Religious family stress

By Paul ~

First of all, I come from a very religious family. My dad has always been intensely involved in the church and my whole family are rock solid Christians... all but me.

I recently came out to my mom and brother about not believing in God. It was hard, and they said they'll pray for me :|

Anyway, how Christianity makes my life hard, is the way it makes them think, and the decisions they make, that sometimes effect me. I have two brothers: The oldest is an (ex) drug user, religious fanatic, and a bit reckless. The middle one is a very hard working guy, that has always been looking out for himself and not screwing up. I am the youngest, kind of in between those two, except for the drugs and religion.

Now the history with my eldest brother is that he always got himself back into drugs and then he would reach a stage where god 'saves' him. 'God has taken me back into his arms, after the devil tempted me.' My belief has always been that if he didn't believe in these two extremes, he would actually start taking responsibility for himself, and I seriously believe that his case has been one of the biggest contributing factors to in me not believing.

Now what recently happened was that my middle brother decided to leave his business and become a missionary for a couple of years. That's all good, I don't fight him on that, he must do what he feels is right for him. He worked hard and has a nest egg saved, plus his an engineer that can easily get a job with his record...

But now my older brother has jumped on tha band waggon, not actually to go be a missionary, no, he just quit his job and now wants to go live with my parents and study the bible for a couple of months. ?

If I came from a rich family with loads of resources I would not be so concerned about this, and he would just be my screw-up brother. BUT, my dad has an illness, something similar to Alzheimer's. He lives with my mother and they are both pensioners with no cash to spare.

What concerns me is that at this moment I am the only one in my family with a job that pays, and If anything should happen the whole wreck will fall squarely on my shoulders.

He's bound to go back to the 'dark-side' sooner or later where he'd spend all his money and I'll have to bail him out. This makes me angry. This God Illusion makes me angry, that now.

Please tell me If I'm being unreasonable. Or is this truly bullsh%t?

P.S. Im only 26. He's 33.

Comments

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