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What We Understand

By Carl S ~

I have a son from my first marriage. His name is Emmett. My wife and I went to his wedding reception, and all of us have gone out to restaurants together. Although we live far apart, we keep in touch regularly. You won't find better friends than they are, or a more lovable gentleman than Emmett.

Love is a means of manipulation because it is powerful. There are many case histories of men killing the spouses of women they love, out of love. Consider a common situation some males get themselves into, and the consequences of their decisions while in love. We all, male and female, can understand what it means to be intensely in love with someone. We've heard “love is blind.”

For example: A vulnerable man strikes up a friendship with a woman, which becomes a passionate sexual relationship. He's taken leave of his mind, doesn't care, he believing she loves him more than anyone he's ever known, she’s someone he is destined to be with. Then, she reveals she's married. That doesn't diminish his passion. She tells him her husband's mentally and physically abusing her. She tells him he has threatened to kill her if she leaves him. Sometimes the lovers agree he deserves to die, and then they can be free together. But will he kill to prove the strength of his love for her?

Men and women lie to get what they want. These women, for that reason, claim they're abused, when the opposite is obvious to anyone who knows their husbands. Spouses are killed because the lover of another man's spouse truly believes what she tells him. The lover is too involved with her to question her claims, will not allow himself to investigate them, will not confront or even meet the spouse. We can understand. The lover believes he knows, as no other, the person he is involved with. He knows “without a doubt” her love for him. The bonds of love can be used for good or evil purposes, and if the evil is seen as good, “executing” the one who abuses one's lover is justified. We can understand a man willing to harm someone believed to be abusing or threatening to kill his beloved. A beloved who demands he harms someone he loves is severely mentally ill or just plain evil.

Those indoctrinated in three major faiths have their scriptural heroes, praised as representing the highest examples of loyalties to their god. They are the role models who obediently prove their utmost love for the unseen god. One man is held in highest esteem by those three religions, proving his love by obedient willingness to sacrifice someone he loved: Abraham. I've been told that I, like those men, should passionately love with all my heart, an invisible father who will test my love to the maximum. At the same time, millions are taught their one true god chose to show his love by having his only son killed for humankind. His is the example of what Christians preach as the greatest love of all.

My wife and I will watch yet another report of a man murdering his lover's husband. I will mention the love that man had. Then I shall tell her, “I love you even more. To prove how true and powerful my love for you is, I'm going now to kill Emmett for you.”

Would her faith-filled family say of me, “See how he so loved...” And will she still not understand?