Skip to main content

Memories of Earth

By BeforeIWasBorn ~

It's the first day in heaven and after five hours of praising and glorifying god, you decide to go fishing.

You snap your fingers and have a brand new high dollar rod and reel , a fully stocked tackle box, and a solid gold can full of live multicolored worms. You head off (no shoes, no stickers) to an immaculately groomed small pond surrounded by the most gorgeous flowering trees. The temperature is 72 and it is sunny with a light breeze from the west. (this is heaven so you get to decide which way is west).

Just as you settle in a friend notices you and orders 2 cups of King Oscar coffee (only kind allowed in heaven however it can taste however you wish it to taste) and comes to sit by you.

He tells you he has been to the bowling alley (solid gold lanes and platinum bowling balls) and left after 178 strikes in a row. He says that he would never have approached that kind of record on earth.

And so begins your beautiful memories in heaven only to increase by the day for eternity.

After 250 years of everything being just perfect, your great great great granddaughter who is also in heaven (was a Muslim but fortunately converted to Christianity hours before her death) asks you about your first day in heaven and your life on earth. Nobody in 250 years has asked you about your life on earth. You relate your first day in heaven story and then remember an eerily similar story occurred on earth.

Its a Sunday morning and your wife an you have a horrible argument and you tell her that you are going fishing until she calms down at which point she throws the milk bucket at you hitting you in knee and creating an ugly gash. You hobble down to the barn to find your cane pole an realize you only have one hook. You dig for worms but there are none to be found so you have to buy some at the bait shop for $5/ dozen. It almost makes you sick. Its 94 degrees at 10 in the morning with no wind.

A storm from the night before has pushed a tree over in your favorite spot on the pond and the mosquitoes are relentless.

Your friend walks by in a half listless state with tears streaming down his face. You catch up to him and he tells you his wife had a beautiful baby girl last night. While he was with his wife at the hospital the bowling alley burned down and his teammates were all burned to death as well as 40 other people. You listen and cry with him for several hours and retrace back to the pond to gather your fishing gear when on the line is a fish. You pull it in to find the biggest crappie you have ever seen. You take it to the bait shop and are told it is almost certainly a state record if not a world record. As you skip home you remember in what state you left and warily enter the kitchen. Your wife races at you and throws her arms around you and tells you that she doesn't know what she would do without you.

Your 3 greats granddaughter says that was a horrible wonderful memory, something that could only happen in a place other than heaven. A tear comes to your eye and you wonder if it is blasphemy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE FRIGHTENING FACE

By David Andrew Dugle ~ O ctober. Halloween. It's time to visit the haunted house I used to live in. When I was five my dad was able to build a big modern house. Moving in before it was complete, my younger brother and I were sleeping in a large unfinished area directly under the living room. It should have been too new to be a haunted house, but now and then I would wake up in the tiny, dark hours and see the blurry image of a face, or at least what I took to be a face, glowing, faintly yellow, high up on the wall near the ceiling. I'm not kidding! Most nights it didn’t appear at all. But when it did show itself, at first I thought it was a ghost and it scared me like nothing else I’d ever seen. But the face never did anything; unmoving, it just stayed in that one spot. Turning on the lights would make it disappear, making my fears difficult to explain, so I never told anyone. My Sunday School teachers had always told me to be good because God was just behind m

The Blame Game or Shit Happens

By Webmdave ~ A relative suffering from Type 1 diabetes was recently hospitalized for an emergency amputation. The physicians hoped to halt the spread of septic gangrene seeping from an incurable foot wound. Naturally, family and friends were very concerned. His wife was especially concerned. She bemoaned, “I just don’t want this (the advanced sepsis and the resultant amputation) to be my fault.” It may be that this couple didn’t fully comprehend the seriousness of the situation. It may be that their choice of treatment was less than ideal. Perhaps their home diabetes maintenance was inconsistent. Some Christians I know might say the culprit was a lack of spiritual faith. Others would credit it all to God’s mysterious will. Surely there is someone or something to blame. Someone to whom to ascribe credit. Isn’t there? A few days after the operation, I was talking to a man who had family members who had suffered similar diabetic experiences. Some of those also suffered ea

Reasons for my disbelief

By Rebekah ~ T here are many layers to the reasons for my disbelief, most of which I haven't even touched on here... When I think of Evangelical Christianity, two concepts come to mind: intense psychological traps, and the danger of glossing over and missing a true appreciation for the one life we know that we have. I am actually agnostic when it comes to a being who set creation in motion and remains separated from us in a different realm. If there is a deistic God, then he/she doesn't particularly care if I believe in them, so I won't force belief and instead I will focus on this one life that I know I have, with the people I can see and feel. But I do have a lot of experience with the ideas of God put forth by Evangelical Christianity, and am confident it isn't true. If it's the case god has indeed created both a physical and a heavenly spiritual realm, then why did God even need to create a physical realm? If the point of its existence is to evolve to pas

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo

Why I left the Canadian Reformed Church

By Chuck Eelhart ~ I was born into a believing family. The denomination is called Canadian Reformed Church . It is a Dutch Calvinistic Christian Church. My parents were Dutch immigrants to Canada in 1951. They had come from two slightly differing factions of the same Reformed faith in the Netherlands . Arriving unmarried in Canada they joined the slightly more conservative of the factions. It was a small group at first. Being far from Holland and strangers in a new country these young families found a strong bonding point in their church. Deutsch: Heidelberger Katechismus, Druck 1563 (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) I was born in 1955 the third of eventually 9 children. We lived in a small southern Ontario farming community of Fergus. Being young conservative and industrious the community of immigrants prospered. While they did mix and work in the community almost all of the social bonding was within the church group. Being of the first generation born here we had a foot in two