Two Worlds

By Alex ~

I have never believed in God. I never thought that there was a higher power watching over us, or guiding us. That's fine, many people would respect something like that. My problem is, everyone thinks I believe.

Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

It started when a friend of mine asked me to go to church with her. Normally I'd say, no thanks, or maybe go once and tell them it wasn't for me. But earlier that week, she told me that she liked me. I said that I didn't feel the same way and I felt sorry for her. So I went to her church a couple of times, and I thought it was kind of fun besides all the worship.

I planned on telling her that I wasn't Christian, and that I don't believe in God, but she looked so hopeful when I went to church that night, that I thought that maybe if I just kept going I might be able to believe, or at least begin to. I realize now that it was the complete wrong reason to keep going.

I felt sorry for her because she was trying so hard to keep a hold of me that I started to slip. The more time I spend with her, the more desperate she seems to get, and the more I don't want to be around her.

One day I made the mistake of telling her I accepted Christ as my savior. That's when I realized that I have dug myself a hole deeper than I can get out of. But it made her so happy that I thought if I just kept trying I could eventually believe, or at least pretend to. It's been four months since I joined her church, and I haven't felt a thing.

It gets worse. There is a girl.

My friend wasn't the only one interested in me. Not too long after my friend had showed her interest in me, another girl who I find to be a wonderful person showed an interest as well. I politely turned her down when she asked me to go on a date with her, because I knew she was an Atheist, and I didn't want to disappoint my Christian friend.

Eventually word got out about me and her, and all of my friends were super excited, and said I should go out with her. All of my friends except my Christian friend. She said that she thought that she was a bad influence, and that she would turn me away from Christ. She said that it was in my best interest to stay away from her.

Over the past few months, I think she has grown jealous and bitter. She doesn't listen to what I have to say, and she constantly undermines me like every decision I make is the wrong one. We even made a deal not to date anyone because she thought I wasn't thinking straight. And the only reason I listen to her is that I feel sorry for her.

She tries to get close to me thinking that maybe there is a chance that we could be together. But what she doesn't realize is that I want to be with this other girl so much that I am willing to give it all up. I would end all the lies, and the fake smiles, just to be with her. I've never felt this way towards anyone, but the only thing keeping me from her is the pity I have for my friend.

This is the choice I have to make. I can either stop pretending, face up to my friend, and possibly lose her forever. Or I could keep living this life of lies, and lose the girl I've dreamed of.

I love my friend like a sister, and I would never do anything to hurt her, but I'm tired of living this fake life. I can't deal with the lying and the false personalities. I'm not a Christian. I love that girl. Nothing will change that.

This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. I don't know what to do anymore.

Comments

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not

ACTS OF GOD

By David Andrew Dugle ~ S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden – Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

I can fix ignorance; I can't fix stupid!

By Bob O ~ I 'm an atheist and a 52-year veteran of public education. I need not tell anyone the problems associated with having to "duck" the "Which church do you belong to?" with my students and their parents. Once told by a parent that they would rather have a queer for their sons' teacher than an atheist! Spent HOURS going to the restroom right when prayers were performed: before assemblies, sports banquets, "Christmas Programs", awards assemblies, etc... Told everyone that I had a bladder problem. And "yes" it was a copout to many of you, but the old adage (yes, it's religious) accept what you can't change, change that which you can and accept the strength to know the difference! No need arguing that which you will never change. Enough of that. What I'd like to impart is my simple family chemistry. My wife is a Baptist - raised in a Baptist Orphanage (whole stories there) and is a believer. She did not know my religi

Search This Blog

Two Worlds

Labels