9/08/2012 | Share this article: View CommentsBy Danimal ~
As I have mentioned in past postings, I am a 47 year old man with Aspergers sydrome, a form of autism. Like many people with AS, I am also afflicted with bipolar disorder and social anxieties. Certain fabrics, people touching me, lotion on my hand, fluorescent lights, bright lights, sudden loud noises. and crowds of people drive me nearly insane. My iPhone ringing even frightens me. I think in very literal, concrete terms. I cannot discern facial expressions, nonverbal communication, and abstract ideas. Some days are just harder than others. Like many Aspies, I am also an atheist. Unfortunately, I am socially naive. I am unable to understand peoples' motivations. I wish I could, but it probably won't happen.
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I don't even know what faith is. I have no concept of unconditional love, eternal life, hell, heaven, and final judgement by some deity. These words may be in Chinese, for all I know. Everyone else seems to understand all this, but it's a big mystery for me. What causes people to be devout and liars at the same time? Is it OK to do this? Why do they feel sorry for me being an Aspie, but they are free to do irrational things? How is Christianity even possible when so many of its adherents are batshit crazy?
These questions aren't rhetorical. I really don't know the answers. I can't talk about my life to anyone. They either don't understand or don't want to hear about it. Even my wife doesn't want to hear it. Only on this site have I found acceptance and support. Wow, atheists are supportive and kind. The Christians aren't.
I've been told that I actually function at the level of someone less than half my age. I think it's true. I rarely make friends with people my own age. I talk best to the elderly and younger people. I'm so high on the Aspie scale that it's scary.
Please help me to understand these people. I can't do it.
Filed Under: Letters