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Now My Eyes Are Open

By WidePathGirl ~

I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian family, we went to church twice every Sunday, once every Wednesday, and every night of Revival which was usually held in the Spring and would last from 6 pm until midnight or later. In the summer while all my friends were going to exotic locations and theme parks for vacation I went to 2 weeks of church camp where we attended service 3 times a day. Growing up I could not wear shorts, a 2 piece bathing suit, go to school dances, any movies other than rated G. I could not watch all the fun television shows my friends at school watched, we only watched Little House and the Waltons, Hee Haw, Lawrence Welk, etc. Oh and every Sunday before church we watched the church shows. If I said "gee" or "heck" I'd get beaten.

On Sundays I could not go to the movies, swim, fish, or buy and sell anything, or "work". I was not allowed to play school sports or attend most school functions. We prayed before every meal and every night before bed.

At church we were taught that the pastor was the same as God, his wife was next in line. NO ONE did anything unless he sanctioned it. If he disapproved of something he would preach about it in church then everyone would suddenly stop trick or treating or having jack-o lanterns on Halloween because it was "evil". My church believed in demons, if you were stricken with cancer or some other horrible illness they taught that you had probably sinned and this was your punishment. Repent and you'd be healed! If you had a mental illness then you had a demon. You were not allowed to seek mental health, you were to speak to the pastor instead.

I'll never forget when I was around ten years old the pastor's wife decided to teach us in Sunday School the book of Revelations. I've never been so terrified in my life. She spared no details in telling us how if we weren't "saved" we'd be thrown into hell and be ravaged by demons, burning for eternity. She told us all about the Anti-Christ, how he was already here and he'd make us all have #'s tattooed on our foreheads, etc etc etc.

I grew up alternating between hating church and being too terrified not to worship God, I was always told he'd strike me down, that he saw everything. To this day I get scared if I curse him, like a bolt of lightening will zap me. I know it sounds stupid but that's how deep the brainwashing goes.

Everyone in my family is religious except for me and my brother. All of my cousins have clung to the church with a blindness that astounds me and makes me sick. They preach on Facebook constantly, ranting and raving about sinners, especially attacking homosexuals, abortion., liberals. They hate Obama and the democratic party. Truth be told I'm so scared of them I'm afraid to like your facebook page for fear they'll see it.

After years of seeing the church and so called "christians" treat people so horribly, I left. I don't attend any church and if I have go into one, I feel such horrible feelings I want out. (maybe I have a demon ha ha!) Hearing these people spew their hate makes me sick. My husband is an atheist, our children our being raised w/ no religion at all. My oldest daughter has expressed recently a desire to be Wiccan. My family would freak out more over that then me being an athiest, LOL But I don't care what my children choose, if they want to be religious, whatever, but I will give them the freedom to choose their own path. I won't be brainwashing anyone!

Now with this Duggar crap coming out I felt the need to share my story. I don't want to be a part of a community that would defend someone like Josh Duggar. Even though I'm still scared of what my family might say I am glad my eyes are open, and I gladly choose the wide path of freedom over the narrow path of ignorance! Thanks for letting me share.