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A Heartfelt Apology

By Natasha Rumble ~

Dear members,

The purpose of this letter is to ask you to forgive me for the arrogant, mean-spirited, and cruel comments that I posted on this website a few months ago. My screen name is Natasha Rumble. Many of you might remember me as “the deluded fundy” who posted outlandish comments on this website. I was truly insensitive. I was insensitive because I was taught that atheists are perverted people who eventually turn out to be outlaws (seriously, my pastor taught that in church).

But, I wasn’t prepared for the unforeseeable events that almost shred my family to pieces. I wasn’t prepared for the emotional turmoil that my family went through. No!!!! Not even the Holy Spirit could have prepared me for the tremendous changes that took place in the last few months. I am trembling as I am writing this.

A few months ago, I shared with the members of this site that my beloved sister had a stillborn. She lost her long awaited child after laboring in prayer for ten years. She lost her beloved child and after enduring a number of miscarriages over the past ten years. She was so devoted to God She painted verses of thanksgiving on the walls of the baby’s nursery; and she hosted a Thanksgiving service to give thanks to God. Despite her seemingly unshakable faith, the baby died. Consequently, my sister slipped into a deep depression for two months. In the beginning of October, she revealed to our family as well as the pastor that she has completely renounced Christianity as a true religion. She called herself agnostic. In response to her loss of faith, our church has completely shunned her. The deacons are meeting this week to decide whether or not my sister should ex-communicated.

How can people who claim to have the love of God shun someone because she stopped believing in God? Instead of rejecting my sister, I support her. I even work out with her. This whole experience has completely changed my perception of former Christians. If my sister could lose her faith, it could happen to anybody. I forgot to add that my sister’s husband confessed that he has been a closet atheist for years, but he refrained from revealing the truth because he was afraid of losing my sister. To make matters worse, a deaconess at the church prophesied that my sister lost the baby because of her husband’s hidden sins. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!

My sister decided to start seeing a therapist to help her cope with her loss. She hasn’t been able to return to work, but she has been working out at the gym and she even joined a Meet Up group that consists of women who have walked in her shoes.
Please accept my heartfelt apology. I was wrong for being judgmental, rude, and arrogant. Although I am still a Christian, I haven’t attended church in three months. I refuse to be around those hypocrites.

I still believe in God. I still pray and seek guidance from God. I just can’t stop believing. I just can’t do that right now.

Now, I am more compassionate towards former Christians.

Please forgive me. I am sorry for the hurtful words that I have written to people who were sincerely looking for help. I am so sorry. I was wrong.