Skip to main content

It’s True – the Tabloids Tell Me So!

By Carl S ~

There's a column featured in "The Week" magazine entitled, " It must be true... I read it in the tabloids." (Some would add – or on the Internet. Recently, even CNN reported as true a fictitious story they got from the Internet.)

Tabloid RackImage by brownpau via Flickr
If you reported that Elvis' newborn daughter was seen recently in Memphis, Tennessee, some people would believe this, for you can fool some of the people all of the time. How about an alien abduction covered up by the FBI? (Aha!) Ditto. The face of Jesus photographed on the Martian landscape? Whoops, that's been done already. Many people will, and do, believe anything. And, if you have more than one tabloid writing about the same movie star, for example, what they say MUST be true, right?

Scriptural writings are just like tabloids. For starters, there are no historical accounts of a man named Jesus working miracles in the time period he allegedly lived; curing blindness, raising the dead, feeding THOUSANDS with just a few loaves of bread and a few fishes, on TWO occasions. All these things exist ONLY in that Gospels-Tabloid book, where the similarities between it and the bizarre stories in the National Enquirer are strikingly obvious.

But, millions will say, "It must be true...I read it in the Bible, and the bible says it's true. Period." You want corpses leaving their graves, walking around town, meeting (greeting? returning home? then what?), you can read it in the bible, but nowhere else in the historical records of those times, or after. A man and woman made from clay and a rib, a human race punished because of a mistake (called curiosity), and a man undergoing torture and death to correct that mistake? Surely, someone is making this stuff up, like Elvis's 2010 love child. It's in that "Holy" tabloid, though, so it MUST be true. One man and only ONE man, claiming that 500, count 'em - 500, witnesses saw a dead man come back to life! He wouldn't get three minutes on CNN, but what he said has to be true. It's in the bible.

To verify such extraordinary stories before publishing, wouldn’t a trustworthy scribe seek sources and facts to substantiate these incredible and "exclusive revelations?" It appears the investigator was told, "Just go back and tell everybody to take our word for these things; we have an inside track on the real truth.” Hey, the more far out and fantastic the articles, then the more truth they contain. Right? Some apologists have actually written that such fantastic stories MUST be true, since nobody could make this stuff up.

Scriptural writings are just like tabloids. For starters, there are no historical accounts of a man named Jesus working miracles in the time period he allegedly lived; curing blindness, raising the dead, feeding THOUSANDS with just a few loaves of bread and a few fishes, on TWO occasions. All these things exist ONLY in that Gospels-Tabloid book, where the similarities between it and the bizarre stories in the National Enquirer are strikingly obvious. That nativity story contains descriptions of events (verse after verse) found nowhere else in all the recorded histories of the time; no heavenly choir, or census, or slaughter of children by the thousands. Or didn't such mass slaughter get reported in those days? No child-god. Such a cover-up! In fact, it wasn't until decades after this alleged child-god died that this story was even written down. But, what the hey, it's in scripture-tabloid-bible, so it MUST BE TRUE, and everyone must believe it, or else...

I came across a quotation by a man attending a Xmas church service. "It would be a beautiful story,” he said, "if it were true." I must disagree. It's like a story about breeding a lamb for the slaughter. Surely, even the National Enquirer would have done better, but even the Enquirer does not claim to possess universal truths. They have too much integrity to go that far. They know the difference between what is true and what people wish was true, but they also know about man’s infinite capacity for gullibility.


Popular posts from this blog


By David Andrew Dugle ~ O ctober. Halloween. It's time to visit the haunted house I used to live in. When I was five my dad was able to build a big modern house. Moving in before it was complete, my younger brother and I were sleeping in a large unfinished area directly under the living room. It should have been too new to be a haunted house, but now and then I would wake up in the tiny, dark hours and see the blurry image of a face, or at least what I took to be a face, glowing, faintly yellow, high up on the wall near the ceiling. I'm not kidding! Most nights it didn’t appear at all. But when it did show itself, at first I thought it was a ghost and it scared me like nothing else I’d ever seen. But the face never did anything; unmoving, it just stayed in that one spot. Turning on the lights would make it disappear, making my fears difficult to explain, so I never told anyone. My Sunday School teachers had always told me to be good because God was just behind m

How to come out to your parents as non-religious

By Marlene Winell ~  A fter going through your own deconstruction of religious belief, it can feel like a challenge to reveal your change to your religious parents.   You might have a lot of fear about their reaction – anger, hurt, disappointment in you, and so on.   You might fear being disowned.   This is a common concern because our families mean a lot to us.   It’s natural to want approval from your parents.   When you were young, you depended on them for your life; you absolutely needed their love, care, and approval.   So, even in adulthood, we long for our parents to love us unconditionally.     However, in terms of human development over the life span,  it is necessary for   everyone   to outgrow their parents.   Growing up to maturity involves becoming the authority in your own life and taking on the job of self-care and self-love.   This is true even if you aren’t recovering from religion.   Personal health and well-being, in other words, means that your inner “Adult” is tak

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

Why I left the Canadian Reformed Church

By Chuck Eelhart ~ I was born into a believing family. The denomination is called Canadian Reformed Church . It is a Dutch Calvinistic Christian Church. My parents were Dutch immigrants to Canada in 1951. They had come from two slightly differing factions of the same Reformed faith in the Netherlands . Arriving unmarried in Canada they joined the slightly more conservative of the factions. It was a small group at first. Being far from Holland and strangers in a new country these young families found a strong bonding point in their church. Deutsch: Heidelberger Katechismus, Druck 1563 (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) I was born in 1955 the third of eventually 9 children. We lived in a small southern Ontario farming community of Fergus. Being young conservative and industrious the community of immigrants prospered. While they did mix and work in the community almost all of the social bonding was within the church group. Being of the first generation born here we had a foot in two

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

Disney, the Creator, and Christ

By Carl S ~ I s Dumbo more real than Jesus? The answer depends on who you ask. Doesn't every culture have fantasy-fabricated individuals, often with lives of heroic proportions? Haven't celebrities with their real/imagined lives, been around forever? In the beginning, man created gods and keeps altering them. My oldest brother was an artist. He could paint a portrait of someone you'd know, and change the character of that person with a couple of brush-strokes, or make a sculpture of a figure and change its proportions daily, even hourly. He made figures out of Silly Putty, and watched each one as it changed form. Eventually each melted into a puddle. All gods are like that, because they're only as "real" as a person's imagination continues to create them, at whim. Humans need outlets for frustrations, anger, fear of the future and the unknown. Ergo, in the beginning, man created entertainment, Those seeking explanations for the origins of nature, death,