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I am not a "True Christian"

By Rico the Atheist ~

I am not exactly sure where I should begin? But, I guess I can start with I am 32 years-old, Puerto Rican, a U.S. Army veteran, I have two kids and I have been married for also 10 years to my wife. I also go to school for Digital and Multimedia design. Please forgive any grammar errors you see in this essay of sorts.

English: Photographs of the Rally to Restore S...
English: Photographs of the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I became an atheist back in October 2014, and then I told my wife that I no longer believe in GOD. She was not exactly happy to hear this, and she did not initially believe me.(The thing is I use to be a christian back in 2012 and I was one since I was 12 years old). She is a Christian, who not only believes in the bible, but she is also one who believes this is the end times. At first, when we use to live in Texas it was only about me changing my mind on Gay marriage.(I will admit that I use to think it was a choice and that it was wrong to be LGBTQ).I looked online to find the truth of the matter. I was shocked and knew that what I had thought previously was wrong! I felt as though I should have known better, but I didn't and I felt so dirty for it. I told my wife what I thought about it and she was angry. We would get into heated debates or arguments because when you argue with... what is the word I am looking for?... oh, now I know: A TRUE CHRISTIAN! You really get a diminished sense of self afterwards once you hear that. Well I did anyways, when I considered myself a Christian.

We would try to make up, but I could always feel this uneasiness in the air. There was tension between us often, but it only got worst once Halloween came around. Now I know what is say next might sound silly to some, but I LOVE HALLOWEEN! I wanted to take my daughter tricking or treating, but my wife THE TRUE CHRISTIAN was not having any of that. She told me it was the Devil's day and she would not let my daughter celebrate it. Well, if you don't know yet I was sadden, hurt, and mad. I just wanted to spend that night dressed up in a costume with my daughter and get candy with her. But, as you can see my wife did not see it that. She spoke of spirits and that they can enter your mind and take over your soul. At first, when I heard this I thought she was talking crazy talk, but I knew she meant it.

She also wanted me to use my gift of drawing to please GOD. Well, I told her that is nice for someone who wants that, but I don't want to stop drawing superheroes, monsters, and robots. I have been drawing since the 4th grade and I know what I like to draw. She also said that video games can invite evil spirits into a person. I looked at her and I said to her I like playing video games. I don't see anything wrong with that. She said I could find Christian video games, but I was not having that. She really didn't like my shows or the movies I watched. She said something about the fallen angels are the ones who gave us humans the ideas for these awful movies. She made the same claim about our advancement in technology.

After a year of that, we moved to Florida. Even though we had moved and lived in a nice gated apartment complex, we were still fighting about the same things from Texas. Only this time we were fighting about this and having another child. She kept saying with our difference in beliefs and she was not sure I was going to be a good father. I admit I did press the issue about having another child, and I thought it unfair of her to suggest that I was a bad father to begin with. I have loved my children from the very beginning. When I held them in my arms, I was more that overjoyed to be in their lives. I wanted to be the best dad for them. Well after a few weeks of arguing we decided to have another child.

I know I gave the ending already on that, but just hang in there. My wife was pregnant and she was not easy to get along with. Those same arguments we had before only got worse. She was always on Youtube looking for evidence to convince me of the end times and that of a gay agenda. She would watch a program that convinced her that the government was trying to create animal people that were gay by design and also that they would take over the world for Satan. I know it sounds strange reading it, but you have to remember this is the woman I fell in love with and I wanted nothing more than to be there for her. I am not going to say it was easy, by no means was it ever easy for either of us. Once she hit her 6-month mark and also after getting mad at me and scratch one of my favorite games (I had to get a new one after that), she had calmed a little. This also meant a new argument was coming, this time it was more focused on the Catholic Church and Islam. Now, I will say this ahead of time before I go any further, I did do TWO deployments to Iraq. I have gotten to know a few people there who are Muslim and a few Greek Catholics as well. I also had the opportunity to go to an Aramaic service, it was nice but I had no idea what those monks were saying.

You really get a diminished sense of self afterwards once you hear that. Well I did anyways, when I considered myself a Christian.Well, after a while of having arguments, that to be honest, no one should really argue over these things. I know I was wrong on a few occasions, and I should have known better. There was a time when I wanted to become Catholic, but I was not about to spend a year becoming one. I know it sounds lazy, but I was in a conflicting mood during that time.To be honest, if you got this far, either this is an interesting piece or you just scrolled down to this point. It doesn't really matter. Anyways, I am just glad I can get this off my chest.

I also got to hear about the Illuminati and how they control every government around the world. I even heard my wife say that the Homosexual agenda is trying to turn all the kids in the world gay and that the next thing on the list in marrying animals. Now when I heard all of this I sat there and I thought is this really what is going on? I then thought I don't really take any of that seriously. Let us be honest no one can marry an a horse, dog, cat or even a tiger. Just a quick note I really like tigers and I think they are better than lions. Lions are so lazy! But, back to my point, even if it were possible for such a thing to happen would such a thing be called an agenda or more like a civil rights movement. Just for the record I am talking about LGBTQ rights, not marrying animals. Although I have to admit that I would love to see the someone try to have sex with a tiger so I could sit there and say well I know who is going to dead the next day. I know it sounds stupid, but a little funny to hear a tiger bride claw her human husband to death.

After my son was born and a year had past we move to a different part of Florida. I had heard that I was not a TRUE CHRISTIAN for so long I just decided to look up why people leave their faith. That is where this site came in for me. I spent weeks reading x-timontials that I started doing a lot of time thinking to myself. I questioned everything about my life and the things that GOD had supposedly done for me. I listen to videos from the Friendly Atheist site, read a few articles from Ben Love. And I noticed that during the time I was fighting with my wife and I believed I was angry with her and GOD and others like her. But, what I was really mad about was not really any of those things. In reality, I was sad, lonely, and depressed for allowing myself to be caught in a vicious circle of pain. So, on that night I told myself that I am an atheist and that I will have to tell my wife soon. I did not tell her immediately, but when she asked me a few days into my transition. That is when I smiled at her and said yes.

Since that day, we now argue over something new and although she doesn't like it, I could really care less about what she thinks of me being an atheist. I just want to be a good husband and father. However, I will have to tell the rest of my family and my best friend as well. All I can say is wish me luck.