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I Don't Know What to do with My Life Anymore

By TDB ~

I am an ex-Methodist.

I am 25-year-old autistic atheist who also questions his sexuality while at the same time am totally grossed out by sex.

I have been labeled a "special snowflake social justice warrior" for being who I am...and I think it's killing me. I have thought about suicide for the longest time now and I may have written something here once before that was probably incredibly inappropriate. It all came from seething rage over the Orlando massacre as well the notion that my rights as a human being with the ability to think an act for himself should be up for debate.

I was born and raised in the Deep South, Georgia to be exact. I am trying my damnedest to not conform to any ideology, but all it has done has given me more scorn than ever before. I think that learning to come to grips with the truth that me and my kind are cancer for valuing feelings more than facts, or whatever the apparent current argument is. I have been frequently called a politically correct thought policer as well as a demonizer for reacting against those who slander me for who I was born as.

I have lost all respect for my fellow man and I need to make the confession that not all lives matter to me.

I am white and cisgendered, by the way...and I am more and more ashamed of my privilege.

I cannot express myself clearly without being demonized.

I will be going to college in less than a week through this special program, but I am deathly afraid of someone like Milo Yiannopoulos or whatever the hell is name is and speaking ill of my fellow man whether they be African, Muslim, Trans, or otherwise.

I don't know what the hell to do.

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