My journey to become an atheist was a very long one. I had my doubts from back when I was around 10 years old (I'm 25 now). I remember back when I was a kid I was terrified about going to Hell. I would ask myself often if I really believed in Jesus and I tried to convince myself I did.
Image by James Jordan via FlickrI grew up in a Christian family and was surrounded by Christians my whole life. I went to a Lutheran school and went to church there everyday as well as another church outside of school every Sunday. Christianity was a big part of my life back then.
I was always a skeptical person and tried to use logical reasoning. I guess because of Christianity being such a big part of my life I never questioned it until I got older. I was always scared though.
As I got older I slowly started to realize how absurd Christianity is. This is where the brainwashing comes into play. Even though I knew how stupid some things were, I ignored it thinking that there was some bigger purpose.
The big turning point for me was a couple years ago. I was unemployed and had a lot of free time. I would think a lot about myself and my future as well as religion in general. So I started to do some research and what I found was incredible. Something that would change my life forever.
First thing I did was I researched the history of Christianity. Wow! Christianity borrowed things from other religions. Even the cross is a pagan symbol coming from the Wheel of the Zodiac. Imagine that, all those people who wear crosses and don't even know where it came from.
Next I went for the Bible itself. I really started to study it and what I found was sickening. Entire cities being destroyed, kids being murdered, the owning and beating of slaves, etc. As well as things that are just plain silly such as men who lived to be hundreds of years old. The list goes on and on.
There is so much suffering, pain and fear in the Bible that I couldn't believe it. It was like a smack in the face for me to wake up. Then and there I decided I wasn't going to be a part of such a thing. I'm a good natured, peace loving person and I wouldn't harm a fly. This went against
everything I am.
I then started to think about all the wars that religion has caused over the years. All the advances in technology that were halted due to religion. We as a people are limiting ourselves because of this. I just couldn't go on knowing that I in some way was a part of it.
When I finally decided not to be religious anymore a strange thing happened, I wasn't scared anymore. I also found a new appreciation for life. I realized I couldn't rely on some fairy tale to save me from whatever was happening. I needed to do things on my own and create my own purpose in life. I also never felt so free.
So here I am now. I'm no longer worrying about going to Hell. I don't care about what the "Christian" thing to do is. I just do whatever I think is right and listen to my heart. I'm just...happy.
I would like to leave you with a thought that really struck me as I was researching. It's from a documentary that, unfortunately, I can't remember the name.
Let's say that Christianity was true and you end up in Hell. Wouldn't you wished you had believed? No, because Heaven wouldn't be much better knowing that there are millions of people in Hell suffering horribly and there was nothing you could do about it.
That's exactly how I feel.
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