Skip to main content

Leaving the Mind Numbing Cult

By Winged Witch ~

I wanted to share my story as an ex-Christian. I was raised in a Christian home although I don’t believe it had an extreme influence on my life at that time. The one and only time I prayed for help as a teen, I of course got no answer even after pleading and praying for over a month. At that time I was naïve enough to actually think I would be answered by the all powerful one. After I left home, I gave no consideration to a religion of any sort. I had a bit of a mystical experience that was life altering. Unfortunately, within a week of that experience, an acquaintance stopped by to tell me she was a new born again Christian. Of course “sin” came up. Apparently that hook had been placed deep enough in me that it took hold. I never stopped to contemplate the word. I searched out other religions and sure enough they didn’t have a plan in place to forgive “sin”.

Gee, this is so embarrassing to even talk about now.

That day started a 16-year slide into the pit of that mind numbing hell cult. It was fairly early on that I was having issues with Christianity. But I got the usual pat nonsense, which basically said we don’t have all the info we need, but we will still go to hell if we get it wrong. Nice. Thankfully, I am the forever researcher and when my health, mental and physical, was suffering and I pretty much wanted to kill myself, I started thinking outside the box, or at least peeking outside the box. I read everything I could find, lots of history, science, even metaphysical concepts, everything and anything that was from unacceptable sources. As we all know, Christianity’s ace in the hole is the fear of leaving. Research’s ace in the hole is reason. Reason won by having a whole lot more evidence on its side.

That day started a 16-year slide into the pit of that mind numbing hell cult. I remember thinking the day I made the leap out, that I just wish I could get that mystical experience back and there it was, that quick. At that time I was so broken, beaten down, and lifeless that all I could do was wake up in the morning clinging to the thought “it doesn’t have to be bad”, which was a far sight better than where I had been in my thinking.

For the last 25 years I have been a Witch. I do not believe in Gods or Goddesses. I am not involved in any of the pagan religions. “If” there is something more like an intelligent universe, it can’t be outside itself, so I am a pantheist in that respect only. I do believe the occult had an idea that certain aspects of thought could be manipulated to some degree. Maybe quantum physics is touching on some of it now. I have lived in dancing joy every day for 25 years now. Life is beautiful, our journey on this planet a gift, I honor all life as equal to my own, and the earth and beyond as my teacher. I still read history, science, and fringe science experiments. Now I put my 16 years of misery to good use as I can debate Christianity with Christians on terms they can understand.