,7,RickO,3,Robert Conner,8,Ronna Russell,12,Rudy,4,Russ Hamel,2,Science,30,SeageVT,3,Shaolin,4,Simplex Munditiis,3,Son of a preacher,5,Steve Dustcircle,4,Stillunsure,4,Summerbreeze,25,Susan G. Bonella,3,Tania,22,tekHedd,2,Testimonials,1003,Thanksgiving,4,The STeWpId MoNkEy,4,TheThinkingAtheist,5,Thin-ice,4,ThinkTank,5,Tim Sledge,4,Tim Wolf,1,TinMan,1,True Anathema,4,TruthSurge,1,Ubi Dubium,4,undercover agnostic,25,unoder,7,Vadarama,2,Victor J Webster,2,Videos,102,Vyckie,10,Webmdave,9,WidePathGirl,2,WizenedSage,137,xrayman,2,xxkindofboredxx,2,Yak,9,
ltr
item
ExChristian.Net: Where Do I Turn?
Where Do I Turn?
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6FPaacTPmgY/Tw13zTSMs3I/AAAAAAAAEOk/khGMjyhBkZw/s320/ywcollege.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6FPaacTPmgY/Tw13zTSMs3I/AAAAAAAAEOk/khGMjyhBkZw/s72-c/ywcollege.jpg
ExChristian.Net
https://new.exchristian.net/2012/01/where-do-i-turn.html
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/2012/01/where-do-i-turn.html
true
1266985040290242663
UTF-8
Loaded All Posts Not found any posts VIEW ALL Read more Reply Cancel reply Delete By Home PAGES POSTS View All RECOMMENDED FOR YOU LABEL ARCHIVE SEARCH ALL POSTS Not found any post match with your request Back Home Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat January February March April May June July August September October November December Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec just now 1 minute ago $$1$$ minutes ago 1 hour ago $$1$$ hours ago Yesterday $$1$$ days ago $$1$$ weeks ago more than 5 weeks ago Followers Follow THIS PREMIUM CONTENT IS LOCKED STEP 1: Share to a social network STEP 2: Click the link on your social network Copy All Code Select All Code All codes were copied to your clipboard Can not copy the codes / texts, please press [CTRL]+[C] (or CMD+C with Mac) to copy