My faith is gone and it hurts

By Emi ~

I am in such emotional pain. I think on real death, real nothingness, no afterlife, no heaven, no pony and no dessert buffet.

I was hoping for so much.

I'll never see my dead mom again. I'm stuck with no one better than my own species for company. No eternally powerful and infinitely moral invisible best friend.

My own species is still so awful to itself and each other, considering this knowing this short little bit of time we have is all we will ever have is too much.

I don't want to buy the world a coke, I want to scream at it! I want to say, "I don't get a paradise! You should be working hard to make this little slice of existence great for me and I should be doing the same for you! This existence is all we have!"

I have no packets of supernatural power, no creator of everything I can go to and ask for that perfect job, or that perfect win.

Ouch.
Oh my humanity.
Just ouch.


But I know that this is truth, it is to horrible to not be.

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