Knock and it shall be opened unto you

SHARE:

By Lucy ~

I was brought up in the standard 'vaguely Christian' english way- hymns at morning assembly, harvest festival, the scramble to be Mary in the nativity play. Religion didn't trouble me overly much until I started attending an Christian public school in my mid teens. At that age you're desperate for a group to fit in to, and I remember making a very positive decision to believe in God at 16.

Being an evangelical institution, there was great focus on having a 'personal relationship' with Christ. I was told that once you accepted Jesus as your saviour the Holy Spirit would bless you and live within you. People would testify to this in prayer meetings and at the school's Christian Union, sometimes on the verge of tears, and it was something I fervently wanted for myself.
It never happened though. I believed, I prayed, read my Bible, asked Jesus to come into my heart, fasted, everything I could think of or was advised to do, and still nothing. It took me years to realise that the door I was knocking on was not only locked, but didn't exist in the first place; it was nothing more than a scribbled drawing of a doorknob on a solid wall.

As an atheist, I now ask this question of Christians I fall into debate with; why did God ignore me? I was hardly the world's greatest sinner, and I sincerely wanted God in my life, begged him to make use of me in his work. Why would he turn me down? I can be flippant about it now, but it was very distressing at the time. I sometimes get answers in the 'mysterious ways' vein, but most believers lay the blame at my door.I wasn't sincere, or didn't pray hard enough, or didn't use the correct form of words. So the impression I'm left with is that the whole thing is either some sort of blindfolded obstacle course, or completely reliant on God's whim.

Of course, the real answer is rather simple- I'm just not very good at deluding myself.

COMMENTS

A. Uiet Bhor,8,Agnosticator,9,Al Wm Johnson,3,Alegria,3,Alen Basic,1,American Apostate,3,Andrew Jasko,3,Anne R Keye,6,AnonAgno94,4,Apostate Paul,3,Articles,844,Aspieguy,12,Astreja,19,Atheist Dad,1,atheistnurse,10,AtheistToothFairy,6,Avangelism Project,7,Ben Love,69,Bill J,17,billybee,10,BlackFreethought,11,Bob Keye,3,Bob P,9,Bob R,5,boomSlang,2,Bore Venal Charlatan,2,Brian B,5,Brian Kellogg,8,Brisancian,3,Brother Jeff,9,Bruce Gerencser,2,Bruno Corey,1,Butch,2,C. T. Ogden,4,Calladus,5,Carl S,372,Carol Putnam,2,Carolyn Hyppolite,10,Cecelia,4,Cheryl Ensom Dack,6,Chris Highland,1,Chris W.,1,Christian Agnostic,2,Christmas,66,ChuckyJesus,7,ConversationsWithA,1,D. R. Khashaba,6,DagoodS,17,Daniel Morgan,2,Daniel out of the Lion's Den,15,Daniel Payne,1,Dano,28,darklady,7,Dave8,1,DealDoctor,29,Dennis Diehl,1,Dethblight,6,dharma,4,Discordia,4,DocMIke,30,Doubting Thomas,2,Doug John,1,Dr. Marlene Winell,42,Dr. Valerie Tarico,215,DRC,2,dswrites,2,Easter,32,EChamberlainMD,12,Ed (Teapot),2,Eric Jeffries,2,eveningmeadows,14,Evid3nc3,4,ex-Pastor Dan,25,exfundy,8,exPenty,8,Faithfool,2,Feature,6,Fernando Alcántar,5,freddieb42,2,freeatlast,6,Freethinking Okie,1,Gabe,3,Gary T. McDonald,2,God-O-Rama,6,Godlessgrrl,5,Greenworld,4,hellboundsoul,3,Houndies,3,Ian,14,illu minati,2,Incongruous Circumspection,11,J.C. Samuelson,25,J.W.,2,JadedAtheist,2,Jake Rhodes,3,James A. Haught,4,James C,4,Jazzybelle,3,Jennifer,3,Jody,5,John Blatt,8,John Botha,1,John Draper,26,John Fraysse,7,John Loftus,26,John Shores,26,Kalos,4,Karen Garst,31,Kevin Parry,1,Klym,24,Larry C,5,Larry Spencer,5,Letters,150,Libby Anne,3,Log1cd1ctat3s,2,Lorena,16,Luke,1,lungfish,1,Micah_Cowan,3,Michael Runyan,33,Michael Sherlock,5,Mriana,38,MtlRedAtheist,8,News,271,Nikki,1,Nvrgoingbk,7,NYdiva,2,ooglyman,2,Opinion,974,Patrice,2,Paul So,26,Philippe Orlando,3,Philonous,1,Politics,59,Positivist,5,Psy-Cop,1,psychman33,5,Rational Okie,3,Renoliz,10,Rev Ex-Evangelist,7,RickO,3,Robert Conner,8,Ronna Russell,12,RubySera,1,Rudy,4,Russ Hamel,2,SailerFraud,5,Sam Singleton,5,Science,105,SConner,2,SeageVT,3,Shaolin,4,Sharon,3,Simplex Munditiis,3,Son of a preacher,5,Stephen F. Uhl,4,Steve Dustcircle,4,Stillunsure,4,Stronger Now,3,summerbreeze,33,Susan G. Bonella,3,Tania,22,tekHedd,2,Testimonials,1913,Thanksgiving,8,The New Heretics,4,The STeWpId MoNkEy,4,The Thylacine,2,TheThinkingAtheist,5,Thin-ice,5,ThinkTank,5,Thomas,1,Tim Simmons,22,Tim Sledge,4,Tim Whistorn,2,Tim Wolf,1,TinMan,1,True Anathema,4,TruthSurge,11,Tyrone Williams,5,u,1,Ubi Dubium,4,undercover agnostic,24,unoder,7,Vadarama,2,Victor J Webster,2,Videos,433,Vyckie,11,Webmdave,85,WidePathGirl,2,WizenedSage,158,xrayman,6,xxkindofboredxx,2,Zach Moore,13,
ltr
item
ExChristian.Net: Knock and it shall be opened unto you
Knock and it shall be opened unto you
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9LwZ6FYf-oo/TwgeLLmwQAI/AAAAAAAAENw/5nxVvlAiVxc/s320/009.Knock.JPG
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9LwZ6FYf-oo/TwgeLLmwQAI/AAAAAAAAENw/5nxVvlAiVxc/s72-c/009.Knock.JPG
ExChristian.Net
https://new.exchristian.net/2012/01/knock-and-it-shall-be-opened-unto-you.html
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/2012/01/knock-and-it-shall-be-opened-unto-you.html
true
1266985040290242663
UTF-8
Loaded All Posts Not found any posts VIEW ALL Read more Reply Cancel reply Delete By Home PAGES POSTS View All RECOMMENDED FOR YOU LABEL ARCHIVE SEARCH ALL POSTS Not found any post match with your request Back Home Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat January February March April May June July August September October November December Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec just now 1 minute ago $$1$$ minutes ago 1 hour ago $$1$$ hours ago Yesterday $$1$$ days ago $$1$$ weeks ago more than 5 weeks ago Followers Follow THIS PREMIUM CONTENT IS LOCKED STEP 1: Share to a social network STEP 2: Click the link on your social network Copy All Code Select All Code All codes were copied to your clipboard Can not copy the codes / texts, please press [CTRL]+[C] (or CMD+C with Mac) to copy