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Current status: sufficiently confused

By M ~

I don't want to be atheist, but don't want to be Christian either because of the way they often have such closed (if not imposing) minds. Almost like "their way or the highway..."

I've always been the kind who would like to have a mind "opened by wonder rather than closed by belief".

What if I just innately want to believe that all the universe is like a cloth, and god is the thread? What if I think we mistook an alien for God?

I try to read the bible, and usually agree with Jesus' basic teachings on being a good, conscientious person, but I have trouble right off the bat with chapter one! Whats up in this Genesis?
"Let us create man in our image"
Who is "us" and "our"?

Then I read on and see this God totally regrets creating us - doesn't like our behavior- so he selects one family (Noah's) then wipes everybody else out. THEN, well then he's sorry, and promises not to do that to us again. Whew. Temperamental...

This doesn't feel like a true depiction of what god might really be... And don't even get me started on asking where did all those wives come from after Cain & Able got in their fight and Eve made more sons.

And why do Christians get so out of sorts if you mention that the bible was written and interpreted by man, many books are missing, and what you are reading is exactly what positions of power wanted you to read? Yes, it has a political and mass control agenda behind it, historically.

So... I continue to study everything with a discerning eye while still trying to wrap my brain around something full of love and larger than life that I am almost certain is out there. Being here on earth is the confusing part.