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I finally snapped wide-awake.

By Josh ~

The fact that christian faith is an enormous fabrication recently became suddenly clear to me. I was raised in a baptist christian family, but thankfully it was pretty easy-going. By the time I became a teenager my mother and stepfather pretty much allowed me to choose whether I went to church or not. Even though I wholeheartedly believed in Jesus and the entire bible for that matter, I avoided going to church simply because I did not feel comfortable in it. The singing, the fake faces of "love and care"--I absolutely abhorred it.

Jumping ahead to when I was 19 and in college, I fell in love with my first love. I had known her since I was in first grade and we had always been close friends. We are very similar and most notably we are both very intelligent. We also both had very similar christian upbringings. Her parents are far more hardcore about their faith than mine are and that tended to adversely impact our relationship. However we pressed forth in a rocky relationship for 2 years. Oddly enough, her parents were and still are very fond of me.

About 4 months before my first love and I broke up, she had seemingly out of nowhere became hardcore in her faith. We quit having sex and she avoided all of the other fun activities we had used to partake in (drinking and things of such nature). Our relationship up until this point had been going very badly, so I took that fact along with her sudden turn to faith as a sign from "the lord" that it was time to clean up my act and "follow Jesus" to live a wholesome life and restore our relationship which had all but completely fallen apart. Needless to say, a relationship without sex and passion becomes uninteresting very quickly. Despite all of this, I still tried my best to do what was "right in the eyes of the lord" but it didn't work. We finally split altogether.

After our breakup I continued to "follow Jesus" as best as I knew how. I went to church and read the bible regularly. Most significantly I did my very best to stop sinning. I struggled mainly with lust and anger. Over the next 3 years (which leads up to today), I was driven absolutely crazy with the inability to give up these sins. I was always racked with guilt to the point of tears and self-hatred. I begged and prayed for help and answers for these 3 years. I also talked to pastors and people who seemed very knowledgeable and strong in faith. Of course nothing and nobody ever helped. I was borderline suicidal at some points.

I begged and prayed for help and answers for these 3 years. I also talked to pastors and people who seemed very knowledgeable and strong in faith. Of course nothing and nobody ever helped.In the past few months I have been accepting my realization that Christianity and all religion for that matter is totally bogus. The amount of facts and evidence against it all is beyond astounding. I really don't know how I did not come to this realization sooner. I have known about evolution and the history of religions and all that stuff, but the fact that I believed in Christianity for so long demonstrates its brainwashing power. As I mentioned earlier I am an intelligent person and have been so my entire life. My IQ is in the 150's for crying out loud and yet I was still effectively sucked into this mind-numbing cult. It nearly ruined me. I am infinitely grateful and relieved to have finally escaped the bible's spell. My mental health has dramatically improved within just a few weeks of breaking free. I feel no more guilt for my humanly desires.

I have pretty much completely embraced my 180 degree turnaround. It was a rather dramatic and sudden change but I have no problem embracing truth. My outlook on life and humanity has changed in such an indescribable way. However I can say without doubt that it is far more positive and hopeful. Christianity had me in such a depressing and despairing rut. I wish I could pry others from its relentless clutch and show them what they are missing.

I would like to thank this website and the members of it. Over the past few months it has helped me tremendously to read others' testimonies and experiences. It was a huge aid for me in embracing this enlightenment. I can only hope that my testimony will help someone else as well.