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I wish I knew how to be a better friend

From A Friend ~

My friend needs help... more help than I can give.

I would like to post the letter below if it is possible, maybe he will read it someday... or someone else will read it and they will reconize a friend trying to reach out.

My dearest friend,

When we met, you told me you where a Christian, I told you I had no god. I honestly never intended to deconvert you. Years passed, we accepted our differences. I saw you change slowly...questioning your faith, being dissatisfied with the answers your church and Christian friends would tell you. We enjoyed talking for endless hours about these questions: life, evolution, love, faith, travelling. They started to warn you against me...I never said a word against them. I never said anything against your faith. You still got more and more confused about your faith.

In your own words it slowly became clear: you could not believe anymore. We both knew knew it. Your faith had become an unbearable burden.

Then, without warning you pushed me out of your life. You told me that I was bad for your relationship with jesus. In tears, you denied everything you ever told me about you questioning your faith. I suddenly became the only reason you are now confused. I know your friends have been warning you since we met that you will lose jesus because of me. You have been struggling and suffering for years now...same pattern. You isolate yourself.

For the first time I confronted you. I could not pretend anymore... I said out loud what you have been whispering in tears and writing in letters to me: you want to free your mind. Shutting me out of your life, will not make your faith come back...

You say I am bad for your faith, but you still write to me in distress about your pain...and if I backfires at me because people tell you it’s my fault you are in distress.

I will step out of your life even if you don’t want to let me go. People have been telling you what to think since you were born. I will not be one of them.

It is a hard thing to see someone we love torture themselves...and feel helpless.

I wish I could help you.
I wish I could make this fear of hell controlling you...go away.
I wish you would stop seeing yourself as a sinner.
I wish you would trust yourself and see how intelligent you are.
I wish you would embrace your free spirit and stop punishing yourself for asking questions.

I hope someday you will be at peace...because now you are in great pain.

I am sorry...I wish I knew how to be a better friend to you.

With all my sincere love,
Your friend