By a Free Man ~
My childhood was on a farm in Saskatchewan, Canada. My parents are absolutely nuts and when I was a kid I was beat for anything that was against God. If I got a toy in a cereal box my mother would curse it and throw it in the garbage saying it was delivered directly from hell. My dad was seriously messed up. He enjoyed beating his cows and driving into them damaging their bodies and running over and shooting gophers. He would often take my brother and me into a tent or his bed when my mother wasn't there and tell us to take off our clothes and sleep with his back against ours 'Like a real grown up soldier would do'. I'm not sure if we were raped or molested as I can't remember anything and neither can my brother. They would use me as a tool to send messages back and forth to each other about how the other was demon possessed and eventually they got a divorce and the church they attended split because each took a side of one of my parents.
From there everything got worse. My mother was being abducted by aliens and being visited by demons. She even claims that a demon raped her while she was pregnant with my sister and that's why my sister was born with a heart defect and that God told her that he demanded her death. Luckily she is still alive and healed (physically but not psychologically). All my teachers and adult models were Christians who agreed and supported either my mom or dad in their delusions as these adults suffered the SAME delusion.
Goddamn Christians fucked me up. They made me go to special classes at the church where I had to design my afterlife and I had to create a second voice in my head that was God and they had a series of tests to prove it was God and I was to obey whatever this voice said to me without question, just like they did. It wasn't that bad at first, as I thought I was a good kid and I was obedient and that's what God wanted me to be, until my mom got remarried and I got into a public junior high where I constantly getting my ass kicked because I was indoctrinated to HATE the world and everyone who was not a Christian with the utmost hatred I could. I had no friends and my teachers didn't give a shit about me. The school counselor was just as FUCKED as those goddamn Christians. She had spiritual powers and she could read auras and she thought my parents were incredibly holy by the aura they omitted. This is in a goddamn fucking public school. FUCK!! I'm asexually orientated but my parents couldn't accept that so they constantly called me a homosexual and kept doing it hoping I would snap and they would have a reason to boot me out instantly. I thought something was wrong with me so I forced myself to watch internet pornography to somehow not feel like something was wrong with my sexuality and this really confused me. Some of the first words my step-dad said to me was 'I'm kicking your butt out when your 16' and 'You better not be a fag'. Goddamn Christian hospitality. Every day was a struggle to everywhere I went. School sucked, I went home and got bullied/beat by my mother and step-dad in weird sadistic ways (for an example, my step-dad would force me to pick weeds in the yard then he would take his weed whacker and shoot rocks in my face and laugh hysterically while doing it), and church I got mind fucked by the fucking madmen there. They locked up our food and only let us eat when they thought God thought we were allowed to eat. There were fourteen doors in the house and all were locked with key so they could restrict any and all movements we had. Suicide always looked like a heavenly gift, except suicides go straight to hell. Fucking Christians trapping a person with every way out!!
When I was 14 I was told they weren't paying for anything of mine anymore and I was to start making my own living and get a job. Now my step-dad is a well-off guy and money wasn't an issue and I was receiving, just for me alone, ~$500/month for child support cause my dad worked for Revenue Canada, the RCMP, and CSIS as an investigator for financial fraud and an auditor, but they took my money and put it toward their ~$60,000 plan to have the best yard in the neighborhood. At this time they were convinced Lucifer, Satan himself, had possessed my little 9 year old sister with the heart defect and were performing exorcisms on her. When they were convinced that she was hopeless they lied and told psychiatrists that she was exhibiting signs of schizophrenia and locked her away in a mental institution where she was abused by a male nurse who got away with it by saying her allegations were delusion and my fucking Christian parents supported him!!! FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK!! That goddamn motherfucker. I have hundreds of stories but none matter as I hope the readers get the point. Somehow I made it through high school and I found myself with an opportunity to take psychedelic drugs.
[She eventually made her way out when an Australian psychiatrist interviewed my step-dad and he was convinced he was suffering from some form of social psychosis. My step-dad was convinced the psychiatrist was satanic and pulled my sister from the hospital. (Thank you Dr. Carol. You saved her life from your own hospital staff.) She ended up getting back into contact with my real dad when she thought he had changed, I personally think it was a delusion of hers, as after abusing her again he tried to have sex with her but she managed to escape.]
Hallucinogens saved my life. Soon as I did them my parents banished me from their house forever. The psychedelics allowed me to see outside of the reality structure I was trapped in and I went to test out, over four years, all the religions and philosophies that were reasonable and I have found no evidence, or reason that Christianity or any religion is authentic and real. Richard Dawkins, Michael Shermer, Timothy Leary, Penn Jillette and Teller, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, and various other atheists saved my life. Before I was getting better from the aide of philosophy, reason, and psychedelics, I was planning an incredibly detailed murder of my parents; I had literally gone absolutely mad. It was the only thing that I thought I could do. Hallucinogens saved me from being a fucked up murderer and saved me from that living hell that is Christianity, forever. My entire existential paradigm was a forgery, a mere mirage, all of the experiences I forced to perceive as God, miracles, divine wrath, or holiness was made up in my head. I didn't know until I understood what constitutes for a reality structure by dismantling my own with psychedelics. I now have a stable job and a new career coming and, of course, a stable mind. However, I have uncontrollable hatred toward religious people but I don't act on it. I am absolutely horrified that my society allows such horrible people to be free with their thoughts and ideas. If a person makes these decisions as an adult I will just think they are straight fucked, but when these things are forced on a child with a malleable, trusting, and plastic mind, this is as despicable as the holocaust. One may not see this comparison, but they are destroying lives. They are existentially killing these children and these children grow up to be damaging members of society. It is absolutely terrible that someone be forced to believe anything. Reality simply does not work this way.
As of now I heard my mother suffers from severe dementia at the age of 50 and she spends all day worshiping Jesus Christ as she thinks she is in heaven which I guess is an endless church service. The church my step-dad goes to has a special retreat were people can summon the Holy Spirit to allow them the special powers to speak in tongues to prove, without a doubt, that their delusion is real. My brother is a suicidal bulimic alcoholic who worships my mother for some delusional reason, and my little sister disappeared completely in the last while. I think she wanted a fresh start from all that she used to know and she deserves it. Her fucking religion and public society fucked her up. My real dad had a psychotic melt-down and disappeared completely after his dad, my grandfather, who was a well-respected Christian pastor in central Canada, died.
Now some might say that these are just screwed up people but I am absolutely on the ball when I testify that these people whom I labeled as Christians got all of their motivation, information, and conviction to act in the manner that they acted from the Bible. This is what they based their paradigms on; their interpretation of the Bible. They confessed it themselves. The Bible is absolutely useless for understanding reality and interacting with it. Fuck, why does this book even exist? All it does it allow damaged people and unreasonable people a justification to support their absolutely ridiculous self-created paradigms. It is so full of duality that basically any psychopath can claim the Bible as their infallible source of an imposed reality structure.
Needless to say I am not a Christian and for the reader who actually went through this, thank you for your time, sincerely from the bottom of my heart. My story is out about how I personally experienced the insanity that Christianity allows. An atheist will not have any grounds for these actions while a Christian will stand upon their Bible as their support. It seems that a person will abandon reason if they have a Bible, but it could be that the people who already abandoned reason are attracted to such a book. If religion is weeded out irrational people will have to face their consequences without a scapegoat. I would enjoy that day, although it doesn't seem likely in my time, when they have to admit their own responsibility for the crimes they have committed against other human beings.
From there everything got worse. My mother was being abducted by aliens and being visited by demons. She even claims that a demon raped her while she was pregnant with my sister and that's why my sister was born with a heart defect and that God told her that he demanded her death. Luckily she is still alive and healed (physically but not psychologically). All my teachers and adult models were Christians who agreed and supported either my mom or dad in their delusions as these adults suffered the SAME delusion.
Goddamn Christians fucked me up. They made me go to special classes at the church where I had to design my afterlife and I had to create a second voice in my head that was God and they had a series of tests to prove it was God and I was to obey whatever this voice said to me without question, just like they did. It wasn't that bad at first, as I thought I was a good kid and I was obedient and that's what God wanted me to be, until my mom got remarried and I got into a public junior high where I constantly getting my ass kicked because I was indoctrinated to HATE the world and everyone who was not a Christian with the utmost hatred I could. I had no friends and my teachers didn't give a shit about me. The school counselor was just as FUCKED as those goddamn Christians. She had spiritual powers and she could read auras and she thought my parents were incredibly holy by the aura they omitted. This is in a goddamn fucking public school. FUCK!! I'm asexually orientated but my parents couldn't accept that so they constantly called me a homosexual and kept doing it hoping I would snap and they would have a reason to boot me out instantly. I thought something was wrong with me so I forced myself to watch internet pornography to somehow not feel like something was wrong with my sexuality and this really confused me. Some of the first words my step-dad said to me was 'I'm kicking your butt out when your 16' and 'You better not be a fag'. Goddamn Christian hospitality. Every day was a struggle to everywhere I went. School sucked, I went home and got bullied/beat by my mother and step-dad in weird sadistic ways (for an example, my step-dad would force me to pick weeds in the yard then he would take his weed whacker and shoot rocks in my face and laugh hysterically while doing it), and church I got mind fucked by the fucking madmen there. They locked up our food and only let us eat when they thought God thought we were allowed to eat. There were fourteen doors in the house and all were locked with key so they could restrict any and all movements we had. Suicide always looked like a heavenly gift, except suicides go straight to hell. Fucking Christians trapping a person with every way out!!
When I was 14 I was told they weren't paying for anything of mine anymore and I was to start making my own living and get a job. Now my step-dad is a well-off guy and money wasn't an issue and I was receiving, just for me alone, ~$500/month for child support cause my dad worked for Revenue Canada, the RCMP, and CSIS as an investigator for financial fraud and an auditor, but they took my money and put it toward their ~$60,000 plan to have the best yard in the neighborhood. At this time they were convinced Lucifer, Satan himself, had possessed my little 9 year old sister with the heart defect and were performing exorcisms on her. When they were convinced that she was hopeless they lied and told psychiatrists that she was exhibiting signs of schizophrenia and locked her away in a mental institution where she was abused by a male nurse who got away with it by saying her allegations were delusion and my fucking Christian parents supported him!!! FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK!! That goddamn motherfucker. I have hundreds of stories but none matter as I hope the readers get the point. Somehow I made it through high school and I found myself with an opportunity to take psychedelic drugs.
[She eventually made her way out when an Australian psychiatrist interviewed my step-dad and he was convinced he was suffering from some form of social psychosis. My step-dad was convinced the psychiatrist was satanic and pulled my sister from the hospital. (Thank you Dr. Carol. You saved her life from your own hospital staff.) She ended up getting back into contact with my real dad when she thought he had changed, I personally think it was a delusion of hers, as after abusing her again he tried to have sex with her but she managed to escape.]
Hallucinogens saved my life. Soon as I did them my parents banished me from their house forever. The psychedelics allowed me to see outside of the reality structure I was trapped in and I went to test out, over four years, all the religions and philosophies that were reasonable and I have found no evidence, or reason that Christianity or any religion is authentic and real. Richard Dawkins, Michael Shermer, Timothy Leary, Penn Jillette and Teller, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, and various other atheists saved my life. Before I was getting better from the aide of philosophy, reason, and psychedelics, I was planning an incredibly detailed murder of my parents; I had literally gone absolutely mad. It was the only thing that I thought I could do. Hallucinogens saved me from being a fucked up murderer and saved me from that living hell that is Christianity, forever. My entire existential paradigm was a forgery, a mere mirage, all of the experiences I forced to perceive as God, miracles, divine wrath, or holiness was made up in my head. I didn't know until I understood what constitutes for a reality structure by dismantling my own with psychedelics. I now have a stable job and a new career coming and, of course, a stable mind. However, I have uncontrollable hatred toward religious people but I don't act on it. I am absolutely horrified that my society allows such horrible people to be free with their thoughts and ideas. If a person makes these decisions as an adult I will just think they are straight fucked, but when these things are forced on a child with a malleable, trusting, and plastic mind, this is as despicable as the holocaust. One may not see this comparison, but they are destroying lives. They are existentially killing these children and these children grow up to be damaging members of society. It is absolutely terrible that someone be forced to believe anything. Reality simply does not work this way.
As of now I heard my mother suffers from severe dementia at the age of 50 and she spends all day worshiping Jesus Christ as she thinks she is in heaven which I guess is an endless church service. The church my step-dad goes to has a special retreat were people can summon the Holy Spirit to allow them the special powers to speak in tongues to prove, without a doubt, that their delusion is real. My brother is a suicidal bulimic alcoholic who worships my mother for some delusional reason, and my little sister disappeared completely in the last while. I think she wanted a fresh start from all that she used to know and she deserves it. Her fucking religion and public society fucked her up. My real dad had a psychotic melt-down and disappeared completely after his dad, my grandfather, who was a well-respected Christian pastor in central Canada, died.
Now some might say that these are just screwed up people but I am absolutely on the ball when I testify that these people whom I labeled as Christians got all of their motivation, information, and conviction to act in the manner that they acted from the Bible. This is what they based their paradigms on; their interpretation of the Bible. They confessed it themselves. The Bible is absolutely useless for understanding reality and interacting with it. Fuck, why does this book even exist? All it does it allow damaged people and unreasonable people a justification to support their absolutely ridiculous self-created paradigms. It is so full of duality that basically any psychopath can claim the Bible as their infallible source of an imposed reality structure.
Needless to say I am not a Christian and for the reader who actually went through this, thank you for your time, sincerely from the bottom of my heart. My story is out about how I personally experienced the insanity that Christianity allows. An atheist will not have any grounds for these actions while a Christian will stand upon their Bible as their support. It seems that a person will abandon reason if they have a Bible, but it could be that the people who already abandoned reason are attracted to such a book. If religion is weeded out irrational people will have to face their consequences without a scapegoat. I would enjoy that day, although it doesn't seem likely in my time, when they have to admit their own responsibility for the crimes they have committed against other human beings.
Comments
Post a Comment